Is it really that hard for women in their 30's to date?

[Anonymous]

Nope. I broke up with the baby daddy and then dated and married in my early 30's. No problem.

But, I had to be willing to date someone divorced, with kids.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm 38 and took my 10yr old son out of school to go to the Spy museum today. I forgot to wear my ring. I got hit on right in front of my son at lunch by a business man, who was probably in his early 40s. . My son immediately picked up on what was happening and the first words that came out of his mouth when we walked out and out of ear shot was Oh My God Mom, I think that guy wants to be your husband!

If I get hit on in front of my child at age 38, how hard can it possibly be?!

[Anonymous]

Too Many Single Women in their 30s:

- Other Commitments - Meet my cat, here's my condo, can't grab dinner on Tuesday cause of my X class/event
- Not Flexible - But I like my dinner/routine/flowers/sex this way not that way
- Ample $ Expectations - You have a job so you can take me out for dinner every week, get me X for my birthday
- Sanctimonious - You voted for who? you drive what? no sex until we are exclusive!
- Life's Not Fair - Reached a point in her career where she can complain non-stop about every chauvinist and work injustice every day
- Ticking Clock - Photos of relative's/friend's babies as cell phone screen saver, more baby photos around condo
- BMI - Likely approaching 30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm 38 and took my 10yr old son out of school to go to the Spy museum today. I forgot to wear my ring. I got hit on right in front of my son at lunch by a business man, who was probably in his early 40s. . My son immediately picked up on what was happening and the first words that came out of his mouth when we walked out and out of ear shot was Oh My God Mom, I think that guy wants to be your husband!

If I get hit on in front of my child at age 38, how hard can it possibly be?!

You can date at any age, as long as you are cool with the reality that the age of the people you date goes up as well.

It only gets difficult when you insist on dating people who are (by conventional standards) too young for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too Many Single Women in their 30s:

- Other Commitments - Meet my cat, here's my condo, can't grab dinner on Tuesday cause of my X class/event
- Not Flexible - But I like my dinner/routine/flowers/sex this way not that way
- Ample $ Expectations - You have a job so you can take me out for dinner every week, get me X for my birthday
- Sanctimonious - You voted for who? you drive what? no sex until we are exclusive!
- Life's Not Fair - Reached a point in her career where she can complain non-stop about every chauvinist and work injustice every day
- Ticking Clock - Photos of relative's/friend's babies as cell phone screen saver, more baby photos around condo
- BMI - Likely approaching 30

This is hilarious and so true.

[Anonymous]

I will never, ever forget something that a good guy friend said to me when we were in our early 30s.
He told me all the good men were married, and the good women had been snatched up young. I don't think he meant it as an insult - maybe? - but just as an observation.

He was still living in the town where we'd grown up. He was married. I was single, coming out of a five-year relationship.

It's about 10 years later now. He is in the process of getting divorced. I got married in my late 30s to a guy I absolutely adore.

So, you know, no, it's not impossible for women in their 30s to date, even if some smug marrieds will tell you otherwise. Who knows; at some point, once their marriages end, you might even end up dating them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never, ever forget something that a good guy friend said to me when we were in our early 30s.
He told me all the good men were married, and the good women had been snatched up young. I don't think he meant it as an insult - maybe? - but just as an observation.

He was still living in the town where we'd grown up. He was married. I was single, coming out of a five-year relationship.

It's about 10 years later now. He is in the process of getting divorced. I got married in my late 30s to a guy I absolutely adore.

So, you know, no, it's not impossible for women in their 30s to date, even if some smug marrieds will tell you otherwise. Who knows; at some point, once their marriages end, you might even end up dating them.

I think this was more true 50 years ago, when virtually everyone was married by 25. In that age, the only people still single, by 35-40, were people who were completely undesirable, or bravely eccentric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never, ever forget something that a good guy friend said to me when we were in our early 30s.
He told me all the good men were married, and the good women had been snatched up young. I don't think he meant it as an insult - maybe? - but just as an observation.

He was still living in the town where we'd grown up. He was married. I was single, coming out of a five-year relationship.

It's about 10 years later now. He is in the process of getting divorced. I got married in my late 30s to a guy I absolutely adore.

