Parent Intensity at Sidwell vs. STA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

What's your thought process? Struggling with this here.

What are the main questions you have? Academics, social, athletics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

What's your thought process? Struggling with this here.

What are the main questions you have? Academics, social, athletics?

Primarily social/cultural. Academics are strong at both—approached a little differently, but perhaps not meaningfully in our view. Athletics are stronger at STA. Our DS is a competent athlete and will do fine at either, but he’s not so one-sided that this would necessarily flip the decision for us. TIA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

What's your thought process? Struggling with this here.

What are the main questions you have? Academics, social, athletics?

Primarily social/cultural. Academics are strong at both—approached a little differently, but perhaps not meaningfully in our view. Athletics are stronger at STA. Our DS is a competent athlete and will do fine at either, but he’s not so one-sided that this would necessarily flip the decision for us. TIA!

Sidwell just won a state basketball tournament that St Albans didn't qualify for. I would argue that STA is better a LAX and Baseball, but otherwise, the sports at the two schools are pretty on par (yes even football).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

What's your thought process? Struggling with this here.

What are the main questions you have? Academics, social, athletics?

Primarily social/cultural. Academics are strong at both—approached a little differently, but perhaps not meaningfully in our view. Athletics are stronger at STA. Our DS is a competent athlete and will do fine at either, but he’s not so one-sided that this would necessarily flip the decision for us. TIA!

Sidwell just won a state basketball tournament that St Albans didn't qualify for. I would argue that STA is better a LAX and Baseball, but otherwise, the sports at the two schools are pretty on par (yes even football).

No STA is one of the best crew teams in the country. Also they won the IAC in soccer last year and they won cross country last year and many years prior. Swim and tennis also do well. Both good schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA parents sometimes joke there is a 'force field' at the door designed to keep parents out of the building. I mean, sure they are welcome and all but you generally get this vibe that parents aren't really needed to volunteer in the classroom and sit in on classes, etc (i.e. how it is in some elementary schools). Part of it is the boys are getting older, but I think part of it is designed to dial back some of the parental pressure on the kids during the day. I also think the building is designed as a maze to keep the parents from finding their way around the complex.

Another example is that when parents login to the student website, they don't have access to the kids progress (the kids have it on their logins, but not the parents). I asked IT about this 'glitch' and they said 'it's not a glitch, it's designed that way to keep the parents from fixating on the kids' day-to-day progress".

But as an earlier poster mentioned, I suspect it's a year-by-year thing. Some years may be better than others.

Sidwell parents don't go to Upper School at all, other than parent-teacher meetings. Parents do not have access to anything academic other than the quarterly/semester reports.

Another Sidwell upper school parent here. Maybe the middle school or lower school years are different. Perhaps parents are more present. But it hasn't been my experience in upper school. My DC came in 9th grade and agree with PP. other than 9th grade parent conference, there is no other interaction or other parents around campus. I could not even log in to my DC schedule when it came out bc only the students have access. Again, only access online is to see the quarterly and semester grades and to put money into Fox den acct.

Then you aren't asking the right questions. I have a 9th grader at SFS and we know a lot about teachers/ classes/ homework/ grades, etc. But we do make a point to ask, and often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

What's your thought process? Struggling with this here.

What are the main questions you have? Academics, social, athletics?

Primarily social/cultural. Academics are strong at both—approached a little differently, but perhaps not meaningfully in our view. Athletics are stronger at STA. Our DS is a competent athlete and will do fine at either, but he’s not so one-sided that this would necessarily flip the decision for us. TIA!

Sidwell just won a state basketball tournament that St Albans didn't qualify for. I would argue that STA is better a LAX and Baseball, but otherwise, the sports at the two schools are pretty on par (yes even football).

No STA is one of the best crew teams in the country. Also they won the IAC in soccer last year and they won cross country last year and many years prior. Swim and tennis also do well. Both good schools.

They are i different leagues, but you can compare the head to head results. They are pretty even, and no boys crew at Sidwell, so you have that one.

[Anonymous]

St. Albans will play Sidwell in lacrosse this spring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:St. Albans will play Sidwell in lacrosse this spring

See previous note...LAX and Baseball would likely be one-sided for STA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

What's your thought process? Struggling with this here.

What are the main questions you have? Academics, social, athletics?

Primarily social/cultural. Academics are strong at both—approached a little differently, but perhaps not meaningfully in our view. Athletics are stronger at STA. Our DS is a competent athlete and will do fine at either, but he’s not so one-sided that this would necessarily flip the decision for us. TIA!

