Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

[Anonymous]

I have swatted their bottoms -twins - because I had warned them to never ever put pills in their mouths if they found one on the floor. My mum was staying with us and, because of her bad eye sight, she'd sometimes miss her mouth and her pill would drop to the floor without her realizing. She was on some heavy duty medication - blood pressure, dementia, heart meds and I lived in terror of them eating them.
I tried to always be there to make sure they all went in her mouth but she'd forget and take them again. I am also on BP meds so the danger wasn't going to end when my mum left.
One day I found my twins huddled in the play room and went to see what they were up to. They were about 3. They were taking it in turns to taste a pill they had found on the floor. Thank God it was just a vitamin pill but it could have been so much worse.
I had a talk with them and gave each 1 swat in the bottom telling them never to do it again and how dangerous it was. I was more scared than angry ( almost in tears before I realized it was only a vitamin) and I think they realized that and finally understood the severity of the "crime". After that, every time they saw a pill (my mum stayed for 3 months) they'd bring it to me saying "we're not allowed to eat these because they are very dangerous".
I do not regret it one bit.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a spanker (yet, haven't felt that we need to), but I do know of one family that uses corporal punishment with their three kids, who are all super well adjusted and well behaved. This entire family is a delight to be with- that's what made me ask them what their discipline methods were in the first place.

For them it's very well thought out. Kids know consequences in advance, which are meted out without anger and with consistency. Both parents are on the same page about when/how the spanking takes place. I believe the punishment is spanking or some variety thereof.
They're elem thru pre-teens now so the jury is still out, but so far they seem like great kids and they're great company.

I still don't think it's for us, but we'll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have swatted their bottoms -twins - because I had warned them to never ever put pills in their mouths if they found one on the floor. My mum was staying with us and, because of her bad eye sight, she'd sometimes miss her mouth and her pill would drop to the floor without her realizing. She was on some heavy duty medication - blood pressure, dementia, heart meds and I lived in terror of them eating them.
I tried to always be there to make sure they all went in her mouth but she'd forget and take them again. I am also on BP meds so the danger wasn't going to end when my mum left.
One day I found my twins huddled in the play room and went to see what they were up to. They were about 3. They were taking it in turns to taste a pill they had found on the floor. Thank God it was just a vitamin pill but it could have been so much worse.
I had a talk with them and gave each 1 swat in the bottom telling them never to do it again and how dangerous it was. I was more scared than angry ( almost in tears before I realized it was only a vitamin) and I think they realized that and finally understood the severity of the "crime". After that, every time they saw a pill (my mum stayed for 3 months) they'd bring it to me saying "we're not allowed to eat these because they are very dangerous".
I do not regret it one bit.

You physically assaulted your children because you and your mother are too lazy to not leave pills laying around? Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked as a kid, and it was terrifying. Also, I realized later that my father was also abusing my mother (they are divorced). Seems like a pretty obvious pattern. Why would you hit a kid?

[Anonymous]

Yes, we do, and it's the over the lap kind.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

I don't do the spanking for punishment or for teaching any lesson. If my son danger himself I will told him not to do it again and if he keep doing it like not stopping when crossing the road near our community area I will pinch a little of his skin. That will teach him the lesson. So far it work very well. Hey I'm Asian ( Tiger Mom),

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Creeppppyyyy.

+1. Impromptu is not at all okay, but at least it's somewhat logical that a parent might lose control. What isn't logical is that an adult might "calmly" call a child over and start hitting them.

How is that illogical?

Not PP, but one who has regretfully spanked in anger. I agree with that PP. To me, spanking humiliates. But if someone spanked (i.e. humiliated) on purpose, with planning, I think that's doubly worse.

And this probably varies by child. I was spanked a lot. Yes, I ended up doing what my parents told me to do to avoid another spanking. But I did not respect them, in the sense of the word that I thought they were people I could admire and look up to, and want to emulate. When someone humiliates me on purpose, I don't think very highly of them at all, and never have.

I disagree, I remember both kinds. The spankings from anger were scary. The calm, you earned a spanking, you're going over my knee kind, well, that was unpleasant, but it wasn't scary and it made sense. I'd much prefer the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a spanker (yet, haven't felt that we need to), but I do know of one family that uses corporal punishment with their three kids, who are all super well adjusted and well behaved. This entire family is a delight to be with- that's what made me ask them what their discipline methods were in the first place.

For them it's very well thought out. Kids know consequences in advance, which are meted out without anger and with consistency. Both parents are on the same page about when/how the spanking takes place. I believe the punishment is spanking or some variety thereof.
They're elem thru pre-teens now so the jury is still out, but so far they seem like great kids and they're great company.

I still don't think it's for us, but we'll see.

How does it take place? And how have you come to learn this information?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would I hit my child...call it what it is: hitting. I'd never hit my child. It's ineffective as a disciplinary tool, since discipline means to teachie to help your child understand the right way to behave. Hitting them does not teach them the right way to behave; it just teaches them what not to do to avoid getting hit.

If that were the only thing you do, then you'd be right. Since it's just the punishment portion, it works well as a complement to the teaching aspect. Same as any other punishment, only more effective. If all you ever did was to take away toys and issue timeouts, that wouldn't work, either.

[Anonymous]

"Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. "

Weird and creepy and pervy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a spanker (yet, haven't felt that we need to), but I do know of one family that uses corporal punishment with their three kids, who are all super well adjusted and well behaved. This entire family is a delight to be with- that's what made me ask them what their discipline methods were in the first place.

For them it's very well thought out. Kids know consequences in advance, which are meted out without anger and with consistency. Both parents are on the same page about when/how the spanking takes place. I believe the punishment is spanking or some variety thereof.
They're elem thru pre-teens now so the jury is still out, but so far they seem like great kids and they're great company.

I still don't think it's for us, but we'll see.

How does it take place? And how have you come to learn this information?

I asked them how they discipline because I've always been impressed with their kids. It's not for all infractions, only major ones. I can't remember which ones specifically as I asked a couple years ago. They've only had to spank much with their oldest, a boy. They said it's rare for their two younger ones, but I don't remember how frequent it's been.

I do think that whatever discipline method this family chose it would have yielded similar results. It's just how the parents are: consistent, reasonable, a united front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. "

Weird and creepy and pervy.

Np. This is what we do, too. Why do you think it's weird?

[Anonymous]

I don't spank.

My kids are pretty well-behaved. We usually talk about what happened and impose a natural consequence.

If they are intentionally disobedient, they are grounded or lose electronic privileges in addition to making apologies and restitution. I think I can count on one hand the number of times this has happened for each and one is now a young adult and no longer being disciplined.