Husband tells me to move out every time we argue

[Anonymous]

Do not have kids with him- you will love your children morethan anything in the world and do not eat them growing up around this. If you divorce is this who you want taking care of them 50% of the time? Pack your bag and have it ready and leave without a word after he says it and don’t answer his calls for awhile

[Anonymous]

This thread is from 2015. The OP got a divorce 3 years ago. See 11:53 on page 5.

[Anonymous]

Take his advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Just wondering, do you lose things a lot or disorganized in general? If so, maybe it wasn't about the keys but about putting out fires. If this is the case, you need to examine your own behavior.

If not, I can empathize. My husband argues in a similar way. Not to the extreme of your DH, but if I make a point about something, he will bring up something else to deflect. Don't fall into the trap by responding or escalating the argument.

This has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Frustration with disorganization is a separate issue from him telling her to move out every time they have a conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. It seems to me that it is affecting your self-esteem. A healthy marriage does not make you feel bad about yourself or create so much anxiety. It sounds like you’ve tried counseling but may be one more shot would be worth it. A very reputable and free organization I’ve heard about is Focus on the Family and they provide free counseling. Their number is: 855-771-HELP. If you find your husband isn’t willing to go or try to work on the issues, I hope you will seek counsel for yourself to determine your next steps. Would it be ok if I prayed for you and your situation? I wish you all the best!

Suzy

Focus on the Family is not a "reputable" organization. It is a well-known Christian right organization that promotes it's agenda - anti-abortion, pro-marriage (unless it's gay marriage, in which case their anti-marriage), pro-religious solutions. They have supported conversion therapy on the basis of junk science, which disqualifies them IMO from being trusted to offer any reliable, evidence-based therapy or advice about relationships. If you would like to be counseled on God's plan for your marriage and sexuality, give 'em a ring.

As opposed to, say, Planned Parenthood, which promotes its agenda of abortion?

FOTF does a LOT of good for a lot of people. If you don't like it, fine, but you have no business slamming them in this manner. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I know this post is old but am posting in case others search fo this.

I’m not the original person who slammed FOTF above, but I’m a Christian who agrees with that post. The conservative Christian world and leadership really dropped the ball when it came to protecting women and I wouldn’t trust them with a 10-foot pole near my marriage. Their one trick they have up their sleeve is to tell women to just buck up, pray for their husband, soothe theirs egos and one day their husband will magically be nicer through the miracle of prayer. Which is BS. That’s what happens when women have no voice or leadership roles. Run away from FOTF. There are many other places that offer real marriage counseling. Some Imago counselors are Christian (if that is what you are looking for) and their approach is much more balanced.

Praying for people’s marriages is good and all but we also have to hold abusive men accountable.

[Anonymous]

Definitely move next time he says it. Do NOT get pregnant. You can live your life happily alone or find a partner who is kind. If he can’t be kind to you, under no circumstances should you waste any more of your life with him.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to think better of yourself. You are in anabusive relationship. You are the one that can get out of this relationship. The only reason that you’re still in it maybe because you feel like you deserve it. YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT. No one deserves it. Pack a bag, leave and file for divorce. Otherwise your life will be absolutely miserable. I don’t think you want that.

[Anonymous]

This post is 5 YEARS OLD!! Either he's kicked her out by now, or they've worked it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? If no, this guy sounds like an asshole. I would definitely "leave" next time. Do you have access to your own money?

No kids and not much money.

Just pack your bags and leave. He doesn’t see an issue with his behavior and having kids will just make it worse. Leave now.