Why do people have to use the phrase “ we don’t do...”

[Anonymous]

Can’t help you OP. We don’t do introspection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

Make a statement that doesn't imply looking down your nose on other's who don't make the same choice as you.

You can say "We're limiting screen time." or "We're holding off on electronics until she's older" or "No electronics, please" Or "No thank you"

I'm a NP and this is ridiculous. "We don't do tablets" means the family doesn't use tablets. It's literally a statement of fact-- you're just defensive. There is nothing a person could say that would have a 100% success rate of being understood AND not offending others, so please don't act like there is. If I say "She doesn't use tablets," people think she just hasn't YET, and it's okay to offer. If I say "we don't allow tablets," (in a context where one isn't being offered, but as a response to "what's her favorite iPad game?" or something), that's kind of inaccurate, because I don't so much "disallow" them as, yes, simply "not do" them. I'm not saying "No," it's just not something we "do." I could go on and on. Even saying, "No, thank you," to an offer tends to invite more questions. We're all doing the best we can when forced to make these (usually apologetic) declarations. The idea that you have the One True Correct Way to Say It is laughable.

I'm the PP that you are responding to. I think you're being obtuse. I think you don't know what the colloquialism "We don't do..." means.

In response to your comment above, then say "We don't use tablets." There's a difference between "use" and "do".

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I%20don%27t%20do

Urban Dictionary wrote:i don't do
When you're too good to do something. Refusing to do a certain task, or wear a certain type of clothing because it is beneath you.
I don't do flats. They're trashy.

I don't do garbage. Save it for someone else.
#refuse#i dont do#hate#garbgage#refusal

The implication is that whatever you are describing is beneath you, and so are the people who allow their children to "do" that.

So, use proper English and avoid the stupid phrase "We don't do..." and use the correct phrase "We don't use...", "We don't eat/drink..." etc.

I love you for citing Urban Dictionary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, really, "We don't do X" = Looking down your nose at people who do? Sure, if making literally any choice and acknowledging that fact = thinking everyone who makes a different choice is an idiot. Makes perfect sense.

It's the "we don't DO" that's annoying. If someone offered my four-year old a soda I'd say, she doesn't drink soda. Because she doesn't. But we don't do soda just sounds obnoxious. If you don't think it does, fine, but plenty of people here are telling you that it does. And I'm someone whose family doesn't "do" a lot of things and have never used that phrase.

Surely your child can drink soda, though. If you're not letting her drink soda, that's different from "she doesn't drink soda." And there's really no way to push back against someone who's offering something without it being able to be interpreted as snooty.

I don't do high heels.
When my children were little, we didn't do screens. We still don't have a TV. OTOH, we eat more sugar than we should, and there are plenty of families who don't do refined sugar and do do screens. If you're taking offense, I think you're looking for something to be offended about.

Are you really this obtuse? I didn't say she CAN'T drink soda, I said she DOESN'T drink soda, which is a true statement.

Also, absolutely no offense taken. I don't care what you do or don't do, but I do think you're obnoxious if you use that phrase. Not offended at all, it just makes me not want to hang out with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend didn't "do" a lot of things. Her kids were fairly clueless with groups of kids.

I personally try not to use snotty, pretentious phrases.

If someone offered ds a soda for example, I said "he doesn't get soda."

"he doesn't get soda" is just as snooty and pretentious as "he doesn't do soda." "Our family doesn't drink soda" is just as snooty as "we don't do soda."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

Make a statement that doesn't imply looking down your nose on other's who don't make the same choice as you.

You can say "We're limiting screen time." or "We're holding off on electronics until she's older" or "No electronics, please" Or "No thank you"

I'm a NP and this is ridiculous. "We don't do tablets" means the family doesn't use tablets. It's literally a statement of fact-- you're just defensive. There is nothing a person could say that would have a 100% success rate of being understood AND not offending others, so please don't act like there is. If I say "She doesn't use tablets," people think she just hasn't YET, and it's okay to offer. If I say "we don't allow tablets," (in a context where one isn't being offered, but as a response to "what's her favorite iPad game?" or something), that's kind of inaccurate, because I don't so much "disallow" them as, yes, simply "not do" them. I'm not saying "No," it's just not something we "do." I could go on and on. Even saying, "No, thank you," to an offer tends to invite more questions. We're all doing the best we can when forced to make these (usually apologetic) declarations. The idea that you have the One True Correct Way to Say It is laughable.