So, you know, no, it's not impossible for women in their 30s to date, even if some smug marrieds will tell you otherwise. Who knows; at some point, once their marriages end, you might even end up dating them.

I think this was more true 50 years ago, when virtually everyone was married by 25. In that age, the only people still single, by 35-40, were people who were completely undesirable, or bravely eccentric.

I think my friend really believed that to be true when he said it to me. It seemed ridiculous then (though it stung a little, seeing as I was coming out of a relationship - a relationship I chose to end, mind, but still).

Now I just think it's a provincial sort of thing to say.

Where I live now - small town again, but a different one - I hear from some friends in their 50s and 60s that dating is a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

^pp a lot of small town people do think this way. I had some worried about my marital status when I was 26.

[Anonymous]

I spent my 20s just being single had a very short relationship in my very early 30s, and have been single again for over a year.
So I've given up. I will not find a guy, and I'm ok with being alone. (No, I do not have any cats!)
I went back to school and envision myself living in hawaii as a nurse, sipping Mai Tai's and enjoying my lonesome life. Doesn't sound terrible in my head.

So for me, dating is hard no matter what age I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent my 20s just being single had a very short relationship in my very early 30s, and have been single again for over a year.
So I've given up. I will not find a guy, and I'm ok with being alone. (No, I do not have any cats!)
I went back to school and envision myself living in hawaii as a nurse, sipping Mai Tai's and enjoying my lonesome life. Doesn't sound terrible in my head.

So for me, dating is hard no matter what age I am.

Not that there is anything wrong with being single, but I don't see why you are "giving up" in your early 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent my 20s just being single had a very short relationship in my very early 30s, and have been single again for over a year.
So I've given up. I will not find a guy, and I'm ok with being alone. (No, I do not have any cats!)
I went back to school and envision myself living in hawaii as a nurse, sipping Mai Tai's and enjoying my lonesome life. Doesn't sound terrible in my head.

So for me, dating is hard no matter what age I am.

Not that there is anything wrong with being single, but I don't see why you are "giving up" in your early 30s.

Because outside of a 4 months "relationship" I've been single for close to 9 years. I just don't think it's in the cards for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent my 20s just being single had a very short relationship in my very early 30s, and have been single again for over a year.
So I've given up. I will not find a guy, and I'm ok with being alone. (No, I do not have any cats!)
I went back to school and envision myself living in hawaii as a nurse, sipping Mai Tai's and enjoying my lonesome life. Doesn't sound terrible in my head.

So for me, dating is hard no matter what age I am.

Not that there is anything wrong with being single, but I don't see why you are "giving up" in your early 30s.

Because outside of a 4 months "relationship" I've been single for close to 9 years. I just don't think it's in the cards for me.

Fair enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Individual women may do okay, but as a whole - yes, much harder in your 30s. There are lots of stats backing this up. I cringe to refer to this book, as the title is awful, but the content is very interesting and much less offensive than the title. It should be required reading for any woman between 25 - 35 (but especially 25 - 30) who want marriage and possibly a family. Time does not increase your options, and the stuff you rule men out for in your 20's will be things you'd happily take in your 30's... but now your options are usually worse.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/03/marry-him/306651/

http://www.amazon.com/Marry-Him-Case-Settling-Enough/dp/045123216X

People take their careers, their educations, their fitness, their finances very seriously and make plans for them. And then we leave our life partners up to "fate" and "hope" and "you'll meet him when you least expect it." BS. While I don't advocate for settling with someone you're not happy with, I'm a huge advocate for opening your mind and making your search for a mate purposeful. There's an exercise in the book about determining your few must-haves, and then being open-minded on other things. I read this book just a few months before I met my DH, and I can guarantee you I would have ruled him out if I hadn't read this book. As it was, I almost did brush him off anyway. Been married 4 years now and very glad I didn't wait until further into my 30s to get serious about finding a spouse. The number of good mates in the pool and my ability to attract one of them wasn't going up.

This, a 1000 times over. I'm surprised you haven't gotten flamed for posting this yet. It's exactly true!

[Anonymous]

It's not that hard. Just don't expect younger men to commit to anything beyond casual flings. Once you start pushing 40, your serious relationship pool will primarily limited to men who already have kids, or don't want kids.