really stupid RSVP question

[Anonymous]

Wow, I can't believe someone could get so overcome that they would be unable to respond with a phone call. RSVP means you let the host know yes OR no -- unless it says "RSVP regrets only," in which case you would STILL have to call to let the host know you're not coming. I hope you're a troll.

Signed, an introvert who doesn't like phone calls much either, but come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you need to rsvp.

So I have to introduce myself as well?

I have AS, and this doesn't make any sense to me. She doesn't know my name or my child's name.

You asked, we answered, and now you're arguing with us because you don't understand. Sometimes you don't HAVE to understand - you just have to do things. We are TELLING YOU that yes, you need to RSVP. More than one person was even kind enough to write out exactly what you should say, minus the proper nouns. Say thank you, listen to us, and go RSVP.

No, I don't think I will, sorry. I don't call people for social reasons if they don't know me.

I'm pretty sure it's a gift grab though, so I don't feel too badly.

What!!!!! My head literally just hit my desk.

OP, what are you talking about? This can't be real. You are not calling the other parent for social reasons. You are calling to respond to an invitation received for your child. It is rude not to respond. This is going to come up a lot over your child's life. Really. You will need to communicate with other parents that you don't know on behalf of or for your child.

I can tend toward cynical, but a small child's birthday party isn't a gift grab.

She doesn't know me!!! It's rude to put someone in the position to have to call a perfect stranger who doesn't know them either!

You are twisting the situation to justify your own social anxiety and inability to call her. She is actually being really NICE and INCLUSIVE by inviting the whole class. A birthday party especially at that age is an opportunity to meet someone to get to know someone. EVERY single time you meet someone for the FIRST time, they are a stranger to you. People generally make small talk, feel each other out, and after a while, they actually are acquaintances and maybe even friends! Everyone in every relationship begins as the meeting of two strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you need to rsvp.

So I have to introduce myself as well?

I have AS, and this doesn't make any sense to me. She doesn't know my name or my child's name.

You asked, we answered, and now you're arguing with us because you don't understand. Sometimes you don't HAVE to understand - you just have to do things. We are TELLING YOU that yes, you need to RSVP. More than one person was even kind enough to write out exactly what you should say, minus the proper nouns. Say thank you, listen to us, and go RSVP.

No, I don't think I will, sorry. I don't call people for social reasons if they don't know me.

I'm pretty sure it's a gift grab though, so I don't feel too badly.

What!!!!! My head literally just hit my desk.

OP, what are you talking about? This can't be real. You are not calling the other parent for social reasons. You are calling to respond to an invitation received for your child. It is rude not to respond. This is going to come up a lot over your child's life. Really. You will need to communicate with other parents that you don't know on behalf of or for your child.

I can tend toward cynical, but a small child's birthday party isn't a gift grab.

She doesn't know me!!! It's rude to put someone in the position to have to call a perfect stranger who doesn't know them either!

You are twisting the situation to justify your own social anxiety and inability to call her. She is actually being really NICE and INCLUSIVE by inviting the whole class. A birthday party especially at that age is an opportunity to meet someone to get to know someone. EVERY single time you meet someone for the FIRST time, they are a stranger to you. People generally make small talk, feel each other out, and after a while, they actually are acquaintances and maybe even friends! Everyone in every relationship begins as the meeting of two strangers.

I'm actually ok meeting people in real life, but I absolutely cannot meet someone for the first time over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, please RSVP. We just had a party for our twins and several families didn't bother to respond. I don't really understand that..even if you can't make it, please respond and let the host know. I know that you are new to this daycare, but they invited everyone int he class probably and it helps to know how many people are coming to the party.

'


Yes, please respond. RSVP is an acronym for a french term meaning "The favor of a response will be appreciated". So respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you need to rsvp.

So I have to introduce myself as well?

I have AS, and this doesn't make any sense to me. She doesn't know my name or my child's name.

You asked, we answered, and now you're arguing with us because you don't understand. Sometimes you don't HAVE to understand - you just have to do things. We are TELLING YOU that yes, you need to RSVP. More than one person was even kind enough to write out exactly what you should say, minus the proper nouns. Say thank you, listen to us, and go RSVP.

