Dating with driving kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

+1

And it’s really crappy to teen kids. Sorry, it just is. Awful to do to them,

It's really crappy and awful to ask kids to communicate when their plans change?

Lordy Jaysus...

I was a grown ass adult when I showed up at my mom's house to drop off my DD for babysitting purposes. Mom had had an "adult sleepover." Her "friend" was there in his robe reading the paper. He greeted me which was fine but I wasn't expecting it. Dad passed away years ago. I'm happy for her to date but it was very uncomfortable and I wouldn't wish it on any child - young, tween, teen, or adult.

You are a myopically selfish POS person. You're grown, you're using your mom for free babysitting, but she can't have a date lest you feel uncomfortable?

Decenter yourself, princess.

It is crazy how nasty some posters to the people who are actually reporting their experiences in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

Roommates who leave and forget something aren’t required to text that they are returning to their own space. Some of you made up fake rules. It’s okay to want these rules, but no it’s normal to expect people to text that they are unexpectedly returning to their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

I have teens who still like to spend time with me, and I love it. Its only a short time till they are off to college. Why don't your kids want to spend time with you?

My kids are in college, and they love spending time with me because they don't have to, they choose to. They also communicate like decent people because they were raised properly. The eff is wrong with some of you?

You sure sound like you were raised properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

OP's kids are not adults like your kids. It's not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

DP and my family members definitely text if they are coming back for anything, running late, etc. I’m sorry you grew up in a trailer park with an open door policy (and apparently didn’t learn basic manners). There is nothing wrong with having basic respect for people you live with.

Shameless liar. No one believes you.

Yeah this is bullshit. No one texts their spouse if they leave and come back for something.

DP

I always do. If she’s in the bathroom, I want her to know it’s her spouse and not a stranger. She appreciates it.

You do when you can. You don't always do.

This you?

"Yeah this is bullshit. No one texts their spouse if they leave and come back for something."

That's an odd way of saying: "People text when they can. They don't always text."

Nope. That is not me.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them Mommy and the UPS guy were playing leapfrog in the family room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

Roommates who leave and forget something aren’t required to text that they are returning to their own space. Some of you made up fake rules. It’s okay to want these rules, but no it’s normal to expect people to text that they are unexpectedly returning to their home.

Roommates who don't want to see their roommates in flagrante delicto would be wise to text, and usually do for anything that isn't the quick "forgot something" turnaround. