Is it really that hard for women in their 30's to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only difficult for women who have unrealistic expectations of what they "deserve" in a potential spouse (looks, job, money, emotional stability, etc.)

If they are holding out for an A+ guy, they better be bringing an A+ package to the table.

This.

Very true. And unrealistically high standards may be the reason they're still single in their 30s in the first place.

I have several friends in their 30s/40s who are still single. They talk about how they will someday meet someone who is everything that they are looking for/throw out seriously crazy prerequisites. I think they would rather turn down every potential mate due to their lack of ability to meet their crazy standards, vs take the chance at getting hurt.

They must not like sex.

Being single does not equal being celibate.

To the rest, I'm on the tail end of my 30s and am currently pursuing having a child on my own, while dating. It takes the pressure off the guy to be all things and we can just enjoy getting to know each other.

This has to be the stupidest life strategy I've ever encountered. You've clearly never been around children if you think you can "enjoy getting to know" someone while pregnant or with a very young child. If you are pursuing having a child on your own, you should be comfortable with being out of the dating pool for at least two years because a pregnant woman or a mother of a very young child is at the very bottom of the dating market - not to mention too busy for dating, in all likelihood.

+ 1. Yes, this is really a very flawed approach on so many levels

[Anonymous]

21:37 - I don't know about "stupidest life strategy" but if that poster is serious about having a kid on her own, she will effectively be choosing a kid over a partner, at least for a few years.

Most of the women I know who chose to have a child on their own are still single and rarely date. Because there is only so much time in a day/week, and if you're spending a lot of it being both mother and father to a child, it doesn't leave much time for finding a guy or keeping a relationship going. If you're doing all the wake-ups and bedtimes, all the drop-offs and pickups, all the activities and homework and housework and still trying to stay in shape and see your friends once in awhile, you're collapsing into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, most of the time.

I pretty much put dating on the back-burner when I had my child, because the kind of parent I want to be (very active) does not really mesh with being out there all the time, trying to meet guys. I do have friends who have prioritized dating over their kids, and it makes me sad for the kids.

[Anonymous]

It's a pain no matter what age, but if you truly want to find someone at any age you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:37 - I don't know about "stupidest life strategy" but if that poster is serious about having a kid on her own, she will effectively be choosing a kid over a partner, at least for a few years.

Most of the women I know who chose to have a child on their own are still single and rarely date. Because there is only so much time in a day/week, and if you're spending a lot of it being both mother and father to a child, it doesn't leave much time for finding a guy or keeping a relationship going. If you're doing all the wake-ups and bedtimes, all the drop-offs and pickups, all the activities and homework and housework and still trying to stay in shape and see your friends once in awhile, you're collapsing into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, most of the time.

I pretty much put dating on the back-burner when I had my child, because the kind of parent I want to be (very active) does not really mesh with being out there all the time, trying to meet guys. I do have friends who have prioritized dating over their kids, and it makes me sad for the kids.

It's her last chance to have a child, so it's actually very smart. I will tell you once you're over 40 you see most of your friends divorced, but they thankful they have their families. The women I know who don't have kids regret it. You always have time to find a guy, but finite time to have your family. She'll also have grand-kids, that's for life and men have a shelf life due to divorce or death. I was pregnant and was dating, then got married and had another child with him. I was in my 30's so time was out, best decision I made. Waiting too long would be her worst mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You can date at any age, as long as you are cool with the reality that the age of the people you date goes up as well.

This doesn't apply to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Add to that that men in their mid-late 30s and are single/childless usually are in that predicament because they have Peter Pan Syndrome and don't particularly want to settle down and have kids or they're just total duds nobody else wanted, and there you have it.

Peter Pan Syndrome? I laffed.

We just don't want to get married. But you don't figure that out until you're making the walk of shame from the Metro back to your apt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single 39 year old here.

I've been looking to get married since I was 25. I am decent looking, thin, in ok shape, etc. Its not because I am too picky or becasue I don't want to get married to becasue I focused on my career. It's just really really hard to meet guys.

It's really really not. How are you "thin" and in "OK shape?" If you're thin, you're in great shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You can date at any age, as long as you are cool with the reality that the age of the people you date goes up as well.

This doesn't apply to men.

Really? I know men generally date younger, but even those "younger" women get older as the man gets older.

The classic Half Your Age Plus Seven rule illustrates this well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:37 - I don't know about "stupidest life strategy" but if that poster is serious about having a kid on her own, she will effectively be choosing a kid over a partner, at least for a few years.

Most of the women I know who chose to have a child on their own are still single and rarely date. Because there is only so much time in a day/week, and if you're spending a lot of it being both mother and father to a child, it doesn't leave much time for finding a guy or keeping a relationship going. If you're doing all the wake-ups and bedtimes, all the drop-offs and pickups, all the activities and homework and housework and still trying to stay in shape and see your friends once in awhile, you're collapsing into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, most of the time.