No, I don't think I will, sorry. I don't call people for social reasons if they don't know me.

I'm pretty sure it's a gift grab though, so I don't feel too badly.

Oh my god. You are a huge, insecure, rude pill, OP. I understand social anxiety and phone phobia. But she is trying to have a party, this is the way that kids meet friends, and you are making it all about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you suffer from social anxiety, OP?
Because you are seriously making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop being such a drama queen.

Who the F cares if your kid is new to the daycare, or that your child took up a spot. The parent is inviting the entire class so no one will feel left out.

They're two. How would they even know they're not going to a party.

And yeah, I think it's really strange to call someone to RSVP when they don't actually know they've invited you.

Are you for real? You cannot be this socially dense. Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you need to rsvp.

So I have to introduce myself as well?

I have AS, and this doesn't make any sense to me. She doesn't know my name or my child's name.

You asked, we answered, and now you're arguing with us because you don't understand. Sometimes you don't HAVE to understand - you just have to do things. We are TELLING YOU that yes, you need to RSVP. More than one person was even kind enough to write out exactly what you should say, minus the proper nouns. Say thank you, listen to us, and go RSVP.

No, I don't think I will, sorry. I don't call people for social reasons if they don't know me.

I'm pretty sure it's a gift grab though, so I don't feel too badly.

What!!!!! My head literally just hit my desk.

OP, what are you talking about? This can't be real. You are not calling the other parent for social reasons. You are calling to respond to an invitation received for your child. It is rude not to respond. This is going to come up a lot over your child's life. Really. You will need to communicate with other parents that you don't know on behalf of or for your child.

I can tend toward cynical, but a small child's birthday party isn't a gift grab.

She doesn't know me!!! It's rude to put someone in the position to have to call a perfect stranger who doesn't know them either!

I have been on this site since its inception. I have never, ever said this to anyone before now.

BUT.

I feel sorry for your children.

Good luck, OP, and don't you dare ever come here to complain that the DC area is horrible and unfriendly.

It's rude to put someone in this position. And what's a strange comment. She's certainly not doing it to be friendly. She's not even making it easy by including an email address.

The friendly action, in this case, is including your child in the party. Stop thinking about yourself for a minute. Would your child have fun at this party? Would your child want to go to this party? Depending on the age, the other kids will talk about this party in front of your child? How will this make your child feel if he/she didn't attend?

OP, this is how you meet other families and parents. You show up to this shit and you stand around and chat and then it gets easier and then you have a few friends. These casual friendships ultimately benefit your child and build a sense of community and make life generally easier and more pleasant.

Am I really typing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I very rarely call troll, but I think this has to be a troll.

Has to be. The OP's insisting responses back can't be real.

I agree. These are not the responses of someone with "AS", unless he/she meant anti-social and not autisim/aspergers

[Anonymous]

Call during the day when you are 90% they are at work. leave a message.
You don't have to actually speak to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you need to rsvp.

So I have to introduce myself as well?

I have AS, and this doesn't make any sense to me. She doesn't know my name or my child's name.

You asked, we answered, and now you're arguing with us because you don't understand. Sometimes you don't HAVE to understand - you just have to do things. We are TELLING YOU that yes, you need to RSVP. More than one person was even kind enough to write out exactly what you should say, minus the proper nouns. Say thank you, listen to us, and go RSVP.

No, I don't think I will, sorry. I don't call people for social reasons if they don't know me.

I'm pretty sure it's a gift grab though, so I don't feel too badly.

What!!!!! My head literally just hit my desk.

OP, what are you talking about? This can't be real. You are not calling the other parent for social reasons. You are calling to respond to an invitation received for your child. It is rude not to respond. This is going to come up a lot over your child's life. Really. You will need to communicate with other parents that you don't know on behalf of or for your child.

I can tend toward cynical, but a small child's birthday party isn't a gift grab.

She doesn't know me!!! It's rude to put someone in the position to have to call a perfect stranger who doesn't know them either!

At the age where children are in daycare it's normal to invite the whole class. It's about being inclusive and welcoming, not about a gift grab. The hostess of the party is doing the right thing. You are pulling reasons out of your ass why you doing the wrong thing is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you suffer from social anxiety, OP?
Because you are seriously making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop being such a drama queen.

