Clothing for school and kids with social issues
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Anonymous
I also would wear a star wars shirt, but I am not offended by the post. There is a big difference between a "cool" retro star wars/Zelda/NASA/band shirt vs. a character smaller kids would like. It is a good reminder that switching from sweat pants to track pants can make a big difference in the way a kid is perceived. Same with switching from a Sponge Bob shirt to a retro video game shirt. Also, by second grade, the kids definitely notice, but maybe it isn't that big a deal. By 4th or 5th grade it becomes A Thing. Sometimes I read this blog: http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/ and the father talks about things he's done to help his daughter fit in. She drools and wears those wrist sweat things in matching colors like fashion accessories. She has an ipad for communication. The daughter still has social difficulties, and especially as she's gotten older this has become a theme in the blog, but it's clear she wants to fit in and looking age "appropriate" (in that other kids her age are wearing similar things, having similar technology, etc.) helps. |
Anonymous
I wonder if those taking so much offense from this are parents of younger kids/early elementary who are in the "Those things should not matter" mindeset. I am the parent of a now teen who wishes that I would have started making these types of changes back in fourth grade to maybe preempt some of the sixth grade bullying (which wasn't directly getting bullied about clothes but being different and looking younger, of which the clothes were the bullseye that brought attention to his peers that my lego shirt wearing kid was less mature, a little kid still, etc.). My very mature and socially adjusted but still geeky teen says the same thing, that it would have helped to look like his friends in sixth and not like a little kid. The otyer people who say they agree with OPs sentiment (even if they don't agree with the tone) all seem to also have teens. They know through hindsight that those things which shouldn't matter, really, really do. And as I posted earlier, making those changes when the kid suddenly realizes it is a problem is often too late, or can make the problem worse. We are past that now, but boy I wish I would have made chanyes to his kid wardrobe earlier...in fourth, not trying to fix it in sixth. I am not offended by OP because as caustic as she is, she is right. And if I would have led those wardrobe changes starting earlier, instead of waiting until my heads in the clouds son realized he looked different and no one was wearing sweats and minecraft Ts in 6th, then ihe would have had a much better time of it during those rough years. So consider OPs post a very poorly wrapped piece of insight towards a very simple thing you can start with your middle elementary kids to maybe make the roughest years a little easier for them. Because like it or not, in yrades 5-12th, peer approval, acceptance, fitting in and being one of tye crowd is tue most important thing of all to most kids. |
Anonymous
Aeropostle is having a sale this weekend and frequently has them, along with good clearance. Their shirts are super soft, too. http://www.aeropostale.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=3534619&searchdef=2440398&affcode=205175&k_clickid=1ba857c4-1814-4a55-9aac-204fe1732f36&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Brand%7CAero&utm_term=aero&002=2440398&006=88832474071&007=Search&008=&009=p&01 |
I bought ten since I'm expecting a lot of stains from summer camp and BBQ.
Anonymous
Not a fan of Old Navy after toddler sizes. Their stuff does not wash well or last at all. Not a chance I'd spend $5 on it. You can go to Marshalls and TJ Max and Ross and spend just slightly more on Nike and Adidas. I usually pay $3-4 for Nike, Adidas and Under Armor. Children's place (my kid is 6) has stuff for $1-2.50 on clearance. Though their teeshirts with graphics are terrible. Just got my husband 10 adidas shirts for $3.50 each and a Columbia coat for $20. Costco also has Adidas for reasonable (only when I absolutely need something). We do jeans or cargo's to school (but have tons of athletic clothing for sports). My kid has a crazy amount of clothing. Only thing I need a deal on right now is sneakers. I got a pair but they are way to big so they will have to wait a year or so. |
Anonymous
It matters to a point, but there is a balance. I am not ok with a teacher telling me how to dress my child and how much to spend. I dress my kid reasonably well BUT I do not send the expensive stuff to school. Our school is great about being careful in art class but stuff does get damaged. So, yes, my kid will go with the cheap coat to school but switches as soon as he gets into the car. They all know he has the clothing as I change him at school for activities. I am not ok with old, clothing with rips, holes, too small, but at some point I far prefer a kid having their own sense of style and not doing because they feel they have to to fit in. |
Anonymous
Good to know-- my DS is the kid with stains on his shirt, so he wears them out before they wear on their own. I need to spend more time at TJ Maxx and Marshalls for those prices. |
Anonymous
| I will start dressing my kid according to The teacher's standards when the teacher tells me the truth about my child's progress instead of faking reports making it look like he's making progress when we both know he's not. |
Anonymous
My DS is in 3rd grade and I've already noticed-- seems like there is a uniform the boys wear most days consisting primarily of sports attire. I don't think anyone makes fun of clothes, but I do think they notice what is cool. My DS (who cares nothing for pop culture) picked up on Star Wars as being cool- he requested a shirt and told me several kids complimented him when he wore it. My DS does not pick up easily on social cues- it was a big deal for him to request a particular shirt because of its popularity with other kids. While parents of NT kids probably hate this, I was pleased and thought it was a sign of progress that he noticed what other kids like and imitated it. |
Anonymous
I'm getting them really cheap by finding clearances that have an additional 50% off. I buy a few years ahead and put away. (the negative to that is my kid has a ton of clothing as I forget what I buy). For non-clearance, TJ Max, Marshalls and Ross are your best bet for reasonably priced. I usually go there for fill-in of what we don't have. Under Armour does a bit better with stains. My son has a shirt that was stained (not sure how) and I was surprised I got it all out. Children's place is good when they have a major clearance. For boys, online only - they will have a clearance with 50% off and free shipping. You have to watch the prices as they are shady and will raise them and discount them so its not always a good deal. Never spend more than $4-5 per jeans/pants there and $2.50 for teeshirts. The Nike/Adidas cotton teeshirts don't wash very well. The shiny fabric ones are much better, especially for stains. Target has gotten really expensive for clothing - discount stores are often better now even though for some stuff they really aren't a discount. |
Anonymous
+1, or better for us when they stop telling me they don't think my child can do xxx or pass their tests and then shocker, he passes them and does really well. Ok, so he has some delays, but that doesn't mean he isn't smart. And, for the things he needs more support on, instead of sending them home for us to work on, actually take 5 minutes and give him the support he needs. |
Anonymous
| I think some of these kids might have parents who are socially awkward themselves. The parents might not have the best hygiene, or they might not have any idea what is cool, and they might not understand the social dynamics at play. Therefore, the kids have poor hygiene and uncool clothes. |
Anonymous
I think that's a lot of assumptions-- I think OP's original post was not intended to be unkind or an attack on parents-- can't say the same about this one. |
Anonymous
| Eh. My son has HFA and has some very strange ideas about which pants look stylish. I've tried to explain this to him, his brother has, his friend from aftercare has. DS doesn't care. I'm not going to die on that hill. |
Anonymous
Right- and if your son likes what he wears, is willing to put up with some comments about it, and the clothing is clean/fits/and he won't freeze to death, there is no problem. That sounds like a choice. |
Anonymous
^^love this. Thanks for the tips. We have a Ross near us. |