just realized my DH is probably asexual: so sad and angry. It is hopeless right?

[Anonymous]

Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

Totally agree with all of this,

Signed,
A high drive person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Op, you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

So low drive people have to shut up and be quiet? Yes, because your diatribes against low drive people add so much to the thread...

You seem angry. Maybe go jerk off or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

So low drive people have to shut up and be quiet? Yes, because your diatribes against low drive people add so much to the thread...

You seem angry. Maybe go jerk off or something

No, you sound angry. Stop making this about you. Telling the op that she should just throw in the towel and hope that she doesn't miss sex or intimacy a few decades down the road is absurd. It's normal to want to have sex with your husband. The op has every right to be concerned and upset. This forum is filled with miserable people whose spouses have disengaged. Why? Because you can't have a happy marriage is one partner is unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Surprise him in the shower. I am serious. Nothing like spontaneity in a confined space to reawaken that libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

So low drive people have to shut up and be quiet? Yes, because your diatribes against low drive people add so much to the thread...

You seem angry. Maybe go jerk off or something

No, you sound angry. Stop making this about you. Telling the op that she should just throw in the towel and hope that she doesn't miss sex or intimacy a few decades down the road is absurd. It's normal to want to have sex with your husband. The op has every right to be concerned and upset. This forum is filled with miserable people whose spouses have disengaged. Why? Because you can't have a happy marriage is one partner is unhappy.

God. Invest in a flashlight dude. I am not the OP you responded to. But you really, really need to chill, and stop spewing venom over the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Surprise him in the shower. I am serious. Nothing like spontaneity in a confined space to reawaken that libido.

Sounds kind of rapey, especially if you know he doesn't want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

So low drive people have to shut up and be quiet? Yes, because your diatribes against low drive people add so much to the thread...

You seem angry. Maybe go jerk off or something

No, you sound angry. Stop making this about you. Telling the op that she should just throw in the towel and hope that she doesn't miss sex or intimacy a few decades down the road is absurd. It's normal to want to have sex with your husband. The op has every right to be concerned and upset. This forum is filled with miserable people whose spouses have disengaged. Why? Because you can't have a happy marriage is one partner is unhappy.

God. Invest in a flashlight dude. I am not the OP you responded to. But you really, really need to chill, and stop spewing venom over the thread.

NP here. It's great that two low drive people were able to find each other. But how does that help the OP who is not low drive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

So low drive people have to shut up and be quiet? Yes, because your diatribes against low drive people add so much to the thread...

You seem angry. Maybe go jerk off or something

No, you sound angry. Stop making this about you. Telling the op that she should just throw in the towel and hope that she doesn't miss sex or intimacy a few decades down the road is absurd. It's normal to want to have sex with your husband. The op has every right to be concerned and upset. This forum is filled with miserable people whose spouses have disengaged. Why? Because you can't have a happy marriage is one partner is unhappy.

God. Invest in a flashlight dude. I am not the OP you responded to. But you really, really need to chill, and stop spewing venom over the thread.

NP here. It's great that two low drive people were able to find each other. But how does that help the OP who is not low drive?

Who are the two low drive people? Are you referring to yourself?

[Anonymous]

It will make Op even more resentful, IMHO, to "work" for it when he's not interested AT ALL. It's humiliating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

for what it's worth, my husband has a low sex drive and doesn't need to ejaculate very often, and certainly less than once a week. It's been like this for years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and a tiny house and spend days on end together with every minute accounted for: so it IS physically possible.

However I am happy with the low sex drive because mine is even lower.

I am very sorry you are not well-matched in that regard, and I hope you can explore other ways to regain intimacy in your marriage. It doesn't need to come from sex, and all the people telling you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage clearly haven't given it much thought.

No offense, but anyone with a normal sex drive doesn't really care what a low sex drive person thinks about sex. Just because you are content in a sexless marriage doesn't mean that others should settle for that. Most people need sex. Period. If your partner can't or won't engage, then you'll need to get it elsewhere. Coparent and have an open marriage? Once you find a real lover you can plan your escape.

I am a normal drive person, and I absolutely care what a low drive person thinks. What is wrong with you?

Are you a normal drive 35 year old woman in a sexless marriage? How is it helpful to hear from a low drive person who isn't interested in sex and is relieved that her husband isn't either? She doesn't want to have sex with her husband, while the op does. Apples and watermelons.

The bottom line is that you really can't sustain a truly happy marriage if one person isn't satisfied.

So low drive people have to shut up and be quiet? Yes, because your diatribes against low drive people add so much to the thread...

You seem angry. Maybe go jerk off or something

No, you sound angry. Stop making this about you. Telling the op that she should just throw in the towel and hope that she doesn't miss sex or intimacy a few decades down the road is absurd. It's normal to want to have sex with your husband. The op has every right to be concerned and upset. This forum is filled with miserable people whose spouses have disengaged. Why? Because you can't have a happy marriage is one partner is unhappy.

God. Invest in a flashlight dude. I am not the OP you responded to. But you really, really need to chill, and stop spewing venom over the thread.

NP here. It's great that two low drive people were able to find each other. But how does that help the OP who is not low drive?

Who are the two low drive people? Are you referring to yourself?

Um, read the passage you quoted. See the first post? It's from a low drive woman who is relieved that her husband has an even lower drive than she does. That's nice that two people who don't want to have sex found each other, but it's not relevant to the OP's situation at all since she actually likes sex and wants to have a normal marriage that includes regular sex.