Are dead bedrooms inevitable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! So choreplay is what gets panties wet? The previous women posters, sexually attracted to males all around (except for dear hubby), you think strange men have been getting them hot by washing dishes and vacuuming? Oh, wait. So those ladies just dying for an open marriage, they can get horny for random d$ck (choreplay not required) but the HUSBAND turns her right off... unless he does enough dishes!! And if I’m not mistaken, several women on this thread bluntly admitted their husbands pull their weight and still they weren’t interested.

Sorry I’m not buying your tale, sex therapist. Here’s an idea: men, if wife’s not interested, inform her not to wait up on Friday nights: from now on you will be out on sex dates. Boom, problem solved.

NP here. I'm a woman, and I think the sex therapist is wrong. I do believe that it can be a marital/relationship issue if there is an imbalance in who does chores, but I don't think it has anything to do with sexual attraction. In fact, I've known women who stay with men who do NO chores, do not help, and are even borderline abusive, but the women stay because the sex is great and they are (who knows why) sexually attracted to the guy (even though he's a jerk).

I don't think sexual attraction is rational, but all of these threads try to make it into that.

I think the larger problem is that a lot of women marry men they aren't that into sexually because they are marrying for other things (stability, good provider, whatever). In the beginning, the lack of sexual attraction isn't as evident because the newness of it all can at least spur sexual curiosity (which people can confuse as attraction). But that passes.

I honestly think that sexual attraction should be seen as equally important as other factors when deciding whether to marry someone. No, it shouldn't be the only thing, but I think too many women discount it. Then later they blame low libido. Yet those same women are still ready that stupid however many Shades of Grey novel and going to see Magic Mike XL, so obviously they have a libido.

[Anonymous]

Sex therapist here. I see the truth has ruffled feathers judging by the length of the response some nonentity wrote upthread. Someone has time to read that wall of text, but that someone isn’t me. Suffice to say you just have to deal with what I wrote. Good luck in your sexless marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex therapist here. I see the truth has ruffled feathers judging by the length of the response some nonentity wrote upthread. Someone has time to read that wall of text, but that someone isn’t me. Suffice to say you just have to deal with what I wrote. Good luck in your sexless marriages.

Hi fake sex therapist. You sure seem to have time to write insulting condescending nonsense that reads like it was written by a bitter lonely hag striking out a men for ignoring her. You have plenty of time. In fact you know you read it. Hence your retreat from pompous ass to mouse. My post has far more truth to it than yours. No ruffled feather I thought your silly little post was funny. Not as funny as mine. Therapist, lol, you are funny. PS i can walk, chew gum and out think you at the same time you silly little fake therapist you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! So choreplay is what gets panties wet? The previous women posters, sexually attracted to males all around (except for dear hubby), you think strange men have been getting them hot by washing dishes and vacuuming? Oh, wait. So those ladies just dying for an open marriage, they can get horny for random d$ck (choreplay not required) but the HUSBAND turns her right off... unless he does enough dishes!! And if I’m not mistaken, several women on this thread bluntly admitted their husbands pull their weight and still they weren’t interested.

Sorry I’m not buying your tale, sex therapist. Here’s an idea: men, if wife’s not interested, inform her not to wait up on Friday nights: from now on you will be out on sex dates. Boom, problem solved.

NP here. I'm a woman, and I think the sex therapist is wrong. I do believe that it can be a marital/relationship issue if there is an imbalance in who does chores, but I don't think it has anything to do with sexual attraction. In fact, I've known women who stay with men who do NO chores, do not help, and are even borderline abusive, but the women stay because the sex is great and they are (who knows why) sexually attracted to the guy (even though he's a jerk).

I don't think sexual attraction is rational, but all of these threads try to make it into that.

I think the larger problem is that a lot of women marry men they aren't that into sexually because they are marrying for other things (stability, good provider, whatever). In the beginning, the lack of sexual attraction isn't as evident because the newness of it all can at least spur sexual curiosity (which people can confuse as attraction). But that passes.

