Question for the rich, skinny moms who post judgy remarks about someone's looks/attire on here

[Anonymous]

Geez---I am such NOT a bag person. I try to get away without carrying one as much as possible. I WAH so I shove my credit card into pocket when I walk to the store.

It makes no sense to me to spend thousands of dollars on a bag---even if one can afford it. I saw that Eastwood show where Dina Eastwood went apesh*t on her daughter for carrying aroudn a bag that costs more than the majority of Americans make in 1 year.

Truthfully, I have seen great craftsmanship in bags that cost far, far less. Think leather bags made on the street in Italy, etc.

There is a nouveau-faux rich (maxed out credit cards) that try to live like a reality show. I know a few and it is very pathetic to see all the name brands they can't afford. They waste their time on most DC area residents that just aren't into that sh*t. I guess my parents' New England practicality and Dh's midwestern sensibility is really engrained in our heads.

Real estate (where I live) is really about the only thing I really splurge on...and travel.

[Anonymous]

People on here are insane. You ask a question about why someone "judges" your fake bags....you get an answer and then the freaks arrive to post aggresively.

If I buy a designer bag with cash and pay my bills then who cares. I am sure I will get the responses back "why do you care if I have a fake bag". I do not care and my days do not revolve around this. I am saying that when you deliberately buy a fake bag you are 1) assisting the black market in promoting these illegal goods and 2) why are you trying to create a "status" for yourself by claiming they are real. Now if you do not claim they are real then I have no idea why you would want to waste money on a fake but thats on you.

Actually (and I am asking to try and understand not be snarky) why would you buy a deliberately fake bag? I really do not understand. I can understand buying a bag that looks like another one from like Target or something...but why buy a fake one? And if you do this, why do you try to tell people they are real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a question that I really want the truthful answer. If I asked IRL, I'd probably get a very nice polite answer. So, here goes:

I am overweight. I am not rich. I have cankles and nobby-knees. and I'm old.

I am trying to lose weight, but of course it takes time (I've lost 15lbs so far, but I'm only losing about a lb a week, and I'm still fat). I like the look of nice things, but can't afford them. But, if I see a purse with the LV logo, or a coach-type purse at Marshalls I'll get it because I think it's pretty - certainly not to pretend I have something I don't. I have also been wearing sleevless or short sleeves. I'm usually conservative (I never wear shorts or shorter skirts - always capris or capri-length skirts) but it's so dang hot outside, it's hard to find cool tops with sleeves that go to your elbow.

So, my question is, when you see me on the metro, or walking on the street or in the elevator with my fat arms exposed, fake LV or coach purse and non-designer capri pants, do you really think the things you say here on DCUM? I really just thought of myself as a non-event. I really thought that the skinny-rich-designer women just don't even notice or care that I walked by (or are in the elevator). I am genuinely curious. Do you spend minutes (or seconds) or whatever really having a judgy thought about me or am I a non-issue IRL and the judgy stuff just comes out when the topic of exposed fat arms, fake designers, or cheap dress comes up. then you give it some thought and respond truthfully?

guy here. havent read any responses yet but based on this reading alone you are insecure as fuck and put too much weight (no pun) on what you think skinny "rich" people are thinking of you.

you can be fat rich or fat poor. in my book, you are just fat. you can have a real LV bag or a fake one. you are still fat. you can dress poorly and in ill fitting clothes and you are still just fat.

if i choose to comment on your fake bag or your lack of style, you being fat will have nothing to do with it because a skinny person will get the same comments from me if i choose to go there.

in the end, the truth here is that you are insecure. you walk around looking at skinny women who YOU think are sitting looking at you with evil thoughts in their head when thats probably not the case. sure there are mean people out there but guess what? its probably not the "rich" person in chevy chase making fun of you. its probably a fake LV bag carrying out of style average person just like you.

there are fat rich people out there in case you didnt know.

why dont you focus on losing weight instead of focusing on imaginary people out there who you think are wasting their time away concerned about how fat you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a comfortable income and am thin. I don't post judgy remarks about people's looks/attire. Perhaps this post does not fully apply to me but I'll offer the following comments.