Without giving too much information can you give us an idea of what your son is like and what his interests are and what he would be doing on a typical day on the weekend? Both schools are great so congratulations to your son for being accepted to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA parents sometimes joke there is a 'force field' at the door designed to keep parents out of the building. I mean, sure they are welcome and all but you generally get this vibe that parents aren't really needed to volunteer in the classroom and sit in on classes, etc (i.e. how it is in some elementary schools). Part of it is the boys are getting older, but I think part of it is designed to dial back some of the parental pressure on the kids during the day. I also think the building is designed as a maze to keep the parents from finding their way around the complex.

Another example is that when parents login to the student website, they don't have access to the kids progress (the kids have it on their logins, but not the parents). I asked IT about this 'glitch' and they said 'it's not a glitch, it's designed that way to keep the parents from fixating on the kids' day-to-day progress".

But as an earlier poster mentioned, I suspect it's a year-by-year thing. Some years may be better than others.

Sidwell parents don't go to Upper School at all, other than parent-teacher meetings. Parents do not have access to anything academic other than the quarterly/semester reports.

Another Sidwell upper school parent here. Maybe the middle school or lower school years are different. Perhaps parents are more present. But it hasn't been my experience in upper school. My DC came in 9th grade and agree with PP. other than 9th grade parent conference, there is no other interaction or other parents around campus. I could not even log in to my DC schedule when it came out bc only the students have access. Again, only access online is to see the quarterly and semester grades and to put money into Fox den acct.

Then you aren't asking the right questions. I have a 9th grader at SFS and we know a lot about teachers/ classes/ homework/ grades, etc. But we do make a point to ask, and often.

I learn stuff from my DC. What you mention seems to be more of a helicopter type parenting style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

OP, we have one child at each school already. I will not identify which grade we're applying to this year, because that will out us.

The bottom line is that I think for boys, STA is a better environment. It is surprisingly warm and nurturing, which was not obvious to us initially from the outside. Sidwell is also an outstanding school, but I feel STA's faculty relate to the boys differently. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it just seems like the faculty in toto are more personally invested in each child's success. STA also gets all kinds of boys -- shy, anxious, insecure, snotty, overconfident, athletic, bookish -- and knows how to bring the best out of each one. The boys develop a very tight bond that is different than what I see at Sidwell. "Band of brothers" sounds cliche, but there's a real culture of appreciating everyone for their unique talents.

DD is entrepreneurial, high-energy, and a go-getter. She loves Sidwell, and always has. Perhaps because of her, I think of Sidwell as a place where extroverted personalities thrive. Older DS is just as smart, but not as high energy or as driven. STA challenges him in the Goldilocks zone. He's thriving there.

Academically, they are on par by high school, but STA ramps up more slowly and with more support. There's a lot of focus on developing executive skills. A nice balance between independence and safety nets. Despite the school's push to develop independence for the kids, they are proactive in ensuring that parents know what they need to know to support their kids. Sidwell leans more towards independence and kids taking on leadership. For a child with a personality more like my daughter's it might be a better fit.

Sidwell seems to capture more publicly high profile families. STA has it's share, but it seems to me that Sidwell cares more about having prestigious families attend and recruits more actively to that end. That may be a pro or a con depending on your perspective.

[Anonymous]

OP, take a look at the recent Sidwell thread about the anti-Semitic incident that happened there:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/789861.page

Towards page 7 or 8 of the thread, you'll see some discussion of STA that might be relevant to your decision-making process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

OP, we have one child at each school already. I will not identify which grade we're applying to this year, because that will out us.

The bottom line is that I think for boys, STA is a better environment. It is surprisingly warm and nurturing, which was not obvious to us initially from the outside. Sidwell is also an outstanding school, but I feel STA's faculty relate to the boys differently. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it just seems like the faculty in toto are more personally invested in each child's success. STA also gets all kinds of boys -- shy, anxious, insecure, snotty, overconfident, athletic, bookish -- and knows how to bring the best out of each one. The boys develop a very tight bond that is different than what I see at Sidwell. "Band of brothers" sounds cliche, but there's a real culture of appreciating everyone for their unique talents.

DD is entrepreneurial, high-energy, and a go-getter. She loves Sidwell, and always has. Perhaps because of her, I think of Sidwell as a place where extroverted personalities thrive. Older DS is just as smart, but not as high energy or as driven. STA challenges him in the Goldilocks zone. He's thriving there.

Academically, they are on par by high school, but STA ramps up more slowly and with more support. There's a lot of focus on developing executive skills. A nice balance between independence and safety nets. Despite the school's push to develop independence for the kids, they are proactive in ensuring that parents know what they need to know to support their kids. Sidwell leans more towards independence and kids taking on leadership. For a child with a personality more like my daughter's it might be a better fit.

Sidwell seems to capture more publicly high profile families. STA has it's share, but it seems to me that Sidwell cares more about having prestigious families attend and recruits more actively to that end. That may be a pro or a con depending on your perspective.

