Mothers of boys only (aka daughterless moms)- what's it like?

[Anonymous]

I have two boys and they have been a lot of fun - I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I sometimes see moms with their daughters getting manicures together, going to see chick flicks together, clothes shopping, etc. And at times I feel a little envious.

But I also see some of the stress that daughters put their moms through...and I'm glad I don't have that (or at least that level of stress) with my boys. I think boys are easier. And fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Daughterless moms" is there nothing we women cannot find to be martyrs about. STUPID, STUPID!!!! How about "Stop the damn whining and be grateful for the son(s) you were given.

OP, et al, I have more sympathy/empathy for "sonless dad's."

Why?? My SIL is much closer to their dad than my DH is. She fishes, golfs and played all the sports. I don't see sons getting manicures or shopping with their moms or planning their weddings together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

+1 and you are not the first person to think of this PP.

"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life"

-Old Irish saying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

According to my mother, this is very true, especially once the grandkids come along. She says that it is very different when your daughter has babies v DILs having babies. And she gets along with her DILs, but it isn't the same as with me and, for better or worse, women are often the gatekeepers to the grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

+1 and you are not the first person to think of this PP.

"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life"

-Old Irish saying

That may be true in general, but as someone who moved to DC to be near DH's family, I love my MIL and probably see her and talk to her more than my own mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

According to my mother, this is very true, especially once the grandkids come along. She says that it is very different when your daughter has babies v DILs having babies. And she gets along with her DILs, but it isn't the same as with me and, for better or worse, women are often the gatekeepers to the grandkids.

As always, everything depends on the individuals and their relationships. I get along much better with my MIL than with my own mother, so my MIL has a better relationship with the grandkids than my mom.

[Anonymous]

"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter for all your life"

-old Irish saying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

According to my mother, this is very true, especially once the grandkids come along. She says that it is very different when your daughter has babies v DILs having babies. And she gets along with her DILs, but it isn't the same as with me and, for better or worse, women are often the gatekeepers to the grandkids.

As always, everything depends on the individuals and their relationships. I get along much better with my MIL than with my own mother, so my MIL has a better relationship with the grandkids than my mom.

Sure. Just talking in generalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious if anyone anymore is ever disappointed they are having a girl, because they so wanted a boy. I literally never hear this, only mourning over having a boy. It's really interesting to me.

Don't worry. Millions of Indian, Korean and Chinese mothers feel this way. I don't know if any speak up on dcum about it though.

I know of at least three people IRL who admitted they were sad to be having girls (Disney Ate My Daughter; drama; mean girl stuff; expensive clothes. cyberbullying; easting disorders; sexual assault). It definitely goes both ways. And obviously, everyone winds up loving their kids regardless of sex or gender!

I also know of several moms who were disappointed to have girls. But like PP said, somehow DCUM finds that less socially acceptable to post.

[Anonymous]

Oops. Sorry for the repeated post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Daughterless moms" is there nothing we women cannot find to be martyrs about. STUPID, STUPID!!!! How about "Stop the damn whining and be grateful for the son(s) you were given.

OP, et al, I have more sympathy/empathy for "sonless dad's."

Why?? My SIL is much closer to their dad than my DH is. She fishes, golfs and played all the sports. I don't see sons getting manicures or shopping with their moms or planning their weddings together.

I was being facetious about the "sonless dad's." that is a ridiculous as "daughterless moms." what's next, "
Grandchildrenless grandparents"?

[Anonymous]

Two boys here, although with the second one I was told I was carrying a girl.

I wouldn't have the patience for a girly girl if I had one. I don't "do" hair, etc.

I don't know that I'm missing anything relationship wise. I can honestly say my mom is one of my best friends, but I don't need that with my sons. I have a great relationship with the younger one. The oldest has issues of his own.

When I was pregnant I was excited, thinking I would have a daughter. But now that I have two boys I can't imagine anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

+1 and you are not the first person to think of this PP.

"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life"

-Old Irish saying

In my family, the opposite is true. My brother lives 20 minutes away from my parents and sees them all the time. I'm across the world. My dad would see his mom weekly but my aunts rarely visited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.

The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too.

+1 and you are not the first person to think of this PP.

"A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life"

-Old Irish saying

That may be true in general, but as someone who moved to DC to be near DH's family, I love my MIL and probably see her and talk to her more than my own mom.

+1, we moved to husband's hometown to be near his family after we had kids, my MIL keeps the kids for part of each day, and is far more involved in our lives than my own mother.

[Anonymous]

I also have one boy, by choice as I am younger.

He is mid-elementary aged now.

He is "all boy" and most of his friend are as well. Let me tell you, never ONCE did he or his friends decline baking cookies with me yet.

He is snuggly, and still holds my hand. Last night we walked outside after dinner and held hands some of the way. He is embarrassed when I just show up at school, but that's normal for any gender!

Personally, I enjoy what he enjoys. I like video games, I like to play Battleship, I like reading his books, and I like going to sports games and kicking the ball around. I might not feel the same way if I had daughters, but I find young girls too squawk-ey for my taste; I would rather yell "hey - be quiet and calm down!" during play instead of "stop your normal annoying voices and talking about princess role play games I don't care about!" Your mileage may vary.

I don't know if the trope is true that "boys love their moms" but mine does, and that seems to be typical to me.

I can't speak to the adult experience as my child is young, but I have a feeling if you foster closeness and are nice, your son will pick a nice partner and remain close to you.