Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. This is not something I would ever consider and if my DH did it it would be an immediate divorce.

I was hit as a child. Not often, I can only remember 3 times, but enough that I always felt so much anxiety around my father. I do not want my daughter to experience that.

I also just can't really even understand where spanking comes from. It feels so fundamentally nuts to me. "You did something I didn't like so now I'm going to bring you, a child 1/3 my size, physical harm." WTF?

Maybe it’s… you didn’t listen to me when I said not to run in the parking lot and now I will give you a hand seat so you listen next time and don’t KILL yourself. I just find it so hard to believe any of these vehement anti-spammers are truly empathetic because they are utterly unable to think through their other parents’ thought processes. When my parents spanked me, they didn’t cause “physical harm”… a little pain, but always to reinforce an important lesson.

In any case, divorce would be so much worse for your kid than a spanking.

Why couldn't you hug them instead and tell them how it scared you? wouldn't that also work? If it needs to be physical why does it have to be hitting to enforce an important lesson?

I also don't understand why it's hard for people who accept that different children need different things?

Just like spanking was horrific for some, for others it had very little to no impact on their pysche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. This is not something I would ever consider and if my DH did it it would be an immediate divorce.

I was hit as a child. Not often, I can only remember 3 times, but enough that I always felt so much anxiety around my father. I do not want my daughter to experience that.

I also just can't really even understand where spanking comes from. It feels so fundamentally nuts to me. "You did something I didn't like so now I'm going to bring you, a child 1/3 my size, physical harm." WTF?

Maybe it’s… you didn’t listen to me when I said not to run in the parking lot and now I will give you a hand seat so you listen next time and don’t KILL yourself. I just find it so hard to believe any of these vehement anti-spammers are truly empathetic because they are utterly unable to think through their other parents’ thought processes. When my parents spanked me, they didn’t cause “physical harm”… a little pain, but always to reinforce an important lesson.

In any case, divorce would be so much worse for your kid than a spanking.

Why couldn't you hug them instead and tell them how it scared you? wouldn't that also work? If it needs to be physical why does it have to be hitting to enforce an important lesson?

I also don't understand why it's hard for people who accept that different children need different things?

Just like spanking was horrific for some, for others it had very little to no impact on their pysche.

yes spanking is horrific for some...so why risk it then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. This is not something I would ever consider and if my DH did it it would be an immediate divorce.

I was hit as a child. Not often, I can only remember 3 times, but enough that I always felt so much anxiety around my father. I do not want my daughter to experience that.

I also just can't really even understand where spanking comes from. It feels so fundamentally nuts to me. "You did something I didn't like so now I'm going to bring you, a child 1/3 my size, physical harm." WTF?

Maybe it’s… you didn’t listen to me when I said not to run in the parking lot and now I will give you a hand seat so you listen next time and don’t KILL yourself. I just find it so hard to believe any of these vehement anti-spammers are truly empathetic because they are utterly unable to think through their other parents’ thought processes. When my parents spanked me, they didn’t cause “physical harm”… a little pain, but always to reinforce an important lesson.

In any case, divorce would be so much worse for your kid than a spanking.

Why couldn't you hug them instead and tell them how it scared you? wouldn't that also work? If it needs to be physical why does it have to be hitting to enforce an important lesson?

I also don't understand why it's hard for people who accept that different children need different things?

Just like spanking was horrific for some, for others it had very little to no impact on their pysche.

I also don’t understand why it’s hard for people to accept that no child “needs” to be struck by an adult, at any time, for any reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a pretty agreeable child with a mother who was extremely anxious. Separation was difficult for me, mostly I think b/c I absorbed her anxiety. At times I refused to go to school, and I was beaten. A pretty awful dilemma for a 6 year old.

After a couple of years of this, I remember looking at my mother one morning and realizing I was truly on my own. At age 8.

Physical punishment is the refuge of parents who lack knowledge of child development, empathy, and genuine altruistic love.

This is such an effed up analysis

It’s the truth. Sorry you don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

No, my kids are perfect.

[Anonymous]

I do and I don't apologize for it. I have 2 under 2. I absolutely cannot handle the 5 year old running into the street or other nonsense. Other people's kid's behavior is so bad (shoving kids 6ft off playground equipment, throwing sand in eyes on purpose, assaulting the teacher during class, etc) I will probably actively avoid nonspanking parents and IDGAF. I can close the door on my less than 2 year old and 5 year old and expect them to play without whining for about an hour.

There is a striking correlation between permissive parenting and psychiatric disorders increasing in children.

[Anonymous]

If you spank your kids, they will eventually hit you back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you spank your kids, they will eventually hit you back.

