really stupid RSVP question

[Anonymous]

At the very least, text a rsvp. "My son Larlo just joined the twos class. Sorry we can't make the party, but thanks so much for the invitation. Larla"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you suffer from social anxiety, OP?
Because you are seriously making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop being such a drama queen.

Who the F cares if your kid is new to the daycare, or that your child took up a spot. The parent is inviting the entire class so no one will feel left out.

They're two. How would they even know they're not going to a party.

And yeah, I think it's really strange to call someone to RSVP when they don't actually know they've invited you.

Are you for real? You cannot be this socially dense. Troll.

Yes, I can be this socially dense, and thanks for mocking someone who doesn't have the social skills that you do. You're the reason I've isolated myself over the past decade.

No, the reason why you've isolated yourself socially is because you refuse to play by the rules of etiquette. If you don't play by the rules, no one will want to play with you, get it? When a parent with clearly good intentions invites your kid to a party, you respond in kind. This is how you begin to make friends with your children's parents. I suggest you frickin bite the bullet, pick up the phone, and say this, "Hi, so-and-so. I'm Larla's mom--we just started at the daycare. Thanks so much for the invitation, but we won't be able to make it. Take care!"

your children's friends' parents

[Anonymous]

Yes, you need to respond OP, or you can have your husband do it.

Just use the sentences suggested here "I'm X's parent, he/she is new to the school but got the invite to Y's party. X cannot attend but I hope Y has a wonderful day."

Call mid-morning as others have suggested if you want to hopefully avoid talking. Or you can try texting.

If it helps, don't think of this as being about you in any way. This is about your child's relationships. Your child will be in class with this child, and others, and you want to help your child be socially successful. So you help that but supporting his/her friendships, by doing what you can to ensure that your child will be perceived well by others (including parents) and by abiding by social niceties even if they seem silly. It's an investment in your child's relationships - not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you suffer from social anxiety, OP?
Because you are seriously making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop being such a drama queen.

Who the F cares if your kid is new to the daycare, or that your child took up a spot. The parent is inviting the entire class so no one will feel left out.

They're two. How would they even know they're not going to a party.

And yeah, I think it's really strange to call someone to RSVP when they don't actually know they've invited you.

Are you for real? You cannot be this socially dense. Troll.

Yes, I can be this socially dense, and thanks for mocking someone who doesn't have the social skills that you do. You're the reason I've isolated myself over the past decade.

Sorry OP/Troll, Inconsistent logic. The first page or two, everyone was kind and spoon fed you the required social skills. People answered nicely and in good faith. People started mocking you when things got really, really weird with your follow-up responses.

You are isolated because either a) you have crippling social anxiety and refuse to seek help or b) you get your rocks off trolling the internet, which is a weird and anti-social hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I very rarely call troll, but I think this has to be a troll.

Has to be. The OP's insisting responses back can't be real.

I agree. These are not the responses of someone with "AS", unless he/she meant anti-social and not autisim/aspergers

I have no experience with AS other than Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Max from Parenthood. I can imagine them both arguing just like OP. Both would eventually give in and call, and would finish by making a (what we'd consider) snarky comment about forcing the phone call to the host.

OP, just say word for word what an early poster commented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Compared to a workplace or a private preschool, the conventions and norms are so relaxed that you might not realize they exist.

Which means it's nearly impossible for me to figure them out.

Here's the deal - my first fight with DH was when we unpacked after a move and I found 15 unanswered wedding RSVP cards. You RSVP, it's what you do. But it freaks me out beyond words to RSVP to someone when she doesn't know she's invited me.

"Hi, this is Sally Jones, and I got your invitation for Larla's party, and we won't be able to make it. Thanks anyway."

"Who?"

NIGHTMARE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, there is no email address, just a phone number.

Try texting then. It is most likely a cell phone number.

I agree texting in this situation is fine.

Same verbiage as people gave you above. If you don't get a response to the text, then you call to make sure the host got the RSVP.

+1

OP does the daycare publish a list of families with email and phone number? This might provide you an email as a backup to texting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, there is no email address, just a phone number.

Try texting then. It is most likely a cell phone number.

I agree texting in this situation is fine.

Same verbiage as people gave you above. If you don't get a response to the text, then you call to make sure the host got the RSVP.

+1

OP does the daycare publish a list of families with email and phone number? This might provide you an email as a backup to texting.

They do not, and the invitation says specifically to call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I very rarely call troll, but I think this has to be a troll.

Has to be. The OP's insisting responses back can't be real.