If you watch the show "What Not To Wear," Clinton/Stacy never tell anyone to lose weight. They try to get people to wear clothing that is size appropriate and flattering to their body type no matter what the size of the week's guest. Everyone has a body type and figure, no matter how overweight. Pear shape, round, square, whatever. Dress to that type. For instance, they point out that capri pants shorten the body and do not flatter. Loud prints and blaring colors similarly are not flattering; neither is an all-black palette.

Work with what you have. Dress with taste and with confidence. And judgy women are never in style and no one on DCUM likes their obnoxious posts.

This! Watch "What Not To Wear" and figure out what you look good in based on your body type. It's all about rocking your silhouette. And don't forget your confidence. It goes a long way to feeling good in your own skin and in the world. Have you considering a stylist? It's expensive, but they can teach you what works for you and target your shopping. For example, I have large breasts. I know I have to find v-necks, even when I spy pretty tops that would never work out for me.

I wouldn't remark on your capris, more casual mommy style ever. I'd be more likely to notice you struggling with your three kids in a metro elevator and offer to help. FWIW - I'm not rich or super thin, just happy with myself. I think you need to indulge a little in your inner sexy. Just saying.

+1

I tend to notice people's moods and presence more than anything else. Maybe because I'm trying to work on my own? (Less frantic, more calm!)

Anyway, confidence and knowing what looks good on your body type goes a LONG way!! As does a genuine smile and a peaceful/happy mind.

On the other hand, being thin and wearing expensive clothes does not guarantee attractiveness. We all know size 2 women with expensive clothes and hair who rush around with sour, angry looks on their faces (perhaps because they're starving and thinking of food they'll never let themselves eat?) Well, I similarly know and see lots of women who are size 14+ who are the opposite -- put together nicely and radiating a sense of comfort in their own skin. I love that and try to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I'm affluent, thin & fit, attractive, wear designer clothes (but never with labels or designer names visible)...

To answer your questions: No, I do not judge you for the way that you dress. I really don't care... I have to look put together for my field but realize that many others don't.

I do notice you but you don't gross me out. I wonder why you let yourself get so overweight. If you were my friend I would worry about your well being, both emotional and physical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder how people let themselves go and get overweight (more than say 20lbs). I don't understand how people can allow their health to slip and have all that extra fat hanging off their body.

I wonder if you are only in your 30s and 40s and are already 20, 30, 40lbs if it occurs to you what a physical mess you are going to be at 50, 60, and 70. I wonder if you have children and if it bothers you that you might not be around for them very long when they reach adulthood, or if you are around if you will have limited mobility and energy for them.

This is the OP again. thanks for your honesty, but again, I wasn't really asking if people judge me because I'm fat. I was asking about choosing cheap clothes, shoes, purses, etc. having my arms or cankles exposed in the summer...that kind of thing.

If you really do wonder these things about me while we are riding up the elevator to get to our offices, or stnading next to each other on the train, I'll answer them for you (at least from my perspective). I am about 50lbs overweight. When I started to gain weight (emotional eating, and eating so as not to "feel" but regardless, I take full responsibility for it) I worried about all those things you wonder about for me. I started getting more physicals and my cholesteral is normal (185 the last time), no diabetes (don't know what it's called but the Dr. took blood for it and told me I'm good), my blood pressure is low... 118/70. I am 46 years old, happily married and have one 8 YO girl and 6YO boy. I am slower to move around, get tired more than I should and aren't as active as I'd like to be. So, to answer your questions - yes, I do worry about it and it does bother me, but I was an emotional mess for a few years and ate to hide - my therapist says its very similar to being addicted to alcohol or drugs, but tends to be more accepted because it's not as obvious (I can come to work after eating donuts and no one would know, but if I drank a bottle of booze and came to work, everyone would know) so you don't get a handle on it until it's too late. If I came to work bombed every day, there'd be an intervention and I'd go to rehab or whatever. but no one knows about my overeating until I've ballooned and even then, people tend to just think I gained weight and not equate it to a problem I'm trying to hide from.

But whatever, I'm not here making excuses or justifying anything. I started therapy and eating better. I'm doing it completely for myself, not for anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge more for someone having a fake bag then being 20 lbs overweight. Not because you cannoot or will not buy a designer bag but because its just stupid.

I would rather see someone with a cute Le Sport Sac then trying to pawn off a fake bag. I have many designer bags but I do not judge people without them. I do not drive a luxury car but I like designer handbags and could care less about what car someone drives.