????? No.

[Anonymous]

yes

[Anonymous]

they need to learn its called parenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do and I don't apologize for it. I have 2 under 2. I absolutely cannot handle the 5 year old running into the street or other nonsense. Other people's kid's behavior is so bad (shoving kids 6ft off playground equipment, throwing sand in eyes on purpose, assaulting the teacher during class, etc) I will probably actively avoid nonspanking parents and IDGAF. I can close the door on my less than 2 year old and 5 year old and expect them to play without whining for about an hour.

There is a striking correlation between permissive parenting and psychiatric disorders increasing in children.

My kids behave fine and it isn’t out of fear that I will hit them. There are other ways to accomplish this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was physically abused and a parent, I have so much love for my child that it sickens me to know that my parents and other parents would consider physical violence against people they are supposed to love to be acceptable. There is no excuse or justification for modeling physical harm as a way to deal with a parent’s anger/frustration or behavioral concerns.

I agree. It makes no sense from any perspective. It’s inappropriate to hit someone because you’re angry. It’s also inappropriate to hit someone to “teach them a lesson.” Why are these things are okay to do to children? They’re not. It’s lazy parenting.

Well, except it does make sense. My parents spanked me… I did not and do not consider them to be abusive and … they were NOT lazy. I felt adored by them. To me, spanking was just a consequence for bad behavior I knew in advance was wrong. No different than a time out, and maybe preferable because it was shorter. Ditto for my husband.

100% agree with this

Have you ever heard of the orchid theory? You are likely a dandelion, no matter your environment you would have flourished (within reason). Not every kid is a dandelion. Not spanking is best for ALL kids even though some are not harmed by it,.

Your flower analogy is a totally valid argument.

Its a psychology theory you ignoramus. And a book was written on the subject by a US pediatrician and professor. The fact that you dont know about it, tells me all I need to know about you and your opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was physically abused and a parent, I have so much love for my child that it sickens me to know that my parents and other parents would consider physical violence against people they are supposed to love to be acceptable. There is no excuse or justification for modeling physical harm as a way to deal with a parent’s anger/frustration or behavioral concerns.

I agree. It makes no sense from any perspective. It’s inappropriate to hit someone because you’re angry. It’s also inappropriate to hit someone to “teach them a lesson.” Why are these things are okay to do to children? They’re not. It’s lazy parenting.

Well, except it does make sense. My parents spanked me… I did not and do not consider them to be abusive and … they were NOT lazy. I felt adored by them. To me, spanking was just a consequence for bad behavior I knew in advance was wrong. No different than a time out, and maybe preferable because it was shorter. Ditto for my husband.

100% agree with this

Have you ever heard of the orchid theory? You are likely a dandelion, no matter your environment you would have flourished (within reason). Not every kid is a dandelion. Not spanking is best for ALL kids even though some are not harmed by it,.

Your flower analogy is a totally valid argument.

Its a psychology theory you ignoramus. And a book was written on the subject by a US pediatrician and professor. The fact that you dont know about it, tells me all I need to know about you and your opinions.

And this, folks, is why there's a replication crisis in psychology.

[Anonymous]

No. Sometimes I want to and have to walk away. I hate that I was spanked because now that’s my parenting impulse. Won’t do that to my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was physically abused and a parent, I have so much love for my child that it sickens me to know that my parents and other parents would consider physical violence against people they are supposed to love to be acceptable. There is no excuse or justification for modeling physical harm as a way to deal with a parent’s anger/frustration or behavioral concerns.

I agree. It makes no sense from any perspective. It’s inappropriate to hit someone because you’re angry. It’s also inappropriate to hit someone to “teach them a lesson.” Why are these things are okay to do to children? They’re not. It’s lazy parenting.

Well, except it does make sense. My parents spanked me… I did not and do not consider them to be abusive and … they were NOT lazy. I felt adored by them. To me, spanking was just a consequence for bad behavior I knew in advance was wrong. No different than a time out, and maybe preferable because it was shorter. Ditto for my husband.

100% agree with this

Have you ever heard of the orchid theory? You are likely a dandelion, no matter your environment you would have flourished (within reason). Not every kid is a dandelion. Not spanking is best for ALL kids even though some are not harmed by it,.

Your flower analogy is a totally valid argument.

Its a psychology theory you ignoramus. And a book was written on the subject by a US pediatrician and professor. The fact that you dont know about it, tells me all I need to know about you and your opinions.

And this, folks, is why there's a replication crisis in psychology.

So no facts no arguments just snark. Again. Thanks for contributing to a discussion