I've been unknowingly dating a transgender man

[Anonymous]

Who uses the term "slugged" in 2015?

[Anonymous]

The cruelty towards the OP in this thread is disappointing. He feels violated, out of sorts and thrown for a loop. He was molested as a child.

Yes, lets all call him homophobic, make fun of his choice of words and tell him he should get over it.

"Be a good little girl, he just slapped your ass, you were wearing a short skirt, that doesn't make you a slut but it also doesn't mean you can cry about it like some rape victim."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And btw I'm not going to out him because i don't think he meant to hurt me. The problem is really considers himself a woman, so he doesn't feel the need to say anything because he's a woman. That's messed up if the other party doesn't known that. Is this going to be the new normal now??!

I don't think it's going to be the new normal. Few people want to make someone feel the way you feel now.

Stop calling this person HIM. She was born with a penis and I know the penis bothers you. But she presents herself and lives her life as a woman. Many of us are appreciating your anger but your unwillingness to use the right pronoun is making it more difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cruelty towards the OP in this thread is disappointing. He feels violated, out of sorts and thrown for a loop. He was molested as a child.

Yes, lets all call him homophobic, make fun of his choice of words and tell him he should get over it.

"Be a good little girl, he just slapped your ass, you were wearing a short skirt, that doesn't make you a slut but it also doesn't mean you can cry about it like some rape victim."

Yeah, no one is saying that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cruelty towards the OP in this thread is disappointing. He feels violated, out of sorts and thrown for a loop. He was molested as a child.

Yes, lets all call him homophobic, make fun of his choice of words and tell him he should get over it.

"Be a good little girl, he just slapped your ass, you were wearing a short skirt, that doesn't make you a slut but it also doesn't mean you can cry about it like some rape victim."

Yeah, no one is saying that.

Have you read the thread?

Hes homophobic, violent, needs therapy, "who says slugged in 2015" and been told over and over to get over it.

[Anonymous]

TROLL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cruelty towards the OP in this thread is disappointing. He feels violated, out of sorts and thrown for a loop. He was molested as a child.

Yes, lets all call him homophobic, make fun of his choice of words and tell him he should get over it.

"Be a good little girl, he just slapped your ass, you were wearing a short skirt, that doesn't make you a slut but it also doesn't mean you can cry about it like some rape victim."

Yeah, no one is saying that.

Have you read the thread?

Hes homophobic, violent, needs therapy, "who says slugged in 2015" and been told over and over to get over it.

No, we didn't say that. Plenty of people have acknowledged that it's understandable to be upset. We just disagree that it's a worse violation than other lies, which is what OP has been arguing (eg, legal action).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And btw I'm not going to out him because i don't think he meant to hurt me. The problem is really considers himself a woman, so he doesn't feel the need to say anything because he's a woman. That's messed up if the other party doesn't known that. Is this going to be the new normal now??!

I don't think it's going to be the new normal. Few people want to make someone feel the way you feel now.

Stop calling this person HIM. She was born with a penis and I know the penis bothers you. But she presents herself and lives her life as a woman. Many of us are appreciating your anger but your unwillingness to use the right pronoun is making it more difficult.

he explicitly told me this evening that he was a man. He's a man. He violated my freaking space. F*** the PC shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a woman here would have a problem with a woman fending off an unwanted sexual advance forcefully if necessary. He did not do that. He has understandable feelings of violation of trust and his person. That is not homophobia.

This.

Also have a bit of compassion and empathy. This just happened, he feels violated and he is venting. If this were a female, the responses would be very different.

The issue I have with OP is that he's treating it like some special level of violation, that it's somehow worse than any other time someone lies to another person to get them in bed, and that there should be some heightened level of consequence for this person as compared to people who lie about other things. It's just not, no matter how upset OP may be.

There are no levels to feeling violated and OP has giving no indication that he feels this is some special snowflake issue just for him. This also goes beyond just lying to get someone in bed, this is deceiving a person into being a sexuality they are not. Just like a transgender man doesn't want to be forced to be female or a homosexual man forced to make out with a ciswoman.