I pretty much put dating on the back-burner when I had my child, because the kind of parent I want to be (very active) does not really mesh with being out there all the time, trying to meet guys. I do have friends who have prioritized dating over their kids, and it makes me sad for the kids.

It's her last chance to have a child, so it's actually very smart. I will tell you once you're over 40 you see most of your friends divorced, but they thankful they have their families. The women I know who don't have kids regret it. You always have time to find a guy, but finite time to have your family. She'll also have grand-kids, that's for life and men have a shelf life due to divorce or death. I was pregnant and was dating, then got married and had another child with him. I was in my 30's so time was out, best decision I made. Waiting too long would be her worst mistake.

Women who can date while pregnant are an exception. Most quality guys will prefer an unencumbered woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Add to that that men in their mid-late 30s and are single/childless usually are in that predicament because they have Peter Pan Syndrome and don't particularly want to settle down and have kids or they're just total duds nobody else wanted, and there you have it.

Peter Pan Syndrome? I laffed.

We just don't want to get married. But you don't figure that out until you're making the walk of shame from the Metro back to your apt.

Please, I'm married so I don't have to trifle with your lame asses anymore. But see how hard you're laffing when you're 43, never been married, and now the cute young girls won't mess with you and you're still in your apartment, alone, with no family like the respectable men have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single 39 year old here.

I've been looking to get married since I was 25. I am decent looking, thin, in ok shape, etc. Its not because I am too picky or becasue I don't want to get married to becasue I focused on my career. It's just really really hard to meet guys.

It's really really not. How are you "thin" and in "OK shape?" If you're thin, you're in great shape.

"Thin" and "in great shape" are not synonyms. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:37 - I don't know about "stupidest life strategy" but if that poster is serious about having a kid on her own, she will effectively be choosing a kid over a partner, at least for a few years.

Most of the women I know who chose to have a child on their own are still single and rarely date. Because there is only so much time in a day/week, and if you're spending a lot of it being both mother and father to a child, it doesn't leave much time for finding a guy or keeping a relationship going. If you're doing all the wake-ups and bedtimes, all the drop-offs and pickups, all the activities and homework and housework and still trying to stay in shape and see your friends once in awhile, you're collapsing into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, most of the time.

I pretty much put dating on the back-burner when I had my child, because the kind of parent I want to be (very active) does not really mesh with being out there all the time, trying to meet guys. I do have friends who have prioritized dating over their kids, and it makes me sad for the kids.

It's her last chance to have a child, so it's actually very smart. I will tell you once you're over 40 you see most of your friends divorced, but they thankful they have their families. The women I know who don't have kids regret it. You always have time to find a guy, but finite time to have your family. She'll also have grand-kids, that's for life and men have a shelf life due to divorce or death. I was pregnant and was dating, then got married and had another child with him. I was in my 30's so time was out, best decision I made. Waiting too long would be her worst mistake.

Women who can date while pregnant are an exception. Most quality guys will prefer an unencumbered woman.

Lol at "quality guys."

If someone is ready to have a child, and prioritize it over dating, then good for them for doing what they want instead of waiting for a dude to turn up and fix everything. Sure, having a kid forecloses some activities, probably forecloses some partners. I'm going to guess that the woman who chooses pregnancy understands this?

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a woman who actually is single and a mom, I date pretty often. Sure, my ex is still in the pic but I also have support from family. I would highly suggest finding a regular baby sitter for a single woman by choice if family is not an option or moving back to your hometown, if the move would be a net positive overall.

Dating is hard for the first year or two and you might find that you're not interested in dating at that point. But after? I really haven't find dating to be any worse for me vs childless friends. All of my single mom friends are married/remarried now. Yes, you will have to find creative ways to date and keep yourself up, but it's worth it if you want to find a great guy. I'm not a completely self-sacrificing mom and I make zero apologies for it. I'm not raising my daughter to believe that her personal life ends as soon as she becomes a parent. I don't know of any men who develop this attitude, married or divorced.

Going it alone doesn't have to be a death sentence to your dating life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only difficult for women who have unrealistic expectations of what they "deserve" in a potential spouse (looks, job, money, emotional stability, etc.)

If they are holding out for an A+ guy, they better be bringing an A+ package to the table.

This.

Very true. And unrealistically high standards may be the reason they're still single in their 30s in the first place.

+3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single 39 year old here.

I've been looking to get married since I was 25. I am decent looking, thin, in ok shape, etc. Its not because I am too picky or becasue I don't want to get married to becasue I focused on my career. It's just really really hard to meet guys.

Are you online dating? It's impossible not to meet guys that way.