Who the F cares if your kid is new to the daycare, or that your child took up a spot. The parent is inviting the entire class so no one will feel left out.

They're two. How would they even know they're not going to a party.

And yeah, I think it's really strange to call someone to RSVP when they don't actually know they've invited you.

Are you for real? You cannot be this socially dense. Troll.

Yes, I can be this socially dense, and thanks for mocking someone who doesn't have the social skills that you do. You're the reason I've isolated myself over the past decade.

[Anonymous]

It's rude to put someone in this position. And what's a strange comment. She's certainly not doing it to be friendly. She's not even making it easy by including an email address.

It's really not. I guarantee you this parent was not trying to be rude, it hasn't even crossed her mind that there are parents, like you, for whom this might be awkward. I see that you have AS and I know that is a huge factor in how you are thinking about this, but I would encourage you to listen to some of the very kind guidance above. It is absolutely appropriate and socially important to respond, in whatever way you feel comfortable. If you are not comfortable making that call, and it is clear that you are not, please take the time to write out a short note and leave it for her at school. Ask the teacher to pass it to her if you must. I would also suggest that you think of this as an attempt to include your child, rather than a "gift grab" or something to make you feel uncomfortable - doing so will go a long way to establishing a good social rapport with your fellow parents. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I have to introduce myself as well?

I have AS, and this doesn't make any sense to me. She doesn't know my name or my child's name.

See response 11:24.

This is how she will learn your name & your child's name. Introductions outside of work environments, in social situations, are often more casual, like this would be.

+1 OP you just "joined a group" (parents of children in XYZ daycare room). Compared to a workplace or a private preschool, the conventions and norms are so relaxed that you might not realize they exist. The conventions exist only to build the network you all need while you are in this phase of life, not to make your life complicated. It just means that you will get to know each others' names. At birthday parties you might gather info on pediatric dentists, what new park to try, or where to find a babysitter for the weekend, or chat about child development phases. Or you might forget all that, and just relax and watch your kids together. When your child comes home and tells you about a tussle with little Johnny over a toy, knowing little Johnny and and having met his parents might give you context to help you talk through the situation with your child.

You will want the hosts of this birthday party to have an inaccurate head count, won't you? They need it to plan for food and goodie bag quantities. If you haven't already met the parents, yes your RSVP will serve two purposes - a response and an invitation. You might need to do the same with other parents as the coming year unfolds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you suffer from social anxiety, OP?
Because you are seriously making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop being such a drama queen.

Who the F cares if your kid is new to the daycare, or that your child took up a spot. The parent is inviting the entire class so no one will feel left out.

They're two. How would they even know they're not going to a party.

And yeah, I think it's really strange to call someone to RSVP when they don't actually know they've invited you.

Are you for real? You cannot be this socially dense. Troll.

Yes, I can be this socially dense, and thanks for mocking someone who doesn't have the social skills that you do. You're the reason I've isolated myself over the past decade.

No, the reason you've isolated yourself is because you have decided to allow your anxieties and phobias to control your life, rather than using talk therapy/medication to treat yourself. I know--BTDT. Please get help--if not for yourself, then for your child's sake. You are doing him/her no favors with your behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you suffer from social anxiety, OP?
Because you are seriously making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop being such a drama queen.

Who the F cares if your kid is new to the daycare, or that your child took up a spot. The parent is inviting the entire class so no one will feel left out.

They're two. How would they even know they're not going to a party.

And yeah, I think it's really strange to call someone to RSVP when they don't actually know they've invited you.

Are you for real? You cannot be this socially dense. Troll.

Yes, I can be this socially dense, and thanks for mocking someone who doesn't have the social skills that you do. You're the reason I've isolated myself over the past decade.

No, the reason why you've isolated yourself socially is because you refuse to play by the rules of etiquette. If you don't play by the rules, no one will want to play with you, get it? When a parent with clearly good intentions invites your kid to a party, you respond in kind. This is how you begin to make friends with your children's parents. I suggest you frickin bite the bullet, pick up the phone, and say this, "Hi, so-and-so. I'm Larla's mom--we just started at the daycare. Thanks so much for the invitation, but we won't be able to make it. Take care!"