Indian Parenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm always a little taken aback by how involved and rulesy Indian parents are. DD's friend from school is Indian and I know the mother quite well. She tiger parents AND coddles to a weird extent. The Indian girl's life is regimented and run on rules and a schedule and no freedom to do anything on her own. She's up at 5 AM every day to study and then she has to go to Indian classical dance lessons and tennis and she has no choice but to go to medical school. DD says she's not even allowed to date (the girls are in the 8th grade). And when DD visited their home for a sleepover, she found that the kids there don't even do chores, and if they want they're allowed to eat in their rooms. Household tasks are "beneath" them.

They're a nice family and DD seems to like her friend (although I don't want her to get any ideas about being pampered at home and not being made to do her own laundry), but I really feel like Indians are raising handicapped kids who aren't self-reliant, can't think for themselves, and are too tied to their parents' apron strings.

Take a look at your post OP. Your judgmental and have lumped all Indian parents into your perfect little condescending picture. You do not agree with someone else's parenting style and feel your parenting is superior. Bravo, feel better about yourself now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Considering we always had maids and chefs - isn't it amazing how much cooking and cleaning we are doing in this country.

Tell me OP, how often have your child been pampered and fed at this Indian's house and how often have you reciprocated.

Yes, we coddle our children. Our expectation is that they will be doing well at school, be emotionally supported at home, and not be forced to have sex before they are mature because they have to start dating at 8th grade!

How many Indian kids with divorced parents have you seen? Why not make generalizations about that?

PP, remember how you said that Indian people surely don't write home about the awful American child-rearing practices? Well, here you go. Americans parents are divorced (this is a bad thing) and force their 13-year-olds to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Indian and loved my childhood. I was tiger parented and coddled.

If I was studying in my room for a tough exam, my maid came up with my breakfast tray, lunch tray, tea & snacks tray, and then maybe I would go downstairs and relax with the family during dinner. My clothes were laundered/dry cleaned, perfectly ironed and brought up to my room in folded stacks, and then I'd put them away in my cupboard. I was loved, supported, and petted, and never disrespected my parents.

When I was stressed out during exam periods, there was a sense that the whole community supported you. Other kids were going through the same thing. There would be pujas (prayers) to the goddess of education and knowledge, and my grandparents, neighbors, school counselor, teachers, and other family friends would wish me good luck and understand my anxiety.

I'm grateful for my tiger parenting as well. I was slightly lazy, undisciplined and irresponsible in elementary school, and my parents kicked my ass into shape - but always with love. I was forced to get my act together and it paid off for me BIG TIME.

Sorry you think allowing a kid to eat in her room or instilling a love of learning and achieving in her is "weird" OP. I call that a blessing.

I don't call this a normal childhood

Right! Normal childhood here is divorced parents playing ping-pong with child custody, kids having sex when they are in school because they must date, doing poorly in school, being rude to their parents.
Gee, why would I even care what you have to say OP, if nothing in the way Americans raise their kids lead to them doing well in school, having stable marriages, taking care of their kids, having a good relationship with their relatives?

You raise your kid the way you want. I have my fingers crossed for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering we always had maids and chefs - isn't it amazing how much cooking and cleaning we are doing in this country.

Tell me OP, how often have your child been pampered and fed at this Indian's house and how often have you reciprocated.

Yes, we coddle our children. Our expectation is that they will be doing well at school, be emotionally supported at home, and not be forced to have sex before they are mature because they have to start dating at 8th grade!

How many Indian kids with divorced parents have you seen? Why not make generalizations about that?

PP, remember how you said that Indian people surely don't write home about the awful American child-rearing practices? Well, here you go. Americans parents are divorced (this is a bad thing) and force their 13-year-olds to have sex.

It's pretty obvious the pp is responding to the OP of this thread. Not starting a thread on the woes of American Parenting (based off of one American friend.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering we always had maids and chefs - isn't it amazing how much cooking and cleaning we are doing in this country.

Tell me OP, how often have your child been pampered and fed at this Indian's house and how often have you reciprocated.

Yes, we coddle our children. Our expectation is that they will be doing well at school, be emotionally supported at home, and not be forced to have sex before they are mature because they have to start dating at 8th grade!

How many Indian kids with divorced parents have you seen? Why not make generalizations about that?

PP, remember how you said that Indian people surely don't write home about the awful American child-rearing practices? Well, here you go. Americans parents are divorced (this is a bad thing) and force their 13-year-olds to have sex.

Who started this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering we always had maids and chefs - isn't it amazing how much cooking and cleaning we are doing in this country.

Tell me OP, how often have your child been pampered and fed at this Indian's house and how often have you reciprocated.

Yes, we coddle our children. Our expectation is that they will be doing well at school, be emotionally supported at home, and not be forced to have sex before they are mature because they have to start dating at 8th grade!

How many Indian kids with divorced parents have you seen? Why not make generalizations about that?

PP, remember how you said that Indian people surely don't write home about the awful American child-rearing practices? Well, here you go. Americans parents are divorced (this is a bad thing) and force their 13-year-olds to have sex.

It's pretty obvious the pp is responding to the OP of this thread. Not starting a thread on the woes of American Parenting (based off of one American friend.)

Yes, of course PP is responding to the OP of this thread -- by making obnoxious generalizations of PP's own. Which proves that making obnoxious cultural generalizations is not a uniquely American thing. Another nail in the coffin of American exceptionalism...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering we always had maids and chefs - isn't it amazing how much cooking and cleaning we are doing in this country.