But there is no need to try and impress someone with a fake one because face it...why else would you buy a knock off to try and have people think its real. Just buy something you like.

Guess what? If I see a cute bag at Marshall's, I might buy it. But I tell you the chances of me not knowing it's a knock off of a bag you're carrying are near 100%. I don't think I'd be "rich" today if I were designer-savvy.

No no you mis-read my post about "fake bags". I do not care about bags that look like another bag...but I mean going to Georgetown and deliberately buying a fake LV or kate Spade bag and then trying to tell people its real. Thats what I think it sjust dumb. If you have a target bag, Kohls, etc. I see nothing wrong with non-deisgner name brands, just trying to pawn off a fake one for being real.

OP here again. Actually, I never pawn off a fake for a real. When someone comments, I tell them exactly where I got it. You asked why would I buy a knock off (and have people think it's real or try to impress others) then you say just buy something you like. Well, I LIKE the look of some bags. I never try to pass them off as real, and have never thought about someone else's opinions when I buy them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have fake (small) bags and real (big and designer $$$$$) bags. I have not been able to find the model I like in the small size. What do you care? Do you scrutinize bags but pretend not to care? Seriously? Wow.

I truly have no idea what you are asking with your post? Scrutinize bags and not care? Yes I can tell if a fake is a fake if thats what you are asking. And yes I will silently judge you for trying to tell me its real if you do. Do I care that much to make it a hobby...no but I can tell and I think trying to convince people a fake bag is real is stupid in my opinion. Whats the point in buying a knock off for $50 (bc yes the knock offs are not that cheap). And for someone who HAS real bags I have no clue why you would ever buy a fake one?

OP here - thanks for your response. Asking why I'd buy a fake? I like the bag, but could never afford a real one. But, like I mentioned I've never tried to convince someone it was real. I'd say - Oh, it's not a real prada - but I LOVE the prada bags and I found this one at Marshalls. Isn't it cute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge more for someone having a fake bag then being 20 lbs overweight. Not because you cannoot or will not buy a designer bag but because its just stupid.

I would rather see someone with a cute Le Sport Sac then trying to pawn off a fake bag. I have many designer bags but I do not judge people without them. I do not drive a luxury car but I like designer handbags and could care less about what car someone drives.

But there is no need to try and impress someone with a fake one because face it...why else would you buy a knock off to try and have people think its real. Just buy something you like.

Guess what? If I see a cute bag at Marshall's, I might buy it. But I tell you the chances of me not knowing it's a knock off of a bag you're carrying are near 100%. I don't think I'd be "rich" today if I were designer-savvy.

No no you mis-read my post about "fake bags". I do not care about bags that look like another bag...but I mean going to Georgetown and deliberately buying a fake LV or kate Spade bag and then trying to tell people its real. Thats what I think it sjust dumb. If you have a target bag, Kohls, etc. I see nothing wrong with non-deisgner name brands, just trying to pawn off a fake one for being real.

OP here again. Actually, I never pawn off a fake for a real. When someone comments, I tell them exactly where I got it. You asked why would I buy a knock off (and have people think it's real or try to impress others) then you say just buy something you like. Well, I LIKE the look of some bags. I never try to pass them off as real, and have never thought about someone else's opinions when I buy them.

You have a point. Apparently all the PP sees is a label, not the design.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on here are insane. You ask a question about why someone "judges" your fake bags....you get an answer and then the freaks arrive to post aggresively.

If I buy a designer bag with cash and pay my bills then who cares. I am sure I will get the responses back "why do you care if I have a fake bag". I do not care and my days do not revolve around this. I am saying that when you deliberately buy a fake bag you are 1) assisting the black market in promoting these illegal goods and 2) why are you trying to create a "status" for yourself by claiming they are real. Now if you do not claim they are real then I have no idea why you would want to waste money on a fake but thats on you.

Actually (and I am asking to try and understand not be snarky) why would you buy a deliberately fake bag? I really do not understand. I can understand buying a bag that looks like another one from like Target or something...but why buy a fake one? And if you do this, why do you try to tell people they are real?

