Husband tells me to move out every time we argue

[Anonymous]

My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

[Anonymous]

I think you should move out and "see how he likes it" you might be a lot happier too.

Really sorry you are going through this. He is emotionally beating you down with the threat of a breakup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

Pack a bag. Next time he says it, take yourself to a nice hotel for a weekend, and don't answer your phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should move out and "see how he likes it" you might be a lot happier too.

Really sorry you are going through this. He is emotionally beating you down with the threat of a breakup.

+1! This is really severe. It has to stop.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? If no, this guy sounds like an asshole. I would definitely "leave" next time. Do you have access to your own money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? If no, this guy sounds like an asshole. I would definitely "leave" next time. Do you have access to your own money?

No kids and not much money.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god he sounds horrible. Please, for the love of God, do NOT have kids with this man!

[Anonymous]

Dump the asshole.

[Anonymous]

Get an annulment and start over.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Just wondering, do you lose things a lot or disorganized in general? If so, maybe it wasn't about the keys but about putting out fires. If this is the case, you need to examine your own behavior.

If not, I can empathize. My husband argues in a similar way. Not to the extreme of your DH, but if I make a point about something, he will bring up something else to deflect. Don't fall into the trap by responding or escalating the argument.

[Anonymous]

Dump him. Get out NOW. You deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? If no, this guy sounds like an asshole. I would definitely "leave" next time. Do you have access to your own money?

No kids and not much money.

Nothing to lose then.

However, maybe he is hurting himself and is too proud to say it?

[Anonymous]

My DH did this for many years too. I finally told him over a period of two years that his threats were not valid and that we needed to come to a resolution. I gave him this time because we have 2 kids and I didn't want to break up the family.

BUT - if I had no kids, I would hit that door ASAP. Get out, girl. Run! You will find someone else who really wants you there.

[Anonymous]

You deserve better. Really. Get the courage to leave. . Don't vent. Act. You have no kids with him and your own job (financially independent)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

Pack a bag. Next time he says it, take yourself to a nice hotel for a weekend, and don't answer your phone.

And by all means, have an affair.