Friends find my husband undesirable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop all the gushing about him? That's kind of weird.

Why? I don't gush just randomly. I just tell my friends when he brings me breakfast in bed or brings me surprise flowers.

Do you post it on FB? Because it never happened if you didn't

Maybe you go on a little too much, maybe your friends (and you) are a little too immature.
Bottom line - if you love - why the heck do you care what anyone else thinks?

I have known a few people who go on endlessly about how 'fabulous' their husbands are - it always sounds to me like they are trying to convince themselves- why the heck would I give a hoot? It honestly sounds like your friends are no so subtly dropping hints that they hear this too much from you. Think about it.

I do post it on social media...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but saying "he's your dream guy but I would never date him" doesn't sound harsh to me. Your husband isn't on the market anyway, nor do you want your friends to be pining after him, so I don't get what the beef is there.

And if he cancels plans last minute every time it rains, well then they are being polite by calling that "funny" behavior. There are less understanding ways to describe it, and they're choosing to appreciate the humor of the situation.

I think it's weird that you want your friends to desire your husband. It's like you're mad that they're not jealous of you.

I don't want my friends to actively desire and pursue my husband. I want them to respect him and admire him because he is a good man. They just make fun of him and don't take him seriously. I think it has to do with the fact that their men are older and more established while he is just in his mid twenties. So they automatically think he's immature.

You want them to admire your husband? I hope that means you also expect you husband to admire your friends. That's kind of a strange sentiment.

[Anonymous]

Seriously OP, WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE??!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but saying "he's your dream guy but I would never date him" doesn't sound harsh to me. Your husband isn't on the market anyway, nor do you want your friends to be pining after him, so I don't get what the beef is there.

And if he cancels plans last minute every time it rains, well then they are being polite by calling that "funny" behavior. There are less understanding ways to describe it, and they're choosing to appreciate the humor of the situation.

I think it's weird that you want your friends to desire your husband. It's like you're mad that they're not jealous of you.

I don't want my friends to actively desire and pursue my husband. I want them to respect him and admire him because he is a good man. They just make fun of him and don't take him seriously. I think it has to do with the fact that their men are older and more established while he is just in his mid twenties. So they automatically think he's immature.

You titled the thread that your friends don't find him desirable, so that makes it sound like it's your #1 complaints. In the OP, you don't include anything insulting or belittling - perhaps it's all in the tone and delivery, rather than the words that are actually said - but based on the information you've given us, it all reads as a complaint that your friends don't desire your husband, and instead just think he's great for you. To me, that's actually exactly how it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but saying "he's your dream guy but I would never date him" doesn't sound harsh to me. Your husband isn't on the market anyway, nor do you want your friends to be pining after him, so I don't get what the beef is there.

And if he cancels plans last minute every time it rains, well then they are being polite by calling that "funny" behavior. There are less understanding ways to describe it, and they're choosing to appreciate the humor of the situation.

I think it's weird that you want your friends to desire your husband. It's like you're mad that they're not jealous of you.

I don't want my friends to actively desire and pursue my husband. I want them to respect him and admire him because he is a good man. They just make fun of him and don't take him seriously. I think it has to do with the fact that their men are older and more established while he is just in his mid twenties. So they automatically think he's immature.

You're going to have to get over this. They don't respect him or admire him. It likely has nothing to do with his age. You DO respect and admire him though, so that will just have to be enough. You didn't pick the "cool guy", but i'm sure you knew that when you married him, so don't worry about it now.

[Anonymous]

OP, lots of good advice on here, but just one little story:

I had the desirable husband. One of my friends desired him right into bed.

Sometimes, it's nice to know privately what you have is more special than anyone else needs to have/know.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they are just teasing you, and that you also gush about him too much.

This is really not a problem. Don't you have anything else to worry about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop all the gushing about him? That's kind of weird.

Why? I don't gush just randomly. I just tell my friends when he brings me breakfast in bed or brings me surprise flowers.

Do you post it on FB? Because it never happened if you didn't

Maybe you go on a little too much, maybe your friends (and you) are a little too immature.
Bottom line - if you love - why the heck do you care what anyone else thinks?

I have known a few people who go on endlessly about how 'fabulous' their husbands are - it always sounds to me like they are trying to convince themselves- why the heck would I give a hoot? It honestly sounds like your friends are no so subtly dropping hints that they hear this too much from you. Think about it.

I do post it on social media...

Honestly- I would probably advise laying off social media with the praise for a while. Save it for b-days and anniversaries....

If someone asks how your hubby is doing - answer honestly - but remember to show interest in their lives.

If no one asks about hubby - don't offer - at least not for a while...

Don't force him on your friends - they will eventually come around (or maybe they won't) but they don't want to hear the gushing every time they talk to you...it gets old....

PS The people who have to declare their love and post how fabulous their husbands/wives are on FB - are usually doing it for show. The few I have known that do this- usually end up divorced....hard to keep up appearances. If you love him, that is all that matters. Be secure in your love for him. THAT is what people admire.

[Anonymous]

Be glad they would not be interested in dating him. Do you want competition? Think he was made for you and you only.

[Anonymous]

Fist-bumps and high-fives to all the ladies who love and are loved by adorable dorky, quirky men! *bump* *slap*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound weird, OP, and frankly so does your husband.

+1

You're weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP, WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE??!

Lol, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP, WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE??!

I think OP is a mail-order-bride who doesn't have her license or a troll b/c I'm having a hard time picturing someone who is so blatantly insipid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP, WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE??!

I think OP is a mail-order-bride who doesn't have her license or a troll b/c I'm having a hard time picturing someone who is so blatantly insipid.

I don't think OP is necessarily either of these things, I think she may just be lacking social skills, and the ability to read social cues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP, WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE??!

I think OP is a mail-order-bride who doesn't have her license or a troll b/c I'm having a hard time picturing someone who is so blatantly insipid.

I don't think OP is necessarily either of these things, I think she may just be lacking social skills, and the ability to read social cues.

Or just simply read. People have asked her this multiple times.