I agree. These are not the responses of someone with "AS", unless he/she meant anti-social and not autisim/aspergers

I have no experience with AS other than Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Max from Parenthood. I can imagine them both arguing just like OP. Both would eventually give in and call, and would finish by making a (what we'd consider) snarky comment about forcing the phone call to the host.

OP, just say word for word what an early poster commented.

As a parent, OP, you're going to be put in a lot of socially awkward positions over the years. You'd better learn to fake it, otherwise your child is in for a hell of a social life. If you love your child and want them to have friends and a normal life, suck it up, buttercup. Put their needs first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I very rarely call troll, but I think this has to be a troll.

Has to be. The OP's insisting responses back can't be real.

I agree. These are not the responses of someone with "AS", unless he/she meant anti-social and not autisim/aspergers

I have no experience with AS other than Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Max from Parenthood. I can imagine them both arguing just like OP. Both would eventually give in and call, and would finish by making a (what we'd consider) snarky comment about forcing the phone call to the host.

OP, just say word for word what an early poster commented.

As a parent, OP, you're going to be put in a lot of socially awkward positions over the years. You'd better learn to fake it, otherwise your child is in for a hell of a social life. If you love your child and want them to have friends and a normal life, suck it up, buttercup. Put their needs first.

DC's needs always come first. This isn't a need, and I don't do socially awkward well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Compared to a workplace or a private preschool, the conventions and norms are so relaxed that you might not realize they exist.

Which means it's nearly impossible for me to figure them out.

Here's the deal - my first fight with DH was when we unpacked after a move and I found 15 unanswered wedding RSVP cards. You RSVP, it's what you do. But it freaks me out beyond words to RSVP to someone when she doesn't know she's invited me.

"Hi, this is Sally Jones, and I got your invitation for Larla's party, and we won't be able to make it. Thanks anyway."

"Who?"

NIGHTMARE.

Well that would be a dumb thing to say - you need to say your child's name, who just started at the daycare with Larla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Compared to a workplace or a private preschool, the conventions and norms are so relaxed that you might not realize they exist.

Which means it's nearly impossible for me to figure them out.

Here's the deal - my first fight with DH was when we unpacked after a move and I found 15 unanswered wedding RSVP cards. You RSVP, it's what you do. But it freaks me out beyond words to RSVP to someone when she doesn't know she's invited me.

"Hi, this is Sally Jones, and I got your invitation for Larla's party, and we won't be able to make it. Thanks anyway."

"Who?"

NIGHTMARE.

Well that would be a dumb thing to say - you need to say your child's name, who just started at the daycare with Larla.

Are you always that bitchy to people who've admitted they don't understand social convention? How on earth would I know to start off with my child's name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Compared to a workplace or a private preschool, the conventions and norms are so relaxed that you might not realize they exist.

Which means it's nearly impossible for me to figure them out.

Here's the deal - my first fight with DH was when we unpacked after a move and I found 15 unanswered wedding RSVP cards. You RSVP, it's what you do. But it freaks me out beyond words to RSVP to someone when she doesn't know she's invited me.

"Hi, this is Sally Jones, and I got your invitation for Larla's party, and we won't be able to make it. Thanks anyway."

"Who?"

NIGHTMARE.

No. You conveniently forgot to add: "My daughter Larla just started at the daycare."
And it's not a nightmare. You know what a nightmare is? That poor young police offer who just got gunned down in the line of duty in PG County. Get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Compared to a workplace or a private preschool, the conventions and norms are so relaxed that you might not realize they exist.

Which means it's nearly impossible for me to figure them out.

Here's the deal - my first fight with DH was when we unpacked after a move and I found 15 unanswered wedding RSVP cards. You RSVP, it's what you do. But it freaks me out beyond words to RSVP to someone when she doesn't know she's invited me.

"Hi, this is Sally Jones, and I got your invitation for Larla's party, and we won't be able to make it. Thanks anyway."

"Who?"

NIGHTMARE.

No. You conveniently forgot to add: "My daughter Larla just started at the daycare."
And it's not a nightmare. You know what a nightmare is? That poor young police offer who just got gunned down in the line of duty in PG County. Get some perspective.

I didn't conveniently forget, I don't know to say those things.

Yep, we're definitely not going if moms are this cruel and hateful if you don't fit in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DC's needs always come first. This isn't a need, and I don't do socially awkward well.

Socialization is very much a need. This thread proves that. Social graces are essential for daily life, so that an RSVP doesn't create a tail spin. Practicing social skills is important for everyone.