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Sister is infertile/I have 3 kids
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Anonymous
+1 million. This is the weirdest thread ever. |
Anonymous
Every pregnancy, even the most low risk pregnancy, carries the risk of injury and possibly death. Things can go wrong at the last minute. There is not such thing as "no health risks." No one has an obligation to do it. And if you would do it for a sister. Good for you. You're a better person. Have a cookie. Now go away and let the grown ups talk.... |
Anonymous
+1 I would, too. Without a doubt. Not only is it someone else's baby but you'd be helping your sister experience the joy of having a child. |
Anonymous
I don't even think it crossed OP's mind to do it. She's getting this reaction because her tone implies little empathy for her sister's situation. Of course OP can have a 4th kid--you don't let someone else dictate your family plans. But, if it were me, once I was done having my own children, I'd look into how I could help my sister, whether it's through egg donation or surrogacy. |
Anonymous
| OP, go ahead and do what you wanna do. It's pretty clear you're gonna do it anyway. Just don't expect your sister to be in your life. You have other priorities now and she's not one of them. Sounds like she never really was. |
Anonymous
| OP. I have a younger sister. You aren't responsible for her happiness. |
Anonymous
It is not normal for it to cross someone's mind. I really feel for her sister, but this is not OP's problem to solve. |
Anonymous
| With both of my pregnancies, it took about a year and a half and an early miscarriage for me to get there. Not even infertility, but a bit of time and struggle each time, and BOTH TIMES my sister (who has four kids) offered surrogacy if I ever wanted it. I also have a close friend who has two kids and offered surrogacy. It meant the world to me to know their generosity, even though I probably would never have taken them up on it. I think that's something you'd have to want in your heart to do for your sister, not something you could ever do out of a sense of guilt or obligation or trying to mend fences, but if you have even an inkling of openness to that, it'd really be worth some serious consideration. I would never have sought or been able to afford a surrogate if I couldn't get pregnant (and again, it never came to that for me), but to have a sister and a close friend both offer ... really meant the world. |
Anonymous
| OP's little sister has been a heinous bitch. There is no way that I would offer to donate eggs or carry a baby for her. She's a terrible person and would be a terrible parent. She's super competitive and would always be comparing her child against OP's child, and trying to win. |
Anonymous
Also, surrogacy does not = giving away your own biological child (ie: your children's sibling) - wtf? OP, I was with you for a lot of this thread, and there are very valid reasons not to feel up to surrogacy, but you really do just sound like an ass at this point. Leave your sister alone. Let her involve herself in whatever degree she does or doesn't want to be involved with you, and be gracious about her pain. You sound like someone who would do better to bite your tongue in most any conversation relating to this. |
Anonymous
| If you told her you were trying, would you change your decision if she reacted poorly? If you're positive she would react poorly but still want kids anyway, I would wait until you were pregnant. You never know you may not succeed and why bring up bad feelings when you don't have to. Yes I think it's very probable she would be estranged again, but that's her problem not yours. |
Anonymous
Of course it's normal to cross someone's mind! Rarer to follow through. But to think of it, even fleetingly, yes, normal. |
Anonymous
+1. I don't think OP is looking for a solution. Her relationship with sis is low on the list. It just doesn't look "good" to be estranged, but I'm sure she can deal with that. She won't even need to think about it, what with bringing all that love into the world. |
Anonymous
| Daaang, this thread is crazycakes. |
Anonymous
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I'm older sister is infertile and I have 2 boys. She loves them and treats them like his own children. Has taken the older one to trips and organized all his birthday parties. He would gladly move in with her.
I don't know how she feel about me having 2 and her having none since we don't talk about it. Her has kept her infertility problems between her and her husband. I wouldn't tell her until it shows, but I wouldn't not have them because of her. |