Tell me OP, how often have your child been pampered and fed at this Indian's house and how often have you reciprocated.

Yes, we coddle our children. Our expectation is that they will be doing well at school, be emotionally supported at home, and not be forced to have sex before they are mature because they have to start dating at 8th grade!

How many Indian kids with divorced parents have you seen? Why not make generalizations about that?

PP, remember how you said that Indian people surely don't write home about the awful American child-rearing practices? Well, here you go. Americans parents are divorced (this is a bad thing) and force their 13-year-olds to have sex.

It's pretty obvious the pp is responding to the OP of this thread. Not starting a thread on the woes of American Parenting (based off of one American friend.)

Yes, of course PP is responding to the OP of this thread -- by making obnoxious generalizations of PP's own. Which proves that making obnoxious cultural generalizations is not a uniquely American thing. Another nail in the coffin of American exceptionalism...

Are you dense? The pp used an example of obnoxious generalizations to make the point of how obnoxious the OP's post is. You're rebuttal is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Let's count how many times posters try to call each other racist. Their favorite word!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NP here. OP, I have seen the same, so it is NOT just you. In fact, I would say that you wisely noticed and observed, and stated your observations rather succinctly.

I can not believe how people get up in arms on this board, or in this area, as if you have never left your own back yard, when someone points out cultural differences. It strikes me as the most ignorant of anything I have seen in my decades. I thought people here were supposed to be smart and well traveled? What a joke!


Some PP's act as if OP stated that all Middle Eastern Indians MUST be terrorists! Really?

You can pretend "everyone is alike" or whatever PC phrase you wish to use; but it is a flat out lie, and you completely lose credibility by pushing that agenda.

OP, of course not everyone is alike, as we are not meant to be alike; and who would want everyone to be alike? Being educated and well traveled, I, as well as my friends, choose to NOT try to pretend we are all alike, to our mutual benefit.

PP's who insist that people pretend otherwise are rather naive and sheltered.

What is a Middle Eastern Indian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering we always had maids and chefs - isn't it amazing how much cooking and cleaning we are doing in this country.

Tell me OP, how often have your child been pampered and fed at this Indian's house and how often have you reciprocated.

Yes, we coddle our children. Our expectation is that they will be doing well at school, be emotionally supported at home, and not be forced to have sex before they are mature because they have to start dating at 8th grade!

How many Indian kids with divorced parents have you seen? Why not make generalizations about that?

PP, remember how you said that Indian people surely don't write home about the awful American child-rearing practices? Well, here you go. Americans parents are divorced (this is a bad thing) and force their 13-year-olds to have sex.

It's pretty obvious the pp is responding to the OP of this thread. Not starting a thread on the woes of American Parenting (based off of one American friend.)

Yes, of course PP is responding to the OP of this thread -- by making obnoxious generalizations of PP's own. Which proves that making obnoxious cultural generalizations is not a uniquely American thing. Another nail in the coffin of American exceptionalism...

Are you dense? The pp used an example of obnoxious generalizations to make the point of how obnoxious the OP's post is. You're rebuttal is hilarious.

My head is spinning now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let's count how many times posters try to call each other racist. Their favorite word!

Who exactly are you referring to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP here. OP, I have seen the same, so it is NOT just you. In fact, I would say that you wisely noticed and observed, and stated your observations rather succinctly.

I can not believe how people get up in arms on this board, or in this area, as if you have never left your own back yard, when someone points out cultural differences. It strikes me as the most ignorant of anything I have seen in my decades. I thought people here were supposed to be smart and well traveled? What a joke!


Some PP's act as if OP stated that all Middle Eastern Indians MUST be terrorists! Really?

You can pretend "everyone is alike" or whatever PC phrase you wish to use; but it is a flat out lie, and you completely lose credibility by pushing that agenda.

OP, of course not everyone is alike, as we are not meant to be alike; and who would want everyone to be alike? Being educated and well traveled, I, as well as my friends, choose to NOT try to pretend we are all alike, to our mutual benefit.

PP's who insist that people pretend otherwise are rather naive and sheltered.

What is a Middle Eastern Indian?

This made me laugh! IDK. Maybe the PP is referring to how *some* people in the US think that Seikhs are ME and therefore terrorists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP here. OP, I have seen the same, so it is NOT just you. In fact, I would say that you wisely noticed and observed, and stated your observations rather succinctly.

I can not believe how people get up in arms on this board, or in this area, as if you have never left your own back yard, when someone points out cultural differences. It strikes me as the most ignorant of anything I have seen in my decades. I thought people here were supposed to be smart and well traveled? What a joke!


Some PP's act as if OP stated that all Middle Eastern Indians MUST be terrorists! Really?

You can pretend "everyone is alike" or whatever PC phrase you wish to use; but it is a flat out lie, and you completely lose credibility by pushing that agenda.

OP, of course not everyone is alike, as we are not meant to be alike; and who would want everyone to be alike? Being educated and well traveled, I, as well as my friends, choose to NOT try to pretend we are all alike, to our mutual benefit.

PP's who insist that people pretend otherwise are rather naive and sheltered.

What is a Middle Eastern Indian?

Don't you know all those people are the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My head is spinning now!

Yes, I can't keep up either. Which obnoxious generalizations are sincere, and which obnoxious generalizations are intended to point out the obnoxious generalizationness of obnoxious generalizations? So confusing!

[Anonymous]

I must admit this thread didn't go how I thought it would. OP makes some observations and criticizes Indian parenting, various Indian posters agree with OP's observations, and white Americans call her an ignorant racist. I feel like I've learned something reading this thread.