We're also very pleased with STA for our DS who is a sporty but shy boy. The school's structure has caught him and his academics are soaring. I would also note the executive skills development has been rather fascinating--how to take notes, how to prepare for a test, how to summarize a book, etc. Stuff I never got when I attending big public. I will say the homework load at STA is significant (I don't know about Sidwell's policy). It's definitely a daily task and there are quizes, tests, and other graded works weekly.

If you attend the new parent's event seek out some of the families of existing students who are there and they can probably tell you more as it might relate directly to your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

OP, we have one child at each school already. I will not identify which grade we're applying to this year, because that will out us.

The bottom line is that I think for boys, STA is a better environment. It is surprisingly warm and nurturing, which was not obvious to us initially from the outside. Sidwell is also an outstanding school, but I feel STA's faculty relate to the boys differently. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it just seems like the faculty in toto are more personally invested in each child's success. STA also gets all kinds of boys -- shy, anxious, insecure, snotty, overconfident, athletic, bookish -- and knows how to bring the best out of each one. The boys develop a very tight bond that is different than what I see at Sidwell. "Band of brothers" sounds cliche, but there's a real culture of appreciating everyone for their unique talents.

DD is entrepreneurial, high-energy, and a go-getter. She loves Sidwell, and always has. Perhaps because of her, I think of Sidwell as a place where extroverted personalities thrive. Older DS is just as smart, but not as high energy or as driven. STA challenges him in the Goldilocks zone. He's thriving there.

Academically, they are on par by high school, but STA ramps up more slowly and with more support. There's a lot of focus on developing executive skills. A nice balance between independence and safety nets. Despite the school's push to develop independence for the kids, they are proactive in ensuring that parents know what they need to know to support their kids. Sidwell leans more towards independence and kids taking on leadership. For a child with a personality more like my daughter's it might be a better fit.

Sidwell seems to capture more publicly high profile families. STA has it's share, but it seems to me that Sidwell cares more about having prestigious families attend and recruits more actively to that end. That may be a pro or a con depending on your perspective.

We're also very pleased with STA for our DS who is a sporty but shy boy. The school's structure has caught him and his academics are soaring. I would also note the executive skills development has been rather fascinating--how to take notes, how to prepare for a test, how to summarize a book, etc. Stuff I never got when I attending big public. I will say the homework load at STA is significant (I don't know about Sidwell's policy). It's definitely a daily task and there are quizes, tests, and other graded works weekly.

If you attend the new parent's event seek out some of the families of existing students who are there and they can probably tell you more as it might relate directly to your son.

I second/third all the of the above. There are certainly intense parents at STA, but the school does a great job of deflecting and discouraging all of that and of teaching the boys how to make their own way, how to have confidence in their own abilities, and how to take risks and grow. For my son, it's been a great environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who got accepted to SFS and STA? What grade? Which way are you leaning?

Yes. Leaning toward STA.

OP, we have one child at each school already. I will not identify which grade we're applying to this year, because that will out us.

The bottom line is that I think for boys, STA is a better environment. It is surprisingly warm and nurturing, which was not obvious to us initially from the outside. Sidwell is also an outstanding school, but I feel STA's faculty relate to the boys differently. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it just seems like the faculty in toto are more personally invested in each child's success. STA also gets all kinds of boys -- shy, anxious, insecure, snotty, overconfident, athletic, bookish -- and knows how to bring the best out of each one. The boys develop a very tight bond that is different than what I see at Sidwell. "Band of brothers" sounds cliche, but there's a real culture of appreciating everyone for their unique talents.

DD is entrepreneurial, high-energy, and a go-getter. She loves Sidwell, and always has. Perhaps because of her, I think of Sidwell as a place where extroverted personalities thrive. Older DS is just as smart, but not as high energy or as driven. STA challenges him in the Goldilocks zone. He's thriving there.

Academically, they are on par by high school, but STA ramps up more slowly and with more support. There's a lot of focus on developing executive skills. A nice balance between independence and safety nets. Despite the school's push to develop independence for the kids, they are proactive in ensuring that parents know what they need to know to support their kids. Sidwell leans more towards independence and kids taking on leadership. For a child with a personality more like my daughter's it might be a better fit.

Sidwell seems to capture more publicly high profile families. STA has it's share, but it seems to me that Sidwell cares more about having prestigious families attend and recruits more actively to that end. That may be a pro or a con depending on your perspective.

Op here: thank you for this incredibly thoughtful, detailed post. My son is very extroverted, and in that way Sidwell is a nice fit. But the nurturing element for boys at Sta is evident (even if, as a mom who went to a co-ed school, I don't fully "get it."). Eager to hear what others think, but thank you for providing so much insight already.