Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have swatted their bottoms -twins - because I had warned them to never ever put pills in their mouths if they found one on the floor. My mum was staying with us and, because of her bad eye sight, she'd sometimes miss her mouth and her pill would drop to the floor without her realizing. She was on some heavy duty medication - blood pressure, dementia, heart meds and I lived in terror of them eating them.
I tried to always be there to make sure they all went in her mouth but she'd forget and take them again. I am also on BP meds so the danger wasn't going to end when my mum left.
One day I found my twins huddled in the play room and went to see what they were up to. They were about 3. They were taking it in turns to taste a pill they had found on the floor. Thank God it was just a vitamin pill but it could have been so much worse.
I had a talk with them and gave each 1 swat in the bottom telling them never to do it again and how dangerous it was. I was more scared than angry ( almost in tears before I realized it was only a vitamin) and I think they realized that and finally understood the severity of the "crime". After that, every time they saw a pill (my mum stayed for 3 months) they'd bring it to me saying "we're not allowed to eat these because they are very dangerous".
I do not regret it one bit.

This is a terrifying story. So, rather than changing the situation (e.g. sitting with your mom when she took the meds so you could make sure she got her neccessary treatment and your children were safe, you hit them and then continued to let your mother and your kids be in danger?

Wow, this is one of the worst examples of parenting I've seen on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Five kids. All adults. We never hit our kids.

It means nothing. You did not spank (or hit as you term it) your kids, but you could be emotional abusive like some non-spanking people.

I neither hit my kids nor was I emotionally abusive. I actually love my children and am an emotionally mature adult who was capable of raising smart, healthy, educated, productive members of society. People who hit (spank) their children are truly monsters

[Anonymous]

As someone who was physically abused and a parent, I have so much love for my child that it sickens me to know that my parents and other parents would consider physical violence against people they are supposed to love to be acceptable. There is no excuse or justification for modeling physical harm as a way to deal with a parent’s anger/frustration or behavioral concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

I’m a mandated reporter. If your child told me you hit (“spank”) them, I would report you and then follow up to be sure you were investigated.

Ok. They're not putting people in jail for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

What they learn is to fear you. And shame. And that physical violence is ok.

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/spanking/why-spanking-bad-idea

More people should feel shame in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

I’m a mandated reporter. If your child told me you hit (“spank”) them, I would report you and then follow up to be sure you were investigated.

Sounds like you need a mandated reporter refresher course. Physical discipline, including spanking, is not considered abuse as long as it’s reasonable and doesn’t cause bodily injury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

What they learn is to fear you. And shame. And that physical violence is ok.

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/spanking/why-spanking-bad-idea

More people should feel shame in this country.

Yes, like adults who are such failures as parents that they strike their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we do, and it's the over the lap kind.

Feel better humiliating your child? I was spanked and I lost respect for my mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we do, and it's the over the lap kind.

Feel better humiliating your child? I was spanked and I lost respect for my mom.

DP. I was spanked by both my parents and have complete and total respect for my parents.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I literally cannot imagine grabbing my kids and hitting them.

I don't know anyone who spanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we do, and it's the over the lap kind.

Feel better humiliating your child? I was spanked and I lost respect for my mom.

DP. I was spanked by both my parents and have complete and total respect for my parents.

Same here.

The point about not in anger means that you’re not spanking in a fit of anger or frustration. You do it as an explained punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spanked DD on the butt probably less than 5 times between the age of 18 mos and 2.5. Now she is almost 3.5 and I have not. She is receptive to time outs and loss of TV or a snack after dinner. I don't intend to now that she is old enough to have some sense of reason.

You did this to an 18 month old?!! Omg. So developmentally inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

The research is in and it does not work. It actually does harm.

I don’t and don’t know anyone else that does either. It’s lazy and bad parenting to just hit a kid to get them to stop doing something. Be a parent—don’t just lash out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was physically abused and a parent, I have so much love for my child that it sickens me to know that my parents and other parents would consider physical violence against people they are supposed to love to be acceptable. There is no excuse or justification for modeling physical harm as a way to deal with a parent’s anger/frustration or behavioral concerns.

I agree. It makes no sense from any perspective. It’s inappropriate to hit someone because you’re angry. It’s also inappropriate to hit someone to “teach them a lesson.” Why are these things are okay to do to children? They’re not. It’s lazy parenting.