First, OP had said he thinks it's worse. Second, this doesn't make OP gay. His sexuality is exactly as it was before this encounter. Kissing a girl in college did not make me a lesbian, as much as at times I wish it had.

And I agreed it was worse than just lying about being married. This is STD level type lying and its a violation. The examples I gave were not about "turning" someone gay - they were about forcing someone to be something they are not against their will.

It would be like a guy finding out that the costumed woman he had been making out with all night at the masquerade party is (Surprise!) his mother! Not an encounter that he would ever knowingly consent to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a woman here would have a problem with a woman fending off an unwanted sexual advance forcefully if necessary. He did not do that. He has understandable feelings of violation of trust and his person. That is not homophobia.

This.

Also have a bit of compassion and empathy. This just happened, he feels violated and he is venting. If this were a female, the responses would be very different.

The issue I have with OP is that he's treating it like some special level of violation, that it's somehow worse than any other time someone lies to another person to get them in bed, and that there should be some heightened level of consequence for this person as compared to people who lie about other things. It's just not, no matter how upset OP may be.

There are no levels to feeling violated and OP has giving no indication that he feels this is some special snowflake issue just for him. This also goes beyond just lying to get someone in bed, this is deceiving a person into being a sexuality they are not. Just like a transgender man doesn't want to be forced to be female or a homosexual man forced to make out with a ciswoman.

First, OP had said he thinks it's worse. Second, this doesn't make OP gay. His sexuality is exactly as it was before this encounter. Kissing a girl in college did not make me a lesbian, as much as at times I wish it had.

And I agreed it was worse than just lying about being married. This is STD level type lying and its a violation. The examples I gave were not about "turning" someone gay - they were about forcing someone to be something they are not against their will.

It would be like a guy finding out that the costumed woman he had been making out with all night at the masquerade party is (Surprise!) his mother! Not an encounter that he would ever knowingly consent to.

Just like how I would never knowingly consent to making out with a married man. You keep saying these things are different, yet all the examples apply equally.

[Anonymous]

No they don't and you saying they do over and over doesn't make it so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And btw I'm not going to out him because i don't think he meant to hurt me. The problem is really considers himself a woman, so he doesn't feel the need to say anything because he's a woman. That's messed up if the other party doesn't known that. Is this going to be the new normal now??!

I don't think it's going to be the new normal. Few people want to make someone feel the way you feel now.

Stop calling this person HIM. She was born with a penis and I know the penis bothers you. But she presents herself and lives her life as a woman. Many of us are appreciating your anger but your unwillingness to use the right pronoun is making it more difficult.

Well, there is the penis, and then the DNA thing.

[Anonymous]

One is an existential lie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cruelty towards the OP in this thread is disappointing. He feels violated, out of sorts and thrown for a loop. He was molested as a child.

Yes, lets all call him homophobic, make fun of his choice of words and tell him he should get over it.

"Be a good little girl, he just slapped your ass, you were wearing a short skirt, that doesn't make you a slut but it also doesn't mean you can cry about it like some rape victim."

Yeah, no one is saying that.

Have you read the thread?

Hes homophobic, violent, needs therapy, "who says slugged in 2015" and been told over and over to get over it.

No, we didn't say that. Plenty of people have acknowledged that it's understandable to be upset. We just disagree that it's a worse violation than other lies, which is what OP has been arguing (eg, legal action).

Who is "we"? Are you referring to a royal we or do you have DID? Because... the "wes" in this thread have said:
"However you are an asshole of epic proportions for wanting to slug, sue, and shame her on social media. "

"OP you sound like your homophobic."

"It was in no way against his will."

"I call bullshit. "

"That's what he said amirite? "

"You either have anger issues in general, or you're homophobic, or both. "

"Yeah. You're not all there. This isn't the huge deal you're making it out to be, OP."

"Who uses the term "slugged" in 2015?"

Now think if OP was a woman and felt violated, lied to and forced into intimacy against her will.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is not a state of being it is a legal arrangement