OP here. First, I've always identified every post I've written and I hope none of my posts came across as aggressively. to answer your other question, I buy bags that look like designer bags, but I've seen a LV "fake" purse in NY - that actually looks really fake LOL, but I really loved it and bought it. When people tell me "ooh, I love your purse" my first response is to tell them exactly where I got it - I say "Isn't it great? It's a fake I found in NY" Honestly - I really don't get them to pretend they are real - I treat them like I do any purchase. Like my shoes? Got them at DSW. Like my pants? Target. Like my purse? Marshalls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge more for someone having a fake bag then being 20 lbs overweight. Not because you cannoot or will not buy a designer bag but because its just stupid.

I would rather see someone with a cute Le Sport Sac then trying to pawn off a fake bag. I have many designer bags but I do not judge people without them. I do not drive a luxury car but I like designer handbags and could care less about what car someone drives.

But there is no need to try and impress someone with a fake one because face it...why else would you buy a knock off to try and have people think its real. Just buy something you like.

Guess what? If I see a cute bag at Marshall's, I might buy it. But I tell you the chances of me not knowing it's a knock off of a bag you're carrying are near 100%. I don't think I'd be "rich" today if I were designer-savvy.

No no you mis-read my post about "fake bags". I do not care about bags that look like another bag...but I mean going to Georgetown and deliberately buying a fake LV or kate Spade bag and then trying to tell people its real. Thats what I think it sjust dumb. If you have a target bag, Kohls, etc. I see nothing wrong with non-deisgner name brands, just trying to pawn off a fake one for being real.

Gotch. I totally agree (but, again, Kate Spade means nothing to me so zero desire to carry her fake bag). I bought a Longchamp bag at Nordstrom in a rush purchase as a plane/beach bag during a winter break trip to Grand Caymen. I had to laugh when my teenage DD's eyes almost popped out of her head -- she thought I was finally embracing fashion statements. I'm that clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge more for someone having a fake bag then being 20 lbs overweight. Not because you cannoot or will not buy a designer bag but because its just stupid.

I would rather see someone with a cute Le Sport Sac then trying to pawn off a fake bag. I have many designer bags but I do not judge people without them. I do not drive a luxury car but I like designer handbags and could care less about what car someone drives.

But there is no need to try and impress someone with a fake one because face it...why else would you buy a knock off to try and have people think its real. Just buy something you like.

Guess what? If I see a cute bag at Marshall's, I might buy it. But I tell you the chances of me not knowing it's a knock off of a bag you're carrying are near 100%. I don't think I'd be "rich" today if I were designer-savvy.

No no you mis-read my post about "fake bags". I do not care about bags that look like another bag...but I mean going to Georgetown and deliberately buying a fake LV or kate Spade bag and then trying to tell people its real. Thats what I think it sjust dumb. If you have a target bag, Kohls, etc. I see nothing wrong with non-deisgner name brands, just trying to pawn off a fake one for being real.

OP here again. Actually, I never pawn off a fake for a real. When someone comments, I tell them exactly where I got it. You asked why would I buy a knock off (and have people think it's real or try to impress others) then you say just buy something you like. Well, I LIKE the look of some bags. I never try to pass them off as real, and have never thought about someone else's opinions when I buy them.

You have a point. Apparently all the PP sees is a label, not the design.

Not at all and please do not infer what I AM thinking. OP I do not understand what you are saying so I will post one last time.

Department stores whether it is Marshalls, Target, etc do not sell fake Prada, Gucci, LV bags. They cannot by law. If they sell something that *looks* like one then that is ok and its not "fake." When you buy an illegal bag that is made with a LABEL to supposedly be a Prada, etc., then yes I think its dumb because you like the look but its a fake bag. I guarantee you can find a bag that *looks* like a prada without the prada emblem...because they are out there. But if you want a bag bc you like the prada emblem (why would you buy a fake bag to just get the label) then thats what I do not get.

Do what you want. I gave an answer to your thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm affluent, thin & fit, attractive, wear designer clothes (but never with labels or designer names visible)...

To answer your questions: No, I do not judge you for the way that you dress. I really don't care... I have to look put together for my field but realize that many others don't.

I do notice you but you don't gross me out. I wonder why you let yourself get so overweight. If you were my friend I would worry about your well being, both emotional and physical.