I honestly think that sexual attraction should be seen as equally important as other factors when deciding whether to marry someone. No, it shouldn't be the only thing, but I think too many women discount it. Then later they blame low libido. Yet those same women are still ready that stupid however many Shades of Grey novel and going to see Magic Mike XL, so obviously they have a libido.

She is not a therapist, she is just a bitter creature. She should actually be ashamed of herself for holding herself out as a therapist and advising people.

[Anonymous]

The "therapist" must be a really bad therapist or she would know for sex to be good a woman has to inspire good sex, not just be available. I am not a therapist but if a woman doesnt take ownership of her own sex life and inspire a man she will be the "pulled pork sandwich" written about in the post tearing up the "therapist". Take ownership of your sex life people and be a person your partner would want to have good sex with, expect nothing "just because".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The “problem” is that men are limited creatures. A woman can be passionate and fun, while also working hard at a job, and be good mother and pull more than her fair share of the weight around the house. A man, however, cannot walk and chew gum. The men who bring home good checks think that exempts them from housework. The men who are good in bed think they should get to be assholes. A man who does even a little close to his fair share and is a devoted father will let himself get fat and will be resentful that he is so put-upon.

The result is that men are overall unattractive creatures. The trade-offs a woman has to make for a good, stable man are many. Over time, the resentment and tedium associated with being with such a limited creature will wear on the wife. And nothing brings home what lazy, overall selfish creatures men are than having children and watching these goons shirk.

A dead bed is the result in many cases of lack of desire due to anger and lack of respect that result when one half of a couple is really doing only 3/10 things, at most, needed to make the family and relationship work. Men would rather die than face this because facing it would require rising to the occasion every day and they don’t want to.

—Sex therapist

So, there should be no such thing as lesbian bed death? I'll pass on your explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! So choreplay is what gets panties wet? The previous women posters, sexually attracted to males all around (except for dear hubby), you think strange men have been getting them hot by washing dishes and vacuuming? Oh, wait. So those ladies just dying for an open marriage, they can get horny for random d$ck (choreplay not required) but the HUSBAND turns her right off... unless he does enough dishes!! And if I’m not mistaken, several women on this thread bluntly admitted their husbands pull their weight and still they weren’t interested.

Sorry I’m not buying your tale, sex therapist. Here’s an idea: men, if wife’s not interested, inform her not to wait up on Friday nights: from now on you will be out on sex dates. Boom, problem solved.

Studies show aggression and dominance get the greatest arousal response. Not physical but going after what you want decisively. The idea dish will do it stupid that pity sex, not arousal. The easiest and surest way to get/keep them on board is other women hover, may be the threat of another woman (woman actually hate each other and want to out do each other) or the fact woman always want what they think other women want.

I'm not sex therapist, but I agree (woman!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! So choreplay is what gets panties wet? The previous women posters, sexually attracted to males all around (except for dear hubby), you think strange men have been getting them hot by washing dishes and vacuuming? Oh, wait. So those ladies just dying for an open marriage, they can get horny for random d$ck (choreplay not required) but the HUSBAND turns her right off... unless he does enough dishes!! And if I’m not mistaken, several women on this thread bluntly admitted their husbands pull their weight and still they weren’t interested.

Sorry I’m not buying your tale, sex therapist. Here’s an idea: men, if wife’s not interested, inform her not to wait up on Friday nights: from now on you will be out on sex dates. Boom, problem solved.

Studies show aggression and dominance get the greatest arousal response. Not physical but going after what you want decisively. The idea dish will do it stupid that pity sex, not arousal. The easiest and surest way to get/keep them on board is other women hover, may be the threat of another woman (woman actually hate each other and want to out do each other) or the fact woman always want what they think other women want.

I'm not sex therapist, but I agree (woman!)

I agree thats why the nice guy turns to a resource provider and nothing more so often. There was a study turned movie called the science of sex. It is very interesting and the longest ongoing study done. The original full version is very long the US version was on cable but cut down a lot. Interestingly the US version cut out the part about womans response to dominate and aggressive men and complete lack of interest sexually in nice "soft" guys.

