I hate hosting families with 3 or more kids

[Anonymous]

As a mom of 3, I think it’s because the ages mixes rather than the number of children.

For a family or 4, the 2 kids may be close in age and have friend overlap. But with 3 kids there is likely some level of gap meaning there is often a younger child being excluded without a peer or an older kid who may have more mature knowledge than the younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often are you hosting these families of 3+ kids. As a parent of one, it's shocking how often these big, busy families are available to come traumatize yours, so it seems maybe this post is just to stir the pot.

I mean if the family is awful enough, just hosting them once could lead a person to decide "never again." Sometimes hosting is a joy and when it's over you can't wait to do it again. And sometimes hosting is a nightmare and you silently count the minutes until they leave and when they are gone you question what compelled you to invite them over in the first place.

That's why you need to teach your kids to be good guests in other people's homes!

Well, hopefully you’d walk away from that experience saying I’ll never host the Larla family again, not holding it against all families with 3+ children and post it here. So, yes, I’ll stick with stirring the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread because I can just feel the anxiety rise when I enter with all my boys. The utter chaos and physicality just causes some peoples blood pressure to visibly rise. I watch those folks chasing anxiously after their own child and think, Jesus, what’s the worst that can happen if he goes screaming down the hallway.

When you are outnumbered, your ability to control goes way down. That lack of control over your children allows more space for simply joy. It’s really fun to scream and yell and then they tire each other out and go to bed! I am enjoying my kids childhoods and find that I am way less stressed than parents of fewer children who have a much stronger need to feel they are doing everything right.

I have an only and I never go anxiously chasing after my kid because it is totally unnecessary. She's very trustworthy and independent and I know she'll check in with us before doing something risky or new.

Big families stress me out when they come over because their kids aren't like that. There's always at least one kid who will do something crazy that I cannot imagine my kid ever doing even in our own home much less in someone else's home, without even asking. Like moving furniture, going through drawers, trying to climb things that my kid would know not to climb.

I also don't think it's fun to scream and yell. I have tons of fun as a parent but I don't like screaming. People like that??? I taught my kid not to scream because it hurts people's ears and feels stressful. Do your kids also scream and yell in restaurants and movie theaters and at school? Cool.

You have one risk averse girl and you like quiet. There is nothing wrong with the loud and rambunctious boys or their parents. It is just different, and you just don't get it and never will. What do you do with your quiet, risk averse daughter that is "tons of fun"?

Interesting to me how defensive the parents of the loud, obnoxious kids are. Insinuating that if a person has a well-behaved or risk-averse child they are boring? That there is something wrong with them? F no. Just like your it's okay to be a rough and tumble kid ---at your own house if your own parents are fine with it. FFS what is wrong with you people?

Teach your kids to behave themselves at *someone else's* home. What you do around your house is your choice. Have at it. But stuff your faux judgy nonsense that is really defensiveness because you know your kids are behaving badly. Teach your kids some manners.

Agree. Also you forgot to mention how sexist the previous post was - apparently only boys can be rambunctious - so not true!! They probably give boys a free pass for bad behavior under the guise of “boys will be boys”

[Anonymous]

This thread is reading like a lot of families with 1-2 kids who are triggered by larger families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is reading like a lot of families with 1-2 kids who are triggered by larger families.

Think it boils down to their fear they aren’t doing parenting right rooted in a need to control. Manifests in posting anonymously about scary big families coming over and being wild.

[Anonymous]

Families with few and well behaved kids feel overwhelmed when several rowdy children are running around their home. Parents with more kids tend to tune out kids and assume it's host's responsibility.

[Anonymous]

I had six brothers and sisters but we were spread out in age, were well behaved and rarely visited any place all together other than grandparents. My parents only took 1-2 kids matching host's kid's ages. Why bore your kids and why burden host?

[Anonymous]

One reason families with less, well mannered and older kids get overwhelmed is because their homes aren't set up for chaos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is reading like a lot of families with 1-2 kids who are triggered by larger families.

Think it boils down to their fear they aren’t doing parenting right rooted in a need to control. Manifests in posting anonymously about scary big families coming over and being wild. [/quote

Or its smugness about doing parenting correctly and raising kids to be calm rational individuals. I’m in that category! Some larger families can do this successfully- normally with a SAHP and additional help. MOST larger families do it poorly and raise terror kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread because I can just feel the anxiety rise when I enter with all my boys. The utter chaos and physicality just causes some peoples blood pressure to visibly rise. I watch those folks chasing anxiously after their own child and think, Jesus, what’s the worst that can happen if he goes screaming down the hallway.

When you are outnumbered, your ability to control goes way down. That lack of control over your children allows more space for simply joy. It’s really fun to scream and yell and then they tire each other out and go to bed! I am enjoying my kids childhoods and find that I am way less stressed than parents of fewer children who have a much stronger need to feel they are doing everything right.

I have an only and I never go anxiously chasing after my kid because it is totally unnecessary. She's very trustworthy and independent and I know she'll check in with us before doing something risky or new.

Big families stress me out when they come over because their kids aren't like that. There's always at least one kid who will do something crazy that I cannot imagine my kid ever doing even in our own home much less in someone else's home, without even asking. Like moving furniture, going through drawers, trying to climb things that my kid would know not to climb.

I also don't think it's fun to scream and yell. I have tons of fun as a parent but I don't like screaming. People like that??? I taught my kid not to scream because it hurts people's ears and feels stressful. Do your kids also scream and yell in restaurants and movie theaters and at school? Cool.

You have one risk averse girl and you like quiet. There is nothing wrong with the loud and rambunctious boys or their parents. It is just different, and you just don't get it and never will. What do you do with your quiet, risk averse daughter that is "tons of fun"?

There is something wrong when parents don't teach kids that you can't be rambunctious everywhere.

My well behaved (not quiet, just to screaming) only and I do stuff like build first, climb trees, make up dances, watch movies, sing and play music, go hiking. Lots of fun, no screaming. She also knows when she's in someone else's house, she needs to be on best behavior and ask before doing things like moving or climbing on furniture, writing on surfaces, etc.

Some of you are confusing manners with being boring or no fun. This explains a lot about how people behave in public.

lol…okay. We are all going to take advice on how to behave in public from the grown adult at the park climbing trees.

Just because your kid doesn’t have any siblings, that doesn’t make YOU their sibling. Let your daughter climb trees and make forts with other kids. Put in some ear buds if the noise bothers you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One reason families with less, well mannered and older kids get overwhelmed is because their homes aren't set up for chaos.

What is “a home set up for chaos”?

[Anonymous]

Mom of five who “survives” by maintaining control in my home and over my kids and by not pandering to my kids. I don’t tolerate my kids interrupting adults or trashing places. It used to be how things were. Now thanks to bunk parenting methods like gentle parenting the reality OP describes is the norm and it’s ruining family socialization. It’s sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree OP! I also think most parents of 3+ kids just have a more relaxed parenting style so the kids aren’t watched as closely.

False statement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s you, OP.

Of course you do weirdo. How dare op not enjoy chaos and destruction in her home.

OP has issues

[Anonymous]

I know my limits