Husband tells me to move out every time we argue

[Anonymous]

he treats you like shit, counseling didn't work, and you dont have kids?

I would just leave. Pack my bags, get out. HE's already told you that either you take his crap or you can leave. So, leave.

but before you do, pls see a lawyer to figure out your financial issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

Pack a bag. Next time he says it, take yourself to a nice hotel for a weekend, and don't answer your phone.

Pack an bag for him and hand it to him the next time he says to get out.

[Anonymous]

The fuck? Move out of your own home?

Nah. No way no how.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, sorry you're going through this. I had the same deal with my husband, then stupidly had a child with him. I wish I could go back in time and leave him when things were "simple" - no child, small townhouse. I had a list of reasons for not leaving him at the time, and now I look back and see that they were all ridiculous.

If you're not ready to make the jump, start by doing some prep work. Meet with any attorney or two. Most will do a short initial consultation free of charge. Let the attorney know what your concerns are - financial and otherwise. You might be in a better place than you think. Start looking at small apartments - price a tiny efficiency in a decent building. You don't need much space for one person and remember, it'll be temporary.

[Anonymous]

No kids? I would have been gone the first time he pulled that crap. Being broke makes getting a divorce slight easier in that you aren't fighting over anything in terms of money.

OP, you need to put three months of living expenses in a separate account. Once that's there, just wait until the next blow up, pack your bags and go into the sunset.

Do not get pregnant. It will not end well. You will be stuck with this jerk forever.

[Anonymous]

He obviously wants your marriage to end but doesn't want to be the one to pull the trigger on a seperation/divorce, so he constantly dares you to make the first move. One this is for sure, he does not value your marriage and after 8 years of marriage (and I assume some dating time prior to that) and no kids, you really should not waste more time trying to salvage something that is already gone. He is not your partner and he is not someone you can depend upon...you were stranded at work and getting him to pick you up was so difficult! That sucks. If you like where you live, ask him to leave. If you can envision a new path for yourself, then you do the leaving. But don't stay in this sham of a marriage. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He obviously wants your marriage to end but doesn't want to be the one to pull the trigger on a seperation/divorce, so he constantly dares you to make the first move.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Slightly similar situation--my SIL used to threaten to get a divorce every time she and my BIL had an argument. Finally, he told her that the next time she said that, he was going to file for divorce. If she didn't really mean it, she shouldn't say it, and he basically told her he was going to call her bluff. She stopped saying it.

I might try something like that--call it the one warning. Get your ducks in order, and the next time he says that, tell him you're going to call his bluff. Give him one chance to stop talking like that. If he doesn't, leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband of 8 years tells me "so go live by yourself if you don't like the way I treat you" every time I try to talk to him about some shitty thing he said to me. The latest happened today. I misplaced my keys at work. I looked for nearly 30 minutes and could not find them. I called him for a ride and he got pissed and said that he is sick of me doing things like this. I have never lost my keys and have never called him to bring me a spare key. Ever.
I told him later that I didn't appreciate being treated the way he treated me and he told me "if you don't like it, you can move out on your own and you won't have to deal with it." That is his solution to every problem. He doesn't want to talk about any of our problems, so he pulls this shit on me.
We tried counselling, but it obviously didn't take.
I'm constantly on edge, feel anxious all the time and feel generally inadequate with most things that I do because of this.
I don't really have a question. I just need to vent.

Pack a bag. Next time he says it, take yourself to a nice hotel for a weekend, and don't answer your phone.

And by all means, have an affair.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he treats you like shit, counseling didn't work, and you dont have kids?

I would just leave. Pack my bags, get out. HE's already told you that either you take his crap or you can leave. So, leave.

but before you do, pls see a lawyer to figure out your financial issues.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

OP, all this drama because you are so disorganized you can't keep track of your keys?

The solution is to get an extra set of keys, not to move out.

[Anonymous]

Wow.

So many stupid, infantile answers on this thread.

If an immature man says "Move out" the solution is to move out????

What if her husband said "Stab yourself with a steak knife if you don't like it," you'd all be telling OP to do that???

You people are FUCKED UP little children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow.

So many stupid, infantile answers on this thread.

If an immature man says "Move out" the solution is to move out????

What if her husband said "Stab yourself with a steak knife if you don't like it," you'd all be telling OP to do that???

You people are FUCKED UP little children.

If her husband says "Stab yourself with a steak knife if you don't like it" she should also move out. And file a restraining order.

[Anonymous]

No kids?!!?!
Get out!
Just leave!
Oh how I wish I would have ended things with my asshole husband before kids.
Please, listen to me.
Leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow.

So many stupid, infantile answers on this thread.

If an immature man says "Move out" the solution is to move out????

What if her husband said "Stab yourself with a steak knife if you don't like it," you'd all be telling OP to do that???

You people are FUCKED UP little children.

I think you missed the point. If someone wants to play the emotional blackmail game, it's time to move out.