I hate hosting families with 3 or more kids

[Anonymous]

I don't hate the families, but I hate hosting them and I think I'm going to stop.

It's too many people. Specifically too many kids. It seems, on paper, like it's just one more kid than a family with 2 kids. And yet.... it feels like 4-5 more kids? It is just utter chaos. We never make it through a visit without something being broken or drawn on or just randomly destroyed. I'll have spent time with the kids individually, and they will have been well behaved, and then all together they are like small demons.

I would rather host three or four families with 1-2 kids than a single family with 3 or more.

And to parents of 3 or more kids, I truly don't know how you survive. How have your houses not burned down by now? I salute you, but I don't envy you. And I look forward to meeting up at the park!

[Anonymous]

I’m an LDS mom from Nevada to twelve children, my eldest is 24 and the baby is 2, and I agree with you OP. 3+ kids and it’s chaos!

[Anonymous]

Is it possible your house isn't child-proofed? Are your kids taught what is acceptable and what isn't? When they should come get you for help after they've told a friend to stop playing catch with a vase, or whatever?

[Anonymous]

Agree OP! I also think most parents of 3+ kids just have a more relaxed parenting style so the kids aren’t watched as closely.

[Anonymous]

I don't host anyone. Solves the problem.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I think I know what you mean, OP. Bigger families can have a different vibe when they are all together. My son has a couple friends that are from families with 3 boys and they are great kids and follow our rules for playdates but when the whole family is over it’s a totally different vibe! In particular the kids that don’t have a friend their own age will be disruptive and rough with the other kids to get attention. It’s a lot sometimes.

We tend to do stuff out of the house with those families (I like the parents a lot too which is why we don’t just stick to drop off play dates)

[Anonymous]

As a parent of three (and former only child) - I agree! I tell everyone they should stop at one. It just makes life much easier to manage. (I love my kids and would do things exactly the same, but it’s expensive and complicated and I don’t actually really love being a mom!)

[Anonymous]

I have 3 boys and I totally understand, happy to meet at the park or do the hosting.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. Do you never allow your kid to have more than 2 friends over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s you, OP.

Of course you do weirdo. How dare op not enjoy chaos and destruction in her home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. Do you never allow your kid to have more than 2 friends over?

She’s saying that’s fine but having 3 kids from the same family over at the same time is chaotic.

I have 3 kids and can understand why this could be the case

[Anonymous]

I have one and they're in high school. I don't have families with lots of kids over. I like kids. But I also have a house that's not friendly to them (or vice versa). Obviously I'll change for my own grandkids eventually but that's different. It's like kids round 2, you adapt.

Happy to visit or socialize elsewhere or have 1-2 well behaved kids over (the babies, the color-ers, etc...) but if you have unchecked or unknown kids, nope.

[Anonymous]

I love this thread because I can just feel the anxiety rise when I enter with all my boys. The utter chaos and physicality just causes some peoples blood pressure to visibly rise. I watch those folks chasing anxiously after their own child and think, Jesus, what’s the worst that can happen if he goes screaming down the hallway.

When you are outnumbered, your ability to control goes way down. That lack of control over your children allows more space for simply joy. It’s really fun to scream and yell and then they tire each other out and go to bed! I am enjoying my kids childhoods and find that I am way less stressed than parents of fewer children who have a much stronger need to feel they are doing everything right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread because I can just feel the anxiety rise when I enter with all my boys. The utter chaos and physicality just causes some peoples blood pressure to visibly rise. I watch those folks chasing anxiously after their own child and think, Jesus, what’s the worst that can happen if he goes screaming down the hallway.

When you are outnumbered, your ability to control goes way down. That lack of control over your children allows more space for simply joy. It’s really fun to scream and yell and then they tire each other out and go to bed! I am enjoying my kids childhoods and find that I am way less stressed than parents of fewer children who have a much stronger need to feel they are doing everything right.

I have an only and I never go anxiously chasing after my kid because it is totally unnecessary. She's very trustworthy and independent and I know she'll check in with us before doing something risky or new.

Big families stress me out when they come over because their kids aren't like that. There's always at least one kid who will do something crazy that I cannot imagine my kid ever doing even in our own home much less in someone else's home, without even asking. Like moving furniture, going through drawers, trying to climb things that my kid would know not to climb.

I also don't think it's fun to scream and yell. I have tons of fun as a parent but I don't like screaming. People like that??? I taught my kid not to scream because it hurts people's ears and feels stressful. Do your kids also scream and yell in restaurants and movie theaters and at school? Cool.