I'm the PP that you are responding to. I think you're being obtuse. I think you don't know what the colloquialism "We don't do..." means.

In response to your comment above, then say "We don't use tablets." There's a difference between "use" and "do".

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I%20don%27t%20do

Urban Dictionary wrote:i don't do
When you're too good to do something. Refusing to do a certain task, or wear a certain type of clothing because it is beneath you.
I don't do flats. They're trashy.

I don't do garbage. Save it for someone else.
#refuse#i dont do#hate#garbgage#refusal

The implication is that whatever you are describing is beneath you, and so are the people who allow their children to "do" that.

So, use proper English and avoid the stupid phrase "We don't do..." and use the correct phrase "We don't use...", "We don't eat/drink..." etc.

Yikes, I have probably said that we “don’t do tv/screens” because I think “don’t allow” sounds judgey. Guess I was wrong.

You're going to treat Urban Dictionary as the final authority?
And a definition written a decade ago?
As if language doesn't evolve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, really, "We don't do X" = Looking down your nose at people who do? Sure, if making literally any choice and acknowledging that fact = thinking everyone who makes a different choice is an idiot. Makes perfect sense.

It's the "we don't DO" that's annoying. If someone offered my four-year old a soda I'd say, she doesn't drink soda. Because she doesn't. But we don't do soda just sounds obnoxious. If you don't think it does, fine, but plenty of people here are telling you that it does. And I'm someone whose family doesn't "do" a lot of things and have never used that phrase.

Surely your child can drink soda, though. If you're not letting her drink soda, that's different from "she doesn't drink soda." And there's really no way to push back against someone who's offering something without it being able to be interpreted as snooty.

I don't do high heels.
When my children were little, we didn't do screens. We still don't have a TV. OTOH, we eat more sugar than we should, and there are plenty of families who don't do refined sugar and do do screens. If you're taking offense, I think you're looking for something to be offended about.

Are you really this obtuse? I didn't say she CAN'T drink soda, I said she DOESN'T drink soda, which is a true statement.

Also, absolutely no offense taken. I don't care what you do or don't do, but I do think you're obnoxious if you use that phrase. Not offended at all, it just makes me not want to hang out with you.

Using the "don't do" phrase allows people to filter judge-y people out of their lives.

People who filter by the "don't do" phrase allows them to hang with perfect grammarians.

Win win!

[Anonymous]

Or, OR..just hear me out... maybe everything doesn't have to be stated as some sort of stand on an issue. Perhaps, if someone offers your child juice, and you don't want him to have any you could say, "No, thank you. I'll grab him some water." OR, even better, you could relax every so often and let your kid have a juicebox at a birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I post this? At a 3yr old birthday today my friend had on a Batman shirt, and was pretending to be Batman and I mentioned how my son is obsessed with Batman right now and one of the moms quickly said “oh we don’t do super heroes, we stick to pbs, I hope this doesn’t limit his play with the other children.”

There are cartoon super heroes on pbs.

Word Girl is the BEST!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

Make a statement that doesn't imply looking down your nose on other's who don't make the same choice as you.

You can say "We're limiting screen time." or "We're holding off on electronics until she's older" or "No electronics, please" Or "No thank you"

I'm a NP and this is ridiculous. "We don't do tablets" means the family doesn't use tablets. It's literally a statement of fact-- you're just defensive. There is nothing a person could say that would have a 100% success rate of being understood AND not offending others, so please don't act like there is. If I say "She doesn't use tablets," people think she just hasn't YET, and it's okay to offer. If I say "we don't allow tablets," (in a context where one isn't being offered, but as a response to "what's her favorite iPad game?" or something), that's kind of inaccurate, because I don't so much "disallow" them as, yes, simply "not do" them. I'm not saying "No," it's just not something we "do." I could go on and on. Even saying, "No, thank you," to an offer tends to invite more questions. We're all doing the best we can when forced to make these (usually apologetic) declarations. The idea that you have the One True Correct Way to Say It is laughable.

I'm the PP that you are responding to. I think you're being obtuse. I think you don't know what the colloquialism "We don't do..." means.

In response to your comment above, then say "We don't use tablets." There's a difference between "use" and "do".

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I%20don%27t%20do

Urban Dictionary wrote:i don't do
When you're too good to do something. Refusing to do a certain task, or wear a certain type of clothing because it is beneath you.
I don't do flats. They're trashy.

I don't do garbage. Save it for someone else.
#refuse#i dont do#hate#garbgage#refusal

The implication is that whatever you are describing is beneath you, and so are the people who allow their children to "do" that.