[Anonymous]

I agree the "sex therapist" is fake. Also offers really bad advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree the "sex therapist" is fake. Also offers really bad advice.

It really is funny she thinks she will pass a therapist. Her advice reads like jilted anger person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree the "sex therapist" is fake. Also offers really bad advice.

The "choreplay gets women hot" theory has been thoroughly debunked globally. At best, choreplay (might) help ensure the woman isn't resentfully avoiding sex. But that is merely avoiding the brakes, not hitting the gas pedal. While it's better when she doesn't have an obvious reason to say NO, she still needs some compelling reason to say YES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the way, what I wrote above is why chores are so important in a relationship. For 99% of women, as respect for the man dies, so does sexual desire. Pulling your weight around the house, showing initiative, and parenting (instead of acting like a mother’s helper) are all ways of earning back a wife’s respect.

When women come to me complaining their husbands have lost desire, I advise losing weight, dressing better, spicing up the bedroom, getting some fun hobbies to share with DH. And they listen. When men come to me complaining their wife gives them the same look she gives moldy bread, I ask them how the balance of work is around the house. Those who make excuses get told I am not taking on new clients. Those who respond honestly get to brainstorm a list of ways in which they can help out more. After doing that, we discuss how to approach a woman in a masculine, sexy way. The day your wife wakes up to a clean kitchen with you vacuuming and the kids taken care of, she will realize she has free time and those panties will be wet.

—Sex therapist

BS
Wife is SAHM, I make decent money and I am in great shape 6'1" with a 6 pack and a full head of hair. We were sexless for a couple years, I tried chore play She would come down in the morning house vacuumed, floors mopped, spent all my free time with the kids so she would have a break. None of that worked. It wasn't until I told her I was leaving did she get her libido back. I went back to being more dominate and she told me this is what she always wanted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the way, what I wrote above is why chores are so important in a relationship. For 99% of women, as respect for the man dies, so does sexual desire. Pulling your weight around the house, showing initiative, and parenting (instead of acting like a mother’s helper) are all ways of earning back a wife’s respect.

When women come to me complaining their husbands have lost desire, I advise losing weight, dressing better, spicing up the bedroom, getting some fun hobbies to share with DH. And they listen. When men come to me complaining their wife gives them the same look she gives moldy bread, I ask them how the balance of work is around the house. Those who make excuses get told I am not taking on new clients. Those who respond honestly get to brainstorm a list of ways in which they can help out more. After doing that, we discuss how to approach a woman in a masculine, sexy way. The day your wife wakes up to a clean kitchen with you vacuuming and the kids taken care of, she will realize she has free time and those panties will be wet.

—Sex therapist

These are old sexist stereotypes. If you have sexual desire, you have it. You might be tired but you still wake up at 5:00 in the morning with the urge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! So choreplay is what gets panties wet? The previous women posters, sexually attracted to males all around (except for dear hubby), you think strange men have been getting them hot by washing dishes and vacuuming? Oh, wait. So those ladies just dying for an open marriage, they can get horny for random d$ck (choreplay not required) but the HUSBAND turns her right off... unless he does enough dishes!! And if I’m not mistaken, several women on this thread bluntly admitted their husbands pull their weight and still they weren’t interested.

Sorry I’m not buying your tale, sex therapist. Here’s an idea: men, if wife’s not interested, inform her not to wait up on Friday nights: from now on you will be out on sex dates. Boom, problem solved.

Studies show aggression and dominance get the greatest arousal response. Not physical but going after what you want decisively. The idea dish will do it stupid that pity sex, not arousal. The easiest and surest way to get/keep them on board is other women hover, may be the threat of another woman (woman actually hate each other and want to out do each other) or the fact woman always want what they think other women want.

I'm not sex therapist, but I agree (woman!)

Yep, an intelligent, fit, and sensual man who is confident has his pick of the litter. It's about that confidence. They know how to go after their target. Look at some of the sexiest actors, they are not the most attractive but all have dominant personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree the "sex therapist" is fake. Also offers really bad advice.

It really is funny she thinks she will pass a therapist. Her advice reads like jilted anger person.

A really lame attempt at trolling.