Mothers of boys only (aka daughterless moms)- what's it like?
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Anonymous
| My pre-teen nieces (whom I adore, but would not want to parent) make me glad I have boys. I'll take the challenge of adolescent and teen boys over adolescent and teen girls any day of the week. |
Anonymous
| My son is just a baby right now, but he is so wonderful. I'm one of two girls so before I got pregnant I'd hoped to have two girls of my own. But i would not trade my son for anything. He's the absolute best. Congrats, OP! Your feelings are completely normal but I know you'll adore your son once he arrives. |
Anonymous
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I totally wanted a girl! I am AMA and it was an Ivf pg-so one and done. I recognized why I wanted a dd (felt I woukd understand her better, stereotypical girl activities, relationship with her later in life) and just let myself feel that way without judgement and hoped I would adjust. I had bouts of guilt, at times.
I felt disconnected from my child until I gave birth. Then I fell in love with my actual, real baby boy. He is beautiful, funny, and sweet. No thoughts of wishing he was a girl remain because if a girl was here I wouldn't have him, which is unthinkable. I couldn't care less that I have a son and not a daughter I simply love my child. The love is overwhelming, thanks biology! |
Anonymous
| I wanted a girl, was a bit sad when he wasn't, but now if we decide to have a second, I really want another boy. He is so much fun (also, he is exactly like me, even though he is a boy...). |
Anonymous
I have one of each too and my DS is still a baby. My friend told me that of course I will love my DD but there is something special about a little boy 
OP its okay to feel this way but you will be so happy no matter what. Enjoy your pregnancy! |
Anonymous
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OP - I also am the only girl with two brothers who are not all that interested in helping or caring for my parents. I wonder if the dynamic you describe is at least in part because your brothers know you will pick up the slack. My one brother has all but admitted that fact to me.
My DH is an only boy and he takes great care of his mother - there's no one else to do it! As a DIL, it's a little bit of a pain to have to deal with the guilt that if we don't see her for a holiday, she will be alone (my in-laws are divorced), but I have a lot of compassion for her, so I suck it up and treat her like I would want my own mother to be treated. Hopefully you have the same experience with your own kid, but that is so far down the road. Enjoy the little guy you have now! |
Anonymous
| I'm curious if anyone anymore is ever disappointed they are having a girl, because they so wanted a boy. I literally never hear this, only mourning over having a boy. It's really interesting to me. |
Anonymous
No one is assuming anything. OP said she's disappointed. Others have felt the same. |
Anonymous
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I think that it's normal to feel some disappointment that you will never have a daughter. From what I hear, it typically goes away once your son is actually born. You will form a tight mother -son relationship and enjoy that instead.
The one difference Between sons and daughters in my opinion, is when they leave the home, and when they get married. Then I feel like the mother-son relationship is severely diminished as the sons get sucked into their wife's family and lose the connections with their own. This doesn't happen so much with daughters. If you were close to your daughter before they got married you will be close afterwards too. |
Anonymous
Don't worry. Millions of Indian, Korean and Chinese mothers feel this way. I don't know if any speak up on dcum about it though. |
Anonymous
| OP, I only have a boy and I never really think about wanting a girl. We certainly don't go for pedicures or shopping, but we ride bikes, play board games, watch movies, do an art class together, and generally have a good time. I feel like he has encouraged me to try some new things (e.g. soccer) that I was never into before, and some of them I liked. |
Anonymous
I know of at least three people IRL who admitted they were sad to be having girls (Disney Ate My Daughter; drama; mean girl stuff; expensive clothes. cyberbullying; easting disorders; sexual assault). It definitely goes both ways. And obviously, everyone winds up loving their kids regardless of sex or gender! |
Anonymous
| The only bad thing about baby boys, OP, is that it is really hard to keep them from peeing all over you on the changing table. Keep a washcloth or "peepee teepee" handy! |
Anonymous
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"Daughterless moms" is there nothing we women cannot find to be martyrs about. STUPID, STUPID!!!! How about "Stop the damn whining and be grateful for the son(s) you were given.
OP, et al, I have more sympathy/empathy for "sonless dad's." |
Anonymous
| OP, don't forget you might get a DIL one day. I am very close to my MIL. We email and/or text everyday - even just a quick update or photo of the kids. We get pedicures together. Plan family parties, etc. |