Parent Intensity at Sidwell vs. STA

[Anonymous]

Exactly. Anyone who thinks that private school and public school applicants are compared head-to-head is naive about what "top 20" college admissions offices actually do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sidwell upper school parents are ridiculously intense about the college process. Just take a look at the many threads this year complaining about the counseling department there. STA parents also worry about how it all goes down (as do parents at every school), but they are not nearly as vocal about it.

I haven't noticed the threads about the counseling dept at Sidwell -- any links?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a "top 20" college admissions office with a staff of 15-20 people get 60,000 applications for a thousand spots they are not going to have time nor bandwidth to "evaluate and adjust for grading nuances" at top privates. They will first eliminate applications that fall below a certain test score/GPA threshold...The remaining apps will get a closer look...

The reputation advantage of "top DC privates" get wiped out when there are too many applicants...

This year is going to be tough if you were "aiming high."

If this were actually the case, then the top DC privates wouldn't be eliminating AP courses from their curriculums.

[Anonymous]

Sidwell parent here with kids in middle and upper. Parent intensity varies by class but its significant --to the point of one parent contacting college admission offices to tell them not to admit certain kids from the class. Parents can be quite covertly intense for their kids claiming often to be hands off which is considered the socially acceptable approach in the school--- but you hear from the kids a completely different story..loads of tutors, lots of parents gossiping about kids and networking with others for contacts, and paying a lot out of pocket for support outside school. Many will claim its not the case but it just is. There are cultural issues with the school and most parents know its being worked on but its not the happiest of places currently. It does seem parents play a role in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sidwell parent here with kids in middle and upper. Parent intensity varies by class but its significant --to the point of one parent contacting college admission offices to tell them not to admit certain kids from the class. Parents can be quite covertly intense for their kids claiming often to be hands off which is considered the socially acceptable approach in the school--- but you hear from the kids a completely different story..loads of tutors, lots of parents gossiping about kids and networking with others for contacts, and paying a lot out of pocket for support outside school. Many will claim its not the case but it just is. There are cultural issues with the school and most parents know its being worked on but its not the happiest of places currently. It does seem parents play a role in that.

A parent who contacts college admissions offices to lobby against a child’s classmate? Wouldn’t that be the world’s biggest flag to NEVER admit the child of the parent?

That story is so outrageous, it has to be a rumor. Surely that would never happen, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sidwell parent here with kids in middle and upper. Parent intensity varies by class but its significant --to the point of one parent contacting college admission offices to tell them not to admit certain kids from the class. Parents can be quite covertly intense for their kids claiming often to be hands off which is considered the socially acceptable approach in the school--- but you hear from the kids a completely different story..loads of tutors, lots of parents gossiping about kids and networking with others for contacts, and paying a lot out of pocket for support outside school. Many will claim its not the case but it just is. There are cultural issues with the school and most parents know its being worked on but its not the happiest of places currently. It does seem parents play a role in that.

Thank you so much for your honesty.

I agree with everything you've said, and you're right that it's very covert. I've heard the same things from my DC, but it seems an ironclad unwritten rule that parents can't talk about it or even acknowledge it to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sidwell parent here with kids in middle and upper. Parent intensity varies by class but its significant --to the point of one parent contacting college admission offices to tell them not to admit certain kids from the class. Parents can be quite covertly intense for their kids claiming often to be hands off which is considered the socially acceptable approach in the school--- but you hear from the kids a completely different story..loads of tutors, lots of parents gossiping about kids and networking with others for contacts, and paying a lot out of pocket for support outside school. Many will claim its not the case but it just is. There are cultural issues with the school and most parents know its being worked on but its not the happiest of places currently. It does seem parents play a role in that.

A parent who contacts college admissions offices to lobby against a child’s classmate? Wouldn’t that be the world’s biggest flag to NEVER admit the child of the parent?

That story is so outrageous, it has to be a rumor. Surely that would never happen, right?

j

Different poster here. People get almost deranged when it comes to college placement for their kids. There are some high-powered people with sway at their alma maters or people who are not so high powered but have a friend (or a friend of a friend) in admissions at __________________. Of course they don't say don't let X come. It's nuanced. "I think as an alum of X, you should know that Y has some issues that may not have been apparent in his application .... My DD has gone to school with him and, .... "

[Anonymous]

There's no strong preference for all boys or not? The schools are actually very different.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the parent who wrote to admissions offices about other kids in the class at Sidwell, in this case the parent wrote letters. It was not subtle. A giant embarrassment for the school because it exposed how toxic the culture has become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the parent who wrote to admissions offices about other kids in the class at Sidwell, in this case the parent wrote letters. It was not subtle. A giant embarrassment for the school because it exposed how toxic the culture has become.

Admissions committees are supposed to have confidentiality. I have no dog in this fight but honestly I would judge the schools that let this information out almost more than I would the person that wrote the letter. Breach of confidentiality.

[Anonymous]

Both sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sidwell parent here with kids in middle and upper. Parent intensity varies by class but its significant --to the point of one parent contacting college admission offices to tell them not to admit certain kids from the class. Parents can be quite covertly intense for their kids claiming often to be hands off which is considered the socially acceptable approach in the school--- but you hear from the kids a completely different story..loads of tutors, lots of parents gossiping about kids and networking with others for contacts, and paying a lot out of pocket for support outside school. Many will claim its not the case but it just is. There are cultural issues with the school and most parents know its being worked on but its not the happiest of places currently. It does seem parents play a role in that.

This! The parental network is all well and good up until 10th grade, then all bets are off, and parents covertly do what they need to do (tutors, test prep, outside advisors, intensive summer programs, ECs etc. ) to get their kid admitted into top a 10/20 school, until college acceptance. Then the parents are nice again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the parent who wrote to admissions offices about other kids in the class at Sidwell, in this case the parent wrote letters. It was not subtle. A giant embarrassment for the school because it exposed how toxic the culture has become.

Wow. I thought Sidwell might be something to look into for my much younger child later on--they're currently at another small private--but, yikes. I like the idea of a diverse, rigorous school, and I know other AA families there. Even if a long shot, not sure I'd want to explore further if the culture is as described in this example.

Do incidents like this happen at other Big 3/5 schools? Or is there something specific about the culture at Sidwell that allows sort of thing to fester?

[Anonymous]

Well, it sounds like someone posting with a hidden agenda of dissuading folks from applying to Sidwell (to weed out potential competition for their own kid) has succeeded!

[Anonymous]

What about that Tanya Harding like incident with the student athlete a couple years ago?