Sister is infertile/I have 3 kids

[Anonymous]

Why is considering surrogacy or egg donation crazy?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's only one way to solve this. Give her your 4th kid. Otherwise you're just rubbing it in her face and you can kiss your relationship goodbye. Do you really need 4 kids when there is overpopulation? Or are you just doing it because you can?

Insane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

This seems quite logical. Perhaps the sister is surprised OP couldn't care less. She is probably surprised OP has not offered.
I can't imagine being fertile and watching my sister struggle with infertility and CHOOSING not to help her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

Why? Why?

Because no one has an obligation to act as a surrogate and a random person should not be surprised a sister has not offered. The expectations are nuts. It would be a lovely thing to consider, but in no way is it an obligation of the OP. At all.

Are you dumb? Do you see the word consider or obligated in my post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

Why? Why?

Because it's not an easy thing to carry a baby to term. OP has no obligation to risk her life or health to give her sister a baby.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the responses so far. As far as being a surrogate goes, I feel awful at the thought of spending 40 weeks bonding with a baby and anticipating birth only to give him/her up. I couldn't do it and neither could my husband. I don't even know what I would tell my other children.

[Anonymous]

^^OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider being a surrogate for her? I am surprised you haven't offered.

This is crazy.

Why? Why?

Because no one has an obligation to act as a surrogate and a random person should not be surprised a sister has not offered. The expectations are nuts. It would be a lovely thing to consider, but in no way is it an obligation of the OP. At all.

Are you dumb? Do you see the word consider or obligated in my post?

"I am surprised you haven't offered."

You must find a lot of things surprising.

[Anonymous]

OP. You sound like you are enjoying this, you list all the ways you are "winning" in the first post.
You sound like you are fostering the competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the PPs who are questioning your desire to have a 4th child is ridiculous. It's your life, you only have one life, and if you and your family want to have another child, you should definitely go for it.

You are making another person to love and to love you back and to love your family. Not doing that because your sister is bitter over her fertility problems is wrong, if it is what you want to do. If you want to bring more love into the world and you can bring more love into the world, do it. Don't let someone else's hurt and anger stop you. If she chooses to see it as an affront, rather than an opportunity for her to have another family member so be it.

Your sister has to choose between bitterness and being the best aunt anyone could ever have. It is up to her, not up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses so far. As far as being a surrogate goes, I feel awful at the thought of spending 40 weeks bonding with a baby and anticipating birth only to give him/her up. I couldn't do it and neither could my husband. I don't even know what I would tell my other children.

Not as awful as she feels when she can't have kids, while you have four kids.
You tell the kids the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses so far. As far as being a surrogate goes, I feel awful at the thought of spending 40 weeks bonding with a baby and anticipating birth only to give him/her up. I couldn't do it and neither could my husband. I don't even know what I would tell my other children.

Not as awful as she feels when she can't have kids, while you have four kids.
You tell the kids the truth.

That I gave away their sibling as a peace offering to my sister? No, I'll never have that kind of conversation.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's only one way to solve this. Give her your 4th kid. Otherwise you're just rubbing it in her face and you can kiss your relationship goodbye. Do you really need 4 kids when there is overpopulation? Or are you just doing it because you can?

Yeah. If I was you, Id offer to carry a baby for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the PPs who are questioning your desire to have a 4th child is ridiculous. It's your life, you only have one life, and if you and your family want to have another child, you should definitely go for it.

You are making another person to love and to love you back and to love your family. Not doing that because your sister is bitter over her fertility problems is wrong, if it is what you want to do. If you want to bring more love into the world and you can bring more love into the world, do it. Don't let someone else's hurt and anger stop you. If she chooses to see it as an affront, rather than an opportunity for her to have another family member so be it.

Your sister has to choose between bitterness and being the best aunt anyone could ever have. It is up to her, not up to you.

"Bringing more love into the world"... hmm, kind of a zero sum game, isn't it? Because OP is choosing away to take away love that is already there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the PPs who are questioning your desire to have a 4th child is ridiculous. It's your life, you only have one life, and if you and your family want to have another child, you should definitely go for it.

You are making another person to love and to love you back and to love your family. Not doing that because your sister is bitter over her fertility problems is wrong, if it is what you want to do. If you want to bring more love into the world and you can bring more love into the world, do it. Don't let someone else's hurt and anger stop you. If she chooses to see it as an affront, rather than an opportunity for her to have another family member so be it.

Your sister has to choose between bitterness and being the best aunt anyone could ever have. It is up to her, not up to you.

"Bringing more love into the world"... hmm, kind of a zero sum game, isn't it? Because OP is choosing away to take away love that is already there.

Nope, that is all on the sister.