Friends find my husband undesirable

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine anyone making such rude comments in real life. I would immediately drop a,friend who spoke of my DH that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the previous threads?

It was called something like: would you find this insulting? I don't see it now.

It was deleted.

Why was it deleted??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop gushing about your husband it is annoying. The no driving in the rain thing is weird. Why do you have to cancel plans, why can't you drive?

I have a friend whose husband always cancels for stupid reasons, and we do joke about it but not to her face. We never expect him to show up, but are happy when he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of sick of having to hear unflattering comments about my husband. He is sweet and gentle and erudite with boyish good looks. He's also a little dorky and not the most smooth person in the room in social situations. I absolutely adore him and gush about him to my friends. They always respond with, " oh yeah he's your dream guy but I would never date him!"

They also like to sort of make fun of him for his quirks. He has poor visibility driving in rain for example and cancels social obligations due to the weather. My friends make comments like " oh John! He's so funny!"

I don't like that condescending attitude and am beginning to resent it. Am I wrong to be upset?

This seems like the nicest possible response to someone cancelling plans do to the weather. Why can't you drive? Or you can take public transportation/cabs?

I agree, other than "Bless their hearts."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of sick of having to hear unflattering comments about my husband. He is sweet and gentle and erudite with boyish good looks. He's also a little dorky and not the most smooth person in the room in social situations. I absolutely adore him and gush about him to my friends. They always respond with, " oh yeah he's your dream guy but I would never date him!"

They also like to sort of make fun of him for his quirks. He has poor visibility driving in rain for example and cancels social obligations due to the weather. My friends make comments like " oh John! He's so funny!"

I don't like that condescending attitude and am beginning to resent it. Am I wrong to be upset?

This seems like the nicest possible response to someone cancelling plans do to the weather. Why can't you drive? Or you can take public transportation/cabs?

My husband has extremely poor visibility when it comes to driving in the rain at night. He just literally has a really hard time with it. When I first met him and he would cancel dates or complain about driving in the rain at night I thought it was very odd. After sitting with him through such episodes I've realized it's apparently a real thing. I'd rather he feel comfortable on the road than crash the car driving to a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of sick of having to hear unflattering comments about my husband. He is sweet and gentle and erudite with boyish good looks. He's also a little dorky and not the most smooth person in the room in social situations. I absolutely adore him and gush about him to my friends. They always respond with, " oh yeah he's your dream guy but I would never date him!"

They also like to sort of make fun of him for his quirks. He has poor visibility driving in rain for example and cancels social obligations due to the weather. My friends make comments like " oh John! He's so funny!"

I don't like that condescending attitude and am beginning to resent it. Am I wrong to be upset?

This seems like the nicest possible response to someone cancelling plans do to the weather. Why can't you drive? Or you can take public transportation/cabs?

My husband has extremely poor visibility when it comes to driving in the rain at night. He just literally has a really hard time with it. When I first met him and he would cancel dates or complain about driving in the rain at night I thought it was very odd. After sitting with him through such episodes I've realized it's apparently a real thing. I'd rather he feel comfortable on the road than crash the car driving to a party.

If it's a social obligation you would be attending together, you should just drive.
If you want the comments about your husband to stop, stop gushing about him. They don't see him the way you do, and no amount of 'breakfast in bed' stories is going to change their minds. So accept it and stop.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm missing something, but saying "he's your dream guy but I would never date him" doesn't sound harsh to me. Your husband isn't on the market anyway, nor do you want your friends to be pining after him, so I don't get what the beef is there.

And if he cancels plans last minute every time it rains, well then they are being polite by calling that "funny" behavior. There are less understanding ways to describe it, and they're choosing to appreciate the humor of the situation.

I think it's weird that you want your friends to desire your husband. It's like you're mad that they're not jealous of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of sick of having to hear unflattering comments about my husband. He is sweet and gentle and erudite with boyish good looks. He's also a little dorky and not the most smooth person in the room in social situations. I absolutely adore him and gush about him to my friends. They always respond with, " oh yeah he's your dream guy but I would never date him!"

They also like to sort of make fun of him for his quirks. He has poor visibility driving in rain for example and cancels social obligations due to the weather. My friends make comments like " oh John! He's so funny!"

I don't like that condescending attitude and am beginning to resent it. Am I wrong to be upset?

This seems like the nicest possible response to someone cancelling plans do to the weather. Why can't you drive? Or you can take public transportation/cabs?

My husband has extremely poor visibility when it comes to driving in the rain at night. He just literally has a really hard time with it. When I first met him and he would cancel dates or complain about driving in the rain at night I thought it was very odd. After sitting with him through such episodes I've realized it's apparently a real thing. I'd rather he feel comfortable on the road than crash the car driving to a party.

So why don't you do the driving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but saying "he's your dream guy but I would never date him" doesn't sound harsh to me. Your husband isn't on the market anyway, nor do you want your friends to be pining after him, so I don't get what the beef is there.

And if he cancels plans last minute every time it rains, well then they are being polite by calling that "funny" behavior. There are less understanding ways to describe it, and they're choosing to appreciate the humor of the situation.

I think it's weird that you want your friends to desire your husband. It's like you're mad that they're not jealous of you.

Ding, ding, ding ding!!!! We have a winner.

[Anonymous]

Your friends are really rude and out of line.

[Anonymous]

Like how close are you with these people? Did any of them go to your wedding?

[Anonymous]

If you like him why do you give a damn what they think or say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop all the gushing about him? That's kind of weird.

Why? I don't gush just randomly. I just tell my friends when he brings me breakfast in bed or brings me surprise flowers.

Do you post it on FB? Because it never happened if you didn't

Maybe you go on a little too much, maybe your friends (and you) are a little too immature.
Bottom line - if you love - why the heck do you care what anyone else thinks?

I have known a few people who go on endlessly about how 'fabulous' their husbands are - it always sounds to me like they are trying to convince themselves- why the heck would I give a hoot? It honestly sounds like your friends are no so subtly dropping hints that they hear this too much from you. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but saying "he's your dream guy but I would never date him" doesn't sound harsh to me. Your husband isn't on the market anyway, nor do you want your friends to be pining after him, so I don't get what the beef is there.

And if he cancels plans last minute every time it rains, well then they are being polite by calling that "funny" behavior. There are less understanding ways to describe it, and they're choosing to appreciate the humor of the situation.

I think it's weird that you want your friends to desire your husband. It's like you're mad that they're not jealous of you.

I don't want my friends to actively desire and pursue my husband. I want them to respect him and admire him because he is a good man. They just make fun of him and don't take him seriously. I think it has to do with the fact that their men are older and more established while he is just in his mid twenties. So they automatically think he's immature.

[Anonymous]

What are you saying that inspires your friends to reply with "I'd never date him"? Do they say that to other friends in the social circle or only you? I've never had a friend weigh in on whether she'd consider dating my husband, because you know, he's not up for grabs. I think I'd have to be really piling on about how blessed I am to have him before some one felt the need to reply with that.

So either your friends are super socially awkward, talking about whether they would or would not be interested in an affair with your husband - or you're the socially awkward one, going on and on and on about how awesome your husband is and he's a one of a kind find, and you're so lucky to have him. Your friends are trying to remind you that he's just human and he's great for you, but they don't need to hear all that. Tone it down a notch is what they mean to say.