Dating with driving kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a BF is one thing. “Dating” and having various guys over to screw and spend the night is another. I don’t blame OP for seeking guidance on this.

+1.

OP may not want to introduce every guy she sleeps with to her kids.

The odds of the kids coming home unannounced and meeting even one guy are slim-to-none.

But that's exactly what OP is talking about.

Bringing men home and the kids show up because they regard that space as their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Take it to a therapist instead of projecting it onto a thread that's not. about. you.

This is exactly what it's about, because my mom was doing exactly what OP plans to do, and what happened was exactly what OP says she is concerned about.

Your reaction to hearing your mom's BF through the closed door is not normal and you should have gotten therapy years ago instead of projecting it here.

Not closed. Locked.

As it happens I did have therapy, but there's no therapy that makes kids feel okay about being locked out of what's supposed to be their home. Surprised? My mom sure was.

Uhm, 99% of the people lock their doors. Married people, too. I seriously doubt that any amount of therapy would allow you to see that YOUR reaction is not normal. Your mother did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

Right? I really have to take into account when I read responses on DCUM just how seriously messed up most people are. I should not take most of them seriously.

[Anonymous]

Had PP's home never, ever been locked? Did she live in Pleasantville?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had PP's home never, ever been locked? Did she live in Pleasantville?

Yeah, kinda. It's normal in small towns, especially when someone is home. I didn't have my own key because we never locked it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time.

Way to bury the lede.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time.

Oh brother...the slow trickle of more damaging information......classic DCUM

Again, nothing about your situation/reaction is normal nor does it apply to OP. Please seek additional help for your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

What ridiculous sob story is this? Didn't you have a key? Why didn't you knock? You'll be a victim (by choice) all your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time.

Oh brother...the slow trickle of more damaging information......classic DCUM

Again, nothing about your situation/reaction is normal nor does it apply to OP. Please seek additional help for your issues.

The point is that OP may never know what her kids know about her dating life. Obstructing their access to their supposed "home" will make them want to know what she's hiding. And it can be hurtful in ways OP may not fully understand or acknowledge. It may cause them to spend less time with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time.

Oh brother...the slow trickle of more damaging information......classic DCUM

Again, nothing about your situation/reaction is normal nor does it apply to OP. Please seek additional help for your issues.

The point is that OP may never know what her kids know about her dating life. Obstructing their access to their supposed "home" will make them want to know what she's hiding. And it can be hurtful in ways OP may not fully understand or acknowledge. It may cause them to spend less time with OP.

No, that was you. For the third time, your reaction was not normal.

I already said multiple times that I would not be hiding from my teens if I were dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day.

Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time.

Oh brother...the slow trickle of more damaging information......classic DCUM

Again, nothing about your situation/reaction is normal nor does it apply to OP. Please seek additional help for your issues.

The point is that OP may never know what her kids know about her dating life. Obstructing their access to their supposed "home" will make them want to know what she's hiding. And it can be hurtful in ways OP may not fully understand or acknowledge. It may cause them to spend less time with OP.

No, that was you. For the third time, your reaction was not normal.

I already said multiple times that I would not be hiding from my teens if I were dating.

I think it is normal for kids to spin out when they catch their parent cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

Oh she knows. But she never misses an opportunity to tell us how much better she is because her family is intact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?