Just learned my MIL turned away a friend who came to see me in the hospital

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't get the friend crying.

This, which makes me think OP is a troll.

Why would your friend start crying because your MIL told her you didn't want any visitors? What?

I am not a troll. I want to ignore you because you’re being annoying, burn I’ll answer this last question.

I believe she was shocked because we had earlier discussed her stopping by with a care package, something I’ve been craving and she promised to bring me once the baby got here. I was expecting her. I think she was made to believe by my MIL’s brash comment that she wasn’t welcome. I think she was confused and hurt, maybe embarrassed, maybe a little sensitive. I don’t think it matters why she was crying. I think it matters why my MIL, who knew u was accepting visitors because she was actively planning carry out dinner plans with said visitors, thought she had a right to turn away my friend, without even consulting me or DH.

Definitely a troll. Or your friend is severely unbalanced as a grown woman to cry about something like this and you write like a 7th grader. Burn whatever.

[Anonymous]

Call your friend, say you heard what happened and are so sorry she was rebuffed. Thank her for the gift, tell her how grateful you are and how thoughtful she was.
Make a plan to see her when you can.

Dunno about MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't get the friend crying.

This, which makes me think OP is a troll.

Why would your friend start crying because your MIL told her you didn't want any visitors? What?

I am not a troll. I want to ignore you because you’re being annoying, burn I’ll answer this last question.

I believe she was shocked because we had earlier discussed her stopping by with a care package, something I’ve been craving and she promised to bring me once the baby got here. I was expecting her. I think she was made to believe by my MIL’s brash comment that she wasn’t welcome. I think she was confused and hurt, maybe embarrassed, maybe a little sensitive. I don’t think it matters why she was crying. I think it matters why my MIL, who knew u was accepting visitors because she was actively planning carry out dinner plans with said visitors, thought she had a right to turn away my friend, without even consulting me or DH.

Definitely a troll. Or your friend is severely unbalanced as a grown woman to cry about something like this and you write like a 7th grader. Burn whatever.

+1. OP must think everyone gathers around in hospital rooms smoking cigars and drinking champagne like in old movies. For having a newborn to take care of OP has an awful lot of time to keep updating here and getting worked up about her MIL.

[Anonymous]

If the newer friend let in tears then I am guessing she's mad she couldn't be the star friend visiting.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think 9:53 and 10:05 conflict. It sounds like friend talked to OP but didn’t discuss MIL and that the detailed information came from OP’s sister. OP probably called or texted to say thanks for the care package and friend just focused on congratulating etc.

OP, with the added context of MIL already having shown Them v Us against your family and friends, I would definitely have him address this with MIL. I would have him be pleasant but firm, and then get back to enjoying your baby. Invite friend to meet baby and apologize that MIL sent her away. Time will tell whether MIL is going to be problematic. Having DH set boundaries now will hopefully nip things in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think 9:53 and 10:05 conflict. It sounds like friend talked to OP but didn’t discuss MIL and that the detailed information came from OP’s sister. OP probably called or texted to say thanks for the care package and friend just focused on congratulating etc.

OP, with the added context of MIL already having shown Them v Us against your family and friends, I would definitely have him address this with MIL. I would have him be pleasant but firm, and then get back to enjoying your baby. Invite friend to meet baby and apologize that MIL sent her away. Time will tell whether MIL is going to be problematic. Having DH set boundaries now will hopefully nip things in the bud.

All this happened in 12 minutes of posting? Sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think 9:53 and 10:05 conflict. It sounds like friend talked to OP but didn’t discuss MIL and that the detailed information came from OP’s sister. OP probably called or texted to say thanks for the care package and friend just focused on congratulating etc.

OP, with the added context of MIL already having shown Them v Us against your family and friends, I would definitely have him address this with MIL. I would have him be pleasant but firm, and then get back to enjoying your baby. Invite friend to meet baby and apologize that MIL sent her away. Time will tell whether MIL is going to be problematic. Having DH set boundaries now will hopefully nip things in the bud.

All this happened in 12 minutes of posting? Sure.

Try following along. You’re making yourself look stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think 9:53 and 10:05 conflict. It sounds like friend talked to OP but didn’t discuss MIL and that the detailed information came from OP’s sister. OP probably called or texted to say thanks for the care package and friend just focused on congratulating etc.

OP, with the added context of MIL already having shown Them v Us against your family and friends, I would definitely have him address this with MIL. I would have him be pleasant but firm, and then get back to enjoying your baby. Invite friend to meet baby and apologize that MIL sent her away. Time will tell whether MIL is going to be problematic. Having DH set boundaries now will hopefully nip things in the bud.

All this happened in 12 minutes of posting? Sure.

Try following along. You’re making yourself look stupid.

It’s a troll. Don’t be dense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

If you weren't able to see her would you have left in tears?

If not then not the same situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

I love when my coworkers come to visit me when I'm wear a mesh diaper with an ice pack in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

If you weren't able to see her would you have left in tears?

If not then not the same situation.

I was responding to the alternative motivations comment. But no, wouldn't have cried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

I love when my coworkers come to visit me when I'm wear a mesh diaper with an ice pack in it.

Did you invite them? She did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

I love when my coworkers come to visit me when I'm wear a mesh diaper with an ice pack in it.

Did you invite them? She did.

Well we know who showed up uninvited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you friend and MIL know each other?

Yes, they do. This isn’t one of my best friends, but it’s a newer work friend. She absolutely knows her, she was at my baby shower.

Your newer work friend visited you in the hospital?

Who cares who the friend is? It wasn't MIL's place to turn anyone away.

Boundaries people. "Newer" friends aren't hospital visiting level unless they have alternative motivations.

Years ago I visited a co-worker and her new baby in the hospital. She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit. I certainly had no alternative motivations.

I love when my coworkers come to visit me when I'm wear a mesh diaper with an ice pack in it.

Did you invite them? She did.

Pp never said she was invited.