Friends find my husband undesirable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop all the gushing about him? That's kind of weird.

Why? I don't gush just randomly. I just tell my friends when he brings me breakfast in bed or brings me surprise flowers.

OP, do these friends have a history of being nasty/condescending to you on other topics? Or does it seem to be limited to just this one? If it's the latter, they're just not good friends and it's probably time to move on. If it's the latter, I think you need to look at the broader dynamic to see what you might be contributing as well. It could be that they're irritated that you seem to always bring the conversation back to bragging about your husband, perhaps especially in comparison to theirs, and they're essentially responding in kind by comparing your husband disfavorably to theirs. "Eddie sent me the nicest flowers for our anniversary, I was so surprised because he's not usually one for sending flowers." "Oh, that's so sweet of him. My husband is constantly sending me flowers, he knows I like them so surprises me with them all the time." It's also possible that you're mis-perceiving the nature of their comments, and that they're just kind of ribbing your husband a bit the same way they do their own, and it's not actually meant to insult him any more than they mean to insult their own husbands by joking about their quirks.

This, precisely. Listen to this PP, OP. It makes a lot of sense. Option 1 = ditch them, bad competitive "friendship". Option 2 = you may be the one bringing the competitive dynamic and they are shutting you off. I have a friend like that, she is not mean and wouldn't say anything negative about me but she just bragstoo much in a very innocent way. I wouldn't mind if she was choosing her moments better. But she does it in relation to what I just said: if I complain about something she would say "Oh my DH would never do that yada yada yada", if I say something nice about my DH she says "Oh mine did something even nicer yada yada yada". It is subtle, not mean, but very irritating. And it makes me react in a way that I don't like myself (instead of being happy for her I tend to ignore or question her point...).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your friends are being incredibly disrespectful, but I think you're a little bit too concerned with your friends finding your husband attractive, based on the 2 threads you've posted about this so far. Get new friends and work on being more secure in your relationship.

I LOVE THIS!

[Anonymous]

Again: Women are their own worst enemy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again: Women are their own worst enemy.

You mean "insecure idiots are their own worst enemy"

[Anonymous]

You aren't going to make any new friends if you keep cancelling plans because of the weather. How completely rude and annoying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the previous threads?

It was called something like: would you find this insulting? I don't see it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the previous threads?

It was called something like: would you find this insulting? I don't see it now.

It was deleted.

[Anonymous]

You sound weird, OP, and frankly so does your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of sick of having to hear unflattering comments about my husband. He is sweet and gentle and erudite with boyish good looks. He's also a little dorky and not the most smooth person in the room in social situations. I absolutely adore him and gush about him to my friends. They always respond with, " oh yeah he's your dream guy but I would never date him!"

They also like to sort of make fun of him for his quirks. He has poor visibility driving in rain for example and cancels social obligations due to the weather. My friends make comments like " oh John! He's so funny!"

I don't like that condescending attitude and am beginning to resent it. Am I wrong to be upset?

This seems like the nicest possible response to someone cancelling plans do to the weather. Why can't you drive? Or you can take public transportation/cabs?

[Anonymous]

Who cares if your husband is desirable?

Do people really think this way?

Why would you want anyone else desiring your husband?

I think in many circles, it's normal for friends to joke about each other's little quirks. You sound a little sensitive. And yes, maybe they're sick of your gushing about your husband. I know I'd get irritated if someone was bragging all the time.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You've just learned the first rule between grown-up friends: don't over-share about your significant others, or only if you've reached a certain level of maturity (which you haven't). LESS IS MORE.

Please don't gush - it's highly annoying. Sharing little bits of info over a long period of time is fine. Don't continually give feedback about other's spouses - it's terribly rude.

[Anonymous]

They aren't your friends, OP. They probably talk about you similarly behind your back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop all the gushing about him? That's kind of weird.

Why? I don't gush just randomly. I just tell my friends when he brings me breakfast in bed or brings me surprise flowers.

That's pretty random.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you and your friends like to one-up each other.

If you and your group would stop comparing/bragging/wanting to impress - you would have more mature discussions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop all the gushing about him? That's kind of weird.

Why? I don't gush just randomly. I just tell my friends when he brings me breakfast in bed or brings me surprise flowers.

That's pretty random.

Seriously. This is not information that I share with my friends. They don't care.