Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

"I'm not a spanker (yet, haven't felt that we need to), but I do know of one family that uses corporal punishment with their three kids, who are all super well adjusted and well behaved. This entire family is a delight to be with- that's what made me ask them what their discipline methods were in the first place.

For them it's very well thought out. Kids know consequences in advance, which are meted out without anger and with consistency. Both parents are on the same page about when/how the spanking takes place. I believe the punishment is spanking or some variety thereof.
They're elem thru pre-teens now so the jury is still out, but so far they seem like great kids and they're great company. "

Sounds like my family. You have no idea what our parents did behind closed doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

If that were the only thing you do, then you'd be right. Since it's just the punishment portion, it works well as a complement to the teaching aspect. Same as any other punishment, only more effective. If all you ever did was to take away toys and issue timeouts, that wouldn't work, either.

Except a lot of people don't incorporate a teaching component with their punishment. And, if you are an effective teacher in teaching them how to behave, you don't need to hit them as well to get your point across. There are other, better ways to teach your kids how to behave that they can actually learn and grow from instead of blocking out whatever teaching you are trying to do because they are too sidetracked by the fact that you just or are about to HIT them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

If that were the only thing you do, then you'd be right. Since it's just the punishment portion, it works well as a complement to the teaching aspect. Same as any other punishment, only more effective. If all you ever did was to take away toys and issue timeouts, that wouldn't work, either.

Except a lot of people don't incorporate a teaching component with their punishment. And, if you are an effective teacher in teaching them how to behave, you don't need to hit them as well to get your point across. There are other, better ways to teach your kids how to behave that they can actually learn and grow from instead of blocking out whatever teaching you are trying to do because they are too sidetracked by the fact that you just or are about to HIT them.

Correct, a lot of people don't. A lot just put their kids in timeout and never teach anything. But even people who do teach proper behavior find that they sometimes need to reinforce that with a punishment, whatever form that may take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

If that were the only thing you do, then you'd be right. Since it's just the punishment portion, it works well as a complement to the teaching aspect. Same as any other punishment, only more effective. If all you ever did was to take away toys and issue timeouts, that wouldn't work, either.

Except a lot of people don't incorporate a teaching component with their punishment. And, if you are an effective teacher in teaching them how to behave, you don't need to hit them as well to get your point across. There are other, better ways to teach your kids how to behave that they can actually learn and grow from instead of blocking out whatever teaching you are trying to do because they are too sidetracked by the fact that you just or are about to HIT them.

You can teach them after the spanking. Memory of the spanking will reinforce the teaching.

[Anonymous]

We spanked all three of our kids a few times between ages 3 and 5.
They're now 6, 9, 9 and happy, well-adjusted and well behaved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have swatted their bottoms -twins - because I had warned them to never ever put pills in their mouths if they found one on the floor. My mum was staying with us and, because of her bad eye sight, she'd sometimes miss her mouth and her pill would drop to the floor without her realizing. She was on some heavy duty medication - blood pressure, dementia, heart meds and I lived in terror of them eating them.
I tried to always be there to make sure they all went in her mouth but she'd forget and take them again. I am also on BP meds so the danger wasn't going to end when my mum left.
One day I found my twins huddled in the play room and went to see what they were up to. They were about 3. They were taking it in turns to taste a pill they had found on the floor. Thank God it was just a vitamin pill but it could have been so much worse.
I had a talk with them and gave each 1 swat in the bottom telling them never to do it again and how dangerous it was. I was more scared than angry ( almost in tears before I realized it was only a vitamin) and I think they realized that and finally understood the severity of the "crime". After that, every time they saw a pill (my mum stayed for 3 months) they'd bring it to me saying "we're not allowed to eat these because they are very dangerous".
I do not regret it one bit.

You physically assaulted your children because you and your mother are too lazy to not leave pills laying around? Unbelievable.

You're hysterical- and I mean that in both senses of the word. You also lack reading comprehension skills. I think you need a swat on your bottom. ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

If that were the only thing you do, then you'd be right. Since it's just the punishment portion, it works well as a complement to the teaching aspect. Same as any other punishment, only more effective. If all you ever did was to take away toys and issue timeouts, that wouldn't work, either.

Except a lot of people don't incorporate a teaching component with their punishment. And, if you are an effective teacher in teaching them how to behave, you don't need to hit them as well to get your point across. There are other, better ways to teach your kids how to behave that they can actually learn and grow from instead of blocking out whatever teaching you are trying to do because they are too sidetracked by the fact that you just or are about to HIT them.

Correct, a lot of people don't. A lot just put their kids in timeout and never teach anything. But even people who do teach proper behavior find that they sometimes need to reinforce that with a punishment, whatever form that may take.

Yes, sometimes you do need to reinforce your lesson with a punishment. But why not take the time to learn some appropriate and effective punishments that don't involve hitting or abusing your child? Anything less is lazy parenting. It's easier to hit them than it is to take away a privilege, have them go to time out, ground them, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

If that were the only thing you do, then you'd be right. Since it's just the punishment portion, it works well as a complement to the teaching aspect. Same as any other punishment, only more effective. If all you ever did was to take away toys and issue timeouts, that wouldn't work, either.

Except a lot of people don't incorporate a teaching component with their punishment. And, if you are an effective teacher in teaching them how to behave, you don't need to hit them as well to get your point across. There are other, better ways to teach your kids how to behave that they can actually learn and grow from instead of blocking out whatever teaching you are trying to do because they are too sidetracked by the fact that you just or are about to HIT them.

You can teach them after the spanking. Memory of the spanking will reinforce the teaching.

Doubt it. Memory of the spanking will more likely cause them to: a) not respect you or care what you are trying to teach them because they won't see you as a good role model so why would they care what you have to teach them b) harbor resentment toward you and wish that they could hit you back c) wish that they understood why you felt it was necessary to hit them and wonder if you really love them....or at least those are the reactions that I and my siblings had when our parents hit us.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked as a child.

Spanking is the infliction of pain and humiliation on another person. This is the antithesis of what I want to teach my children about the person I am and the person that I hope they become.

Folks, if mindless obedience is what you are after, then go for it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we spank. It works for our family. It's they calm, measured soanking. Never in anger.

[Anonymous]

If I teach them it's not OK to hit, never to hit, as a child or as an adult...

Why would I hit them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we spank. It works for our family. It's they calm, measured soanking. Never in anger.

Oh, measured and controlled hitting? Got it. Do you teach them they can hit others, as long as they aren't angry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And no one I know around here does

That's what they tell you. You would never suspect our family does. And yet, we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I teach them it's not OK to hit, never to hit, as a child or as an adult...

Why would I hit them?

Because you wouldn't teach them that. There are things that parents are permitted that kids aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And no one I know around here does

That's what they tell you. You would never suspect our family does. And yet, we do.

How nice that no one suspects you of violence against your child.