Husband threatening to bail out of summer vacation unless I "make an effort"

[Anonymous]

She needs no diagnosis to explain this. Driving requires skill and confidence, of which she has none of for this task. That is ALL..she is not a driver, she is not the only one, and she should not drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re being a complete brat. I don’t really enjoy driving either, especially in unfamiliar places or big cities, but no one really does. It’s completely unfair for you to expect ALL of the driving responsibilities to fall on your DH. Get it together. You’re an adult, act like it. “But OMG I hit a pole because I am just sooooooo clumsy!!!” is not an excuse, princess.

So many assholes. So many..yeah, asshole she doesn't want to drive and it is NOT a crime. It is not a duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being a complete brat. I don’t really enjoy driving either, especially in unfamiliar places or big cities, but no one really does. It’s completely unfair for you to expect ALL of the driving responsibilities to fall on your DH. Get it together. You’re an adult, act like it. “But OMG I hit a pole because I am just sooooooo clumsy!!!” is not an excuse, princess.

So many assholes. So many..yeah, asshole she doesn't want to drive and it is NOT a crime. It is not a duty.

+1 That said, it's perfectly in her DH's right to say that driving 100% of the time is not a good vacation. However, he should have spoken up earlier before she shelled out all that $ for the vacation. OP maybe you can rejigger your schedule so that you stay in urban areas of Europe so you can do something more walkable/that involves public transit.

[Anonymous]

Take the driving lessons, then tell him to stay home.

I don't understand what one has to do with the other.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry people are jumping down your throat, OP. It's hard to learn to drive as an adult.
My thoughts:
1. Get your eyes checked and tell them you have trouble driving..they might want to test your depth perception
2. Find a Dr at your University and talk to them about an OT evaluation
3. Sign up for driving lessons with a really good company like the ones run by Police Officers
4. Do you have Anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you’re not a safe driver. Your DH is being short sighted and kind of a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry people are jumping down your throat, OP. It's hard to learn to drive as an adult.
My thoughts:
1. Get your eyes checked and tell them you have trouble driving..they might want to test your depth perception
2. Find a Dr at your University and talk to them about an OT evaluation
3. Sign up for driving lessons with a really good company like the ones run by Police Officers
4. Do you have Anxiety?

Thank you. I'm making appointments for a vision check and referral now. As for anxiety, I've never received a diagnosis but that's also an issue for me when I drive. The heart palpitations and freaking out when my husband starts manhandling the wheel from the passenger seat. I have seen several counsellors for my 'driving anxiety' and they tell me I just need to practice more. I didn't know one could test for depth perception so that's really helpful. I always overestimate how far I am from the curb.

[Anonymous]

Op, what's the reasoning behind your inability to help with navigation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being a complete brat. I don’t really enjoy driving either, especially in unfamiliar places or big cities, but no one really does. It’s completely unfair for you to expect ALL of the driving responsibilities to fall on your DH. Get it together. You’re an adult, act like it. “But OMG I hit a pole because I am just sooooooo clumsy!!!” is not an excuse, princess.

So many assholes. So many..yeah, asshole she doesn't want to drive and it is NOT a crime. It is not a duty.

It is not a duty for him to cart her a** around everywhere and run all the errands because princess refuses to drive, either.

[Anonymous]

I thought this was going to be about your appearance. I agree with your DH you should try to make more of an effort to learn how to drive safely. He has probably been pushing you to do this and you just don’t, so he thinks he has some leverage with the vacation. You should already have been trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being a complete brat. I don’t really enjoy driving either, especially in unfamiliar places or big cities, but no one really does. It’s completely unfair for you to expect ALL of the driving responsibilities to fall on your DH. Get it together. You’re an adult, act like it. “But OMG I hit a pole because I am just sooooooo clumsy!!!” is not an excuse, princess.

So many assholes. So many..yeah, asshole she doesn't want to drive and it is NOT a crime. It is not a duty.

It is not a duty for him to cart her a** around everywhere and run all the errands because princess refuses to drive, either.

It’s also not her responsibility to make sure “he” has food in the house or a host of other things. Sounds like she takes care of personal care and similar so he’s not “carting her around”.

Partnerships are successful such that each person carries the weight of what they can bear. I trust OP is doing things that her DH does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong side of the road is British Isles only. Good God PP, don't drive in France or Germany.

Why not? I always had an easier time of driving in Europe than I do over here. The drivers are much more courteous.

Where was this Europe? Canada?

[Anonymous]

I learned how to ride a motorcycle at 30. I learned to drive at 16. At 30, I remarked how it was a good thing I learned to drive at 16. Young and stupid is a good time to learn to drive. You really have no idea how dangerous driving a car really is. By the time you can recognize it, you’ve been doing it so long that it’s no big deal.

I’m on your team OP. If you’re not comfortable driving, I don’t think you should have to. But you also can’t inconvenience anyone else because you can’t drive. My best friend married a blind man—he really can’t drive . They were in their late 20s when they married. By then he had figured out a system of transportation that worked for him. She would always drive if the family was going someplace. But is perfectly capable of calling a cab or uber and stopping at the grocery store on the way home. He has a standing car that takes him to work every day. And on date night, he has UberLux pick then up—yes she could drive to the restaurant in their car, but this is something he does for her.

All this is my way of saying, you don’t have to drive and you shouldn’t if you don’t feel comfortable but you can’t burden others.

[Anonymous]

So let me get this right, this OP's DH is an jerk who is not understanding her driving issues? And DH who is retired military and sits around while his wife has had enough of his lazy non earning crap is also a jerk? Hmm...

[Anonymous]

Folks, OP feels unsafe as a driver on the roads. Isn’t this one of the number one complaint from many confident drivers - that some people shouldn’t be driving?

I’m not sure who the troll brigade is today, or why they’ve picked this thread, but the problem is OPs DH, who is being a jerk, not OP, who is actually being safe by not driving.