Husband tells me to move out every time we argue

[Anonymous]

Don't have kids. If you do, please please please remember not to become a SAHM. I wish I listened to my mother when she told me to continue working 3 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

My ex threatened to deport me over every little thing. Not even an argument or disagreement.
One day finally I said "sure, knock yourself out" and moved out.
Couple of months later after a nut in my stomach disappeared I realized how terrible my life was.
Never moved back - best decision ever.

OP, your husband shows how little you mean to him every time he tells you to move out. It's a form of abuse and control, too.
Don't spend the rest of your life with this man, seriously.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have family or a good friend you can go stay with, until you can save enough money to get your own place? This man is verbally and emotionally abusing you, and you do NOT deserve that or have to take his shit.

Leave him ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered the possibility that he wants you to file for divorce?

Sometimes, spouses become callous because they've given up on the relationship and feel that they have zero incentive to accommodate you. All interactions with them become about them putting up boundaries. There's probably a lot of stuff that let up to this point, but you're just reporting the most recent.

You might just ask him straight-out if he wants a divorce.

I did this. He said I don't know. So that was my answer!

I didn't have a lot of money either so I could only afford a tiny apartment in a more remote section of town where I live...had to budget on everything and my "fun" consisted of walking my dog and sitting on my porch since I couldn't really afford to go out or buy lots of new fun clothes to go out in. But I got to know my neighbors who showed me there are awesome caring people in the world and I learned to love hanging out with myself. I'm now happily getting remarried very soon. It wasn't easy but it was the best darn decision I ever made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. It seems to me that it is affecting your self-esteem. A healthy marriage does not make you feel bad about yourself or create so much anxiety. It sounds like you’ve tried counseling but may be one more shot would be worth it. A very reputable and free organization I’ve heard about is Focus on the Family and they provide free counseling. Their number is: 855-771-HELP. If you find your husband isn’t willing to go or try to work on the issues, I hope you will seek counsel for yourself to determine your next steps. Would it be ok if I prayed for you and your situation? I wish you all the best!

Suzy

Focus on the Family is not a "reputable" organization. It is a well-known Christian right organization that promotes it's agenda - anti-abortion, pro-marriage (unless it's gay marriage, in which case their anti-marriage), pro-religious solutions. They have supported conversion therapy on the basis of junk science, which disqualifies them IMO from being trusted to offer any reliable, evidence-based therapy or advice about relationships. If you would like to be counseled on God's plan for your marriage and sexuality, give 'em a ring.

[Anonymous]

This thread is from 2015. I wonder what happened with OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is from 2015. I wonder what happened with OP?

CRAP I ALWAYS FALL FOR THAT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

Pack a bag. Next time he says it, take yourself to a nice hotel for a weekend, and don't answer your phone.

If she does this, he might not let her move back in

[Anonymous]

My husband did this to me and I did pack my bags in leave

[Anonymous]

I hope she told HIM to move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope she told HIM to move out.

You don't kick out the one who pays the mortgage.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I divorced his sorry ass. I'm much happier now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I divorced his sorry ass. I'm much happier now.

Good for you!! Thanks for the update! You deserve much better.

[Anonymous]

Needless to say the OP is not providing any backstory here. For example, what caused the relationship to deteriorate to the point where he's saying that? Did he start saying that right out of the blue? I highly doubt it. The OP merely wants everyone to sympathize, which necessarily means omitting all mention of blameworthy behavior on her part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Needless to say the OP is not providing any backstory here. For example, what caused the relationship to deteriorate to the point where he's saying that? Did he start saying that right out of the blue? I highly doubt it. The OP merely wants everyone to sympathize, which necessarily means omitting all mention of blameworthy behavior on her part.

You idiot. Try reading the whole thread next time and check the dates