AMA: I am a high achiever raised by awful parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a HE OP?

I don't know what that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a HE OP?

I don't know what that is.

OP again, are you asking about my gender? I thought "HE" was an acronym.

[Anonymous]

Do your parents still try to contact you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a HE OP?

I don't know what that is.

OP again, are you asking about my gender? I thought "HE" was an acronym.

Yes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Heart-warming, OP. Congratulations for all the heard work you and your siblings did, and I'm sorry about the hardships you endured.

My husband is a war refugee. His parents immigrated with nothing, and his mother had to go looking for work, and locked her 3 sons in a room for the day, with a bucket to pee in. They were toddlers and preschoolers. Their father was bipolar. DH played with matches and nearly set fire to the house. They all ended up with multiple graduate degrees and successful lives. The difference is that their mother was loving and cared about their education.

Thank you. I am glad your husband is doing well. My parents survived war, civil unrest, and losing everything too. No doubt that worsened their issues (and maybe caused them in the case of my borderline mother).

Ok - now I really need to know WHAT war, WHAT civil unrest and WHERE did they lose everything? If it is OP saying it might explain a lot of the story background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your parents still try to contact you?

Yes, all the time. In fact, they try to contact me while continuing to rant and berate me for heaven knows what. They are the ones who have acted out against me with malice from birth. I have blocked so many phone numbers, email addresses, aliases. They keep popping up to call me and my spouse names and demand to be part of my life and to enjoy my financial support. Can't say I understand them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Heart-warming, OP. Congratulations for all the heard work you and your siblings did, and I'm sorry about the hardships you endured.

My husband is a war refugee. His parents immigrated with nothing, and his mother had to go looking for work, and locked her 3 sons in a room for the day, with a bucket to pee in. They were toddlers and preschoolers. Their father was bipolar. DH played with matches and nearly set fire to the house. They all ended up with multiple graduate degrees and successful lives. The difference is that their mother was loving and cared about their education.

Thank you. I am glad your husband is doing well. My parents survived war, civil unrest, and losing everything too. No doubt that worsened their issues (and maybe caused them in the case of my borderline mother).

Ok - now I really need to know WHAT war, WHAT civil unrest and WHERE did they lose everything? If it is OP saying it might explain a lot of the story background. [/quote
Yes, the post you are quoting is me, OP. I keep forgetting to identify myself. My parents are from a foreign country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Heart-warming, OP. Congratulations for all the heard work you and your siblings did, and I'm sorry about the hardships you endured.

My husband is a war refugee. His parents immigrated with nothing, and his mother had to go looking for work, and locked her 3 sons in a room for the day, with a bucket to pee in. They were toddlers and preschoolers. Their father was bipolar. DH played with matches and nearly set fire to the house. They all ended up with multiple graduate degrees and successful lives. The difference is that their mother was loving and cared about their education.

Thank you. I am glad your husband is doing well. My parents survived war, civil unrest, and losing everything too. No doubt that worsened their issues (and maybe caused them in the case of my borderline mother).

Ok - now I really need to know WHAT war, WHAT civil unrest and WHERE did they lose everything? If it is OP saying it might explain a lot of the story background.

Yes, the post you are quoting is me, OP. I keep forgetting to identify myself. My parents are from a foreign country.

[Anonymous]

Two questions: what is your profression and are you a man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Heart-warming, OP. Congratulations for all the heard work you and your siblings did, and I'm sorry about the hardships you endured.

My husband is a war refugee. His parents immigrated with nothing, and his mother had to go looking for work, and locked her 3 sons in a room for the day, with a bucket to pee in. They were toddlers and preschoolers. Their father was bipolar. DH played with matches and nearly set fire to the house. They all ended up with multiple graduate degrees and successful lives. The difference is that their mother was loving and cared about their education.

Thank you. I am glad your husband is doing well. My parents survived war, civil unrest, and losing everything too. No doubt that worsened their issues (and maybe caused them in the case of my borderline mother).

Ok - now I really need to know WHAT war, WHAT civil unrest and WHERE did they lose everything? If it is OP saying it might explain a lot of the story background. [/quote
Yes, the post you are quoting is me, OP. I keep forgetting to identify myself. My parents are from a foreign country.

Hey - not fair! You start the AMA thread but then answer with super evasive "foreign country". Hmmmmmmmmm...

[Anonymous]

Would like to know your ethnicity OP

[Anonymous]

Several more answers in the similar vein and more "skipped" pertinent questions and I'm calling a troll.
But I'll wait a couple more pages...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several more answers in the similar vein and more "skipped" pertinent questions and I'm calling a troll.
But I'll wait a couple more pages...

OP: My goal is to answer questions, but not to the point of outing myself. If you will not be satisfied unless I give you demographic information that can narrow down who I am, then you will just have to call me a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+1

Thank you, OP. I think that letting your children know about the mental illness is important. My DH comes from a family that makes mine look normal (which says much). They don't own their shit, in any way. It really does bite them in the arse. DH has put me through hell, by way of his lack of emotion - just like his mother. I knew I hated her, and the person she is, and the facade; but after decades, I am starting to hate who DH is for the same qualities (or lack thereof).

I admire how you are handling all of this stuff you didn't ask for, and all of this stuff that was not your fault. I won't divulge choice details in my life, not because they are that juicy - but simply because I would feel judged. That is what I am surrounded by, unfortunately - the vapid, shallow, inexperienced and naive would never get it. I don't want my kids to feel judged. As it is, some people have led themselves to believe that my life is opposite what it is, IRL (not by actually knowing me!) - so, what is the point in trying to change their minds. Do you ever feel that way?

People assume things about me all the time. They think that where I am now socioeconomically/familially is where I always was, and they don't see or want to acknowledge the years of determination and hard work that have made me who I am. It is both tiring and thrilling. On some level, you know you have arrived when people look at you and can't imagine you were ever not polished, rich, and successful. I rarely make assumptions about others because I know how many assumptions about me are untrue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1

Thank you, OP. I think that letting your children know about the mental illness is important. My DH comes from a family that makes mine look normal (which says much). They don't own their shit, in any way. It really does bite them in the arse. DH has put me through hell, by way of his lack of emotion - just like his mother. I knew I hated her, and the person she is, and the facade; but after decades, I am starting to hate who DH is for the same qualities (or lack thereof).

I admire how you are handling all of this stuff you didn't ask for, and all of this stuff that was not your fault. I won't divulge choice details in my life, not because they are that juicy - but simply because I would feel judged. That is what I am surrounded by, unfortunately - the vapid, shallow, inexperienced and naive would never get it. I don't want my kids to feel judged. As it is, some people have led themselves to believe that my life is opposite what it is, IRL (not by actually knowing me!) - so, what is the point in trying to change their minds. Do you ever feel that way?

People assume things about me all the time. They think that where I am now socioeconomically/familially is where I always was, and they don't see or want to acknowledge the years of determination and hard work that have made me who I am. It is both tiring and thrilling. On some level, you know you have arrived when people look at you and can't imagine you were ever not polished, rich, and successful. I rarely make assumptions about others because I know how many assumptions about me are untrue.

Also, OP here again, I, too, do not want my children judged. There are a lot of mean, judgmental people in the world who would smear everyone in a family with the same brush just because some members are dysfunctional.