So, use proper English and avoid the stupid phrase "We don't do..." and use the correct phrase "We don't use...", "We don't eat/drink..." etc.

Yikes, I have probably said that we “don’t do tv/screens” because I think “don’t allow” sounds judgey. Guess I was wrong.

You're going to treat Urban Dictionary as the final authority?
And a definition written a decade ago?
As if language doesn't evolve?

Just look at this thread. Clearly quite a few people still have the colloquial understanding above, even if the entry is 9 years old.

You can use this stupid and grammatically incorrect phrase, but if you do, use it with the understanding that there are still a lot of people who will assume you are being judgmental and condescending. If that's not what you want to convey, choose a different phrase. Or be prepared for people to think differently of you do. Yes, language evolves, but this phrase has not lost that meaning yet to a significant portion of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or, OR..just hear me out... maybe everything doesn't have to be stated as some sort of stand on an issue. Perhaps, if someone offers your child juice, and you don't want him to have any you could say, "No, thank you. I'll grab him some water." OR, even better, you could relax every so often and let your kid have a juicebox at a birthday party.

This.

“We don’t do” just sounds so rigid and controlling.

[Anonymous]

For PP who loves PBS and is looking for super heroes....old school Electric Company has spider man on it! And he was awesome!
But there’s also Super Why, which is great.

As a soin-off, we can talk about all the people who “do” things. Like all the Etsy wall signs that say “in this house, we do forgiveness, we do kindness, we do smiles....”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds so pretentious. “We don’t do juice.” “We don’t do malls.” “We don’t do tablets.” It’s always said by parents with kids 5 and under too. For example if someone asked me if my kids liked pop tarts I would just respond “oh they haven’t tried them yet.” Instead of saying “We don’t do pop tarts.”

It’s less pretentious than “I don’t give my kids juice” or “I don’t take my kids to malls.”[/quote

No, it sounds much MORE pretentious.

I don't give my kid's X means you made a choice not to give them X.

We (almost like the royal "we") don't do X is a statement that not only means you don't give your child X, but it implies that X is distasteful and you don't agree with others giving X either. The height of pretension. Not only a statement, but a judgment of others who do.

"We don't do tablets" means that not only do these parents not allow their children tablets but they disagree with screen time for children. It's a judgmental and boorish phrase.

I'm looking for alternative statements. Should I just say, "We are trying our best not to expose our child to games on phones or other devices"? Then, should I pick different friends if they don't put them away?

Please do, so the rest of us can reply that we don't do pinterest wanna be crunchy mom bloggers, and ask you to stop befriending us.

Sure, say that. Or say that your kid doesn't play with them.

I think "we don't do" has a super snooty air to it, but I could be wrong. I'll have to listen carefully the next time it's said. I think, however, that it's only been said in a snooty tone so far to my ears.

[Anonymous]

It’s a dumb expression, but it is probably how they think about it themselves. For some of us, it’s easier to just draw a bright line around challenging behaviors (food, sleep, screens) and make it part of our identity.

“I am a person who does not drink juice or soda nor gives it to my kid.” This gets shortened to the irritating turn of phrase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend didn't "do" a lot of things. Her kids were fairly clueless with groups of kids.

I personally try not to use snotty, pretentious phrases.

If someone offered ds a soda for example, I said "he doesn't get soda."

It's kind of hilarious that I grew up drinking soda with my friends--our parents used to bring coolers full of orange Crush and Mountain Dew as part of post-soccer game snacks, but the thought of soda even being offered to a child sounds so absurd today. What would y'all do if I rolled onto a soccer field with some Coca Cola? lol, just kidding I'm not rude. Sometimes it's not just the person who says "we don't do..." but it's also the person who presumes that someone else's kid would eat/drink/play the way their kids do. If one parent offers and another says, "no thank you," don't take it as an indictment against your own parenting.

Now I'm craving an Orange Crush (and it's been years!).

Pp you quoted.

Mine couldn't have sugar and dye before it was the cool thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I post this? At a 3yr old birthday today my friend had on a Batman shirt, and was pretending to be Batman and I mentioned how my son is obsessed with Batman right now and one of the moms quickly said “oh we don’t do super heroes, we stick to pbs, I hope this doesn’t limit his play with the other children.”

There are cartoon super heroes on pbs.

Word Girl is the BEST!

We don't do cartoon super heroes. Just real heroes. Like fireman.