Is it really that hard for women in their 30's to date?

[Anonymous]

I met DH when I was 25 and have been married for 10 years. My friends who were high in demand in their 20's are having much difficulty dating in their 30's. All the good guys in their 30's seem to be married with kids or already in a relationship. The few good ones are high in demand and don't seem to want to settle down with my gfs.

[Anonymous]

Hot women in their 30s do fine. Average looking women, who got lots of attention in their 20s, struggle. If women who are in their early and mid-20s stopped giving men in their 30s attention this would change. But, as it is, men in their 30s who "have their shit together" can date women age 24-38 no problem.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't for me. I had a great experience dating in my 30's. I did not find to be the pickings to be slim at all.

[Anonymous]

Hot women do well no matter their age of course, but even average women in their 30s who have their lives together can find many options, both for casual dating and marriage-minded folk.

A lot of men who seem like good catches from the outside can turn out to be quite scary on closer inspection so tell your GFs not to worry about whatever they think they're missing out on.

Online dating is great because it helps you narrow the focus to men who are on the same page as you--or at least who claim to be. Anyone can lie to your face or online, but I've found that people are more focused in what they think they want (online) so you don't waste energy getting to know someone who is wholly incompatible in the more basic areas (kids, interests, etc.).

[Anonymous]

It was easy for me.

[Anonymous]

Easy for me as well. For the record, I'm slightly above average and overweight. (Not discovery channel overweight though.)

[Anonymous]

It can be tough because a lot of women get very single-minded in their dating so they can get married and have kids before they get too old. I've seen a lot of my friends get kind of anxious as they approach 35, and my guy friends have remarked on it. It can come off as desperation, which is not the greatest asset in dating.

The friends of mine who've had the most luck have been open to online dating and recognized that it can be a numbers game - sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a good frog.

[Anonymous]

It's only difficult for women who have unrealistic expectations of what they "deserve" in a potential spouse (looks, job, money, emotional stability, etc.)

If they are holding out for an A+ guy, they better be bringing an A+ package to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's only difficult for women who have unrealistic expectations of what they "deserve" in a potential spouse (looks, job, money, emotional stability, etc.)

If they are holding out for an A+ guy, they better be bringing an A+ package to the table.

This.

[Anonymous]

I didn't find it especially difficult. It probably helped that I was okay being single, and wasn't pushing to get married and have kids, so that probably helped (as another PP noted, desperation isn't a good-smelling perfume). I'm reasonably attractive but nothing amazing. Yes, the field is smaller as people start settling down and getting married, but I never felt like it was awful. I met my husband in my 30s, so I'd say it worked out okay for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be tough because a lot of women get very single-minded in their dating so they can get married and have kids before they get too old. I've seen a lot of my friends get kind of anxious as they approach 35, and my guy friends have remarked on it. It can come off as desperation, which is not the greatest asset in dating.

The friends of mine who've had the most luck have been open to online dating and recognized that it can be a numbers game - sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a good frog.

Desperation carries the stench of 1,000 rotting fish. Single, successful men in their 30s can smell it miles away.

And I totally agree, online dating is a numbers game. You go on 8 to 10 bad dates before finding someone who clicks with you. If you can't stomach that fact, then you're too lazy to find that special person.

As a guy, the good thing about online dating is that is gets the basic physical attractiveness question out of the way. 99 out of 100 guys won't meet someone from online dating if there is no initial attraction. At that point, I'm looking to see if our personalities are a match and if there's chemistry.

[Anonymous]

I enjoyed dating in my 30s. I got married when I was 34. I spent my 20s partying/learning who I am and had a lot of casual hookups along the way... I had to figure out who I was and what i wanted before i was ready for a serious relationship.

I found the quality of men that I met in my 20s and 30s to be just the same, to be honest. Some awesome, some terrible, some dogs. Some with good jobs, some with no career prospects whatsoever.

I met quite a few successful men via online dating when I was in my 30s. Men who spent their 20s getting an education and building up their careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only difficult for women who have unrealistic expectations of what they "deserve" in a potential spouse (looks, job, money, emotional stability, etc.)

If they are holding out for an A+ guy, they better be bringing an A+ package to the table.

This.

Very true. And unrealistically high standards may be the reason they're still single in their 30s in the first place.

[Anonymous]

This post cannot be serious. All a woman has to do to meet men is breathe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be tough because a lot of women get very single-minded in their dating so they can get married and have kids before they get too old. I've seen a lot of my friends get kind of anxious as they approach 35, and my guy friends have remarked on it. It can come off as desperation, which is not the greatest asset in dating.

The friends of mine who've had the most luck have been open to online dating and recognized that it can be a numbers game - sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a good frog.

This is a very good point. I went on a LOT of dates with men i met online... quick coffee, drink after work, etc. I didn't commit a dinner date/Fri night/Sat night to someone right away. There were plenty of men who seemed nice enough after a few email interactions but ended up not being what I was looking for when we met in person. Friends (both male and female) who weren't so pragmatic had problems with online dating/continue to do so.