Because eating what I want is more important than being thin to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
guy here. havent read any responses yet but based on this reading alone you are insecure as fuck and put too much weight (no pun) on what you think skinny "rich" people are thinking of you.

you can be fat rich or fat poor. in my book, you are just fat. you can have a real LV bag or a fake one. you are still fat. you can dress poorly and in ill fitting clothes and you are still just fat.

if i choose to comment on your fake bag or your lack of style, you being fat will have nothing to do with it because a skinny person will get the same comments from me if i choose to go there.

in the end, the truth here is that you are insecure. you walk around looking at skinny women who YOU think are sitting looking at you with evil thoughts in their head when thats probably not the case. sure there are mean people out there but guess what? its probably not the "rich" person in chevy chase making fun of you. its probably a fake LV bag carrying out of style average person just like you.

there are fat rich people out there in case you didnt know.

why dont you focus on losing weight instead of focusing on imaginary people out there who you think are wasting their time away concerned about how fat you are.

OP here. LOL thanks for your response, but you might want to read the posts before adding your assessment of me. As I mentioned (many times) I actually have never given a second thought to what others IRL are thinking about me, so your assessment that I'm "insecure as fuck" and "walk around looking at skinny women thinking they have evil thoughts about me" and "focusing on imaginary people out there" are completely wrong and out in left field. I'm sorry my post got you so angry, but you did give me a chuckle me imagining you slamming your fingers on your keyboard all red-faced swearing at me and telling me "you're fat! you're fat! you're fat!" (sorry about that, but I did need a good laugh today, so thanks).


What I do find fascinating is that I mentioned being overweight once and then one sentence about trying to lose the weight. The entire rest of my OP was about cheap clothes, purses, not being rich, etc. And yet the majority of people focused so much on my weight. It's so interesting. I really wonder what that means, if anything. Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge more for someone having a fake bag then being 20 lbs overweight. Not because you cannoot or will not buy a designer bag but because its just stupid.

I would rather see someone with a cute Le Sport Sac then trying to pawn off a fake bag. I have many designer bags but I do not judge people without them. I do not drive a luxury car but I like designer handbags and could care less about what car someone drives.

But there is no need to try and impress someone with a fake one because face it...why else would you buy a knock off to try and have people think its real. Just buy something you like.

Guess what? If I see a cute bag at Marshall's, I might buy it. But I tell you the chances of me not knowing it's a knock off of a bag you're carrying are near 100%. I don't think I'd be "rich" today if I were designer-savvy.

No no you mis-read my post about "fake bags". I do not care about bags that look like another bag...but I mean going to Georgetown and deliberately buying a fake LV or kate Spade bag and then trying to tell people its real. Thats what I think it sjust dumb. If you have a target bag, Kohls, etc. I see nothing wrong with non-deisgner name brands, just trying to pawn off a fake one for being real.

OP here again. Actually, I never pawn off a fake for a real. When someone comments, I tell them exactly where I got it. You asked why would I buy a knock off (and have people think it's real or try to impress others) then you say just buy something you like. Well, I LIKE the look of some bags. I never try to pass them off as real, and have never thought about someone else's opinions when I buy them.

You have a point. Apparently all the PP sees is a label, not the design.

Not at all and please do not infer what I AM thinking. OP I do not understand what you are saying so I will post one last time.

Department stores whether it is Marshalls, Target, etc do not sell fake Prada, Gucci, LV bags. They cannot by law. If they sell something that *looks* like one then that is ok and its not "fake." When you buy an illegal bag that is made with a LABEL to supposedly be a Prada, etc., then yes I think its dumb because you like the look but its a fake bag. I guarantee you can find a bag that *looks* like a prada without the prada emblem...because they are out there. But if you want a bag bc you like the prada emblem (why would you buy a fake bag to just get the label) then thats what I do not get.

Do what you want. I gave an answer to your thread.

OP here. Thanks for spelling it out. I guess I was using the "fake designer purse" label the wrong way. I usually buy purses from actual stores that tend to look like an expensive designer bag that I usually have spotted someone carrying WITH a label (which is how I'd know it's prada, LV, Gucci, etc.). I did once buy a fake LV in NY just because I never saw a bag that looked like that and really liked it. So, I guess I have purchased a truly fake designer purse, but that's not the norm for me. And my original post was asking about you seeing me with one of these Marshalls/Target type bag that clearly looks fake (no emblem, sometimes not real leather, etc.). But, I also thought some designers don't have their emblem out in the open - that they are hidden on the inside? so why would someone buy a "fake" (your definition of a fake) if they don't even have an emblem that people see? It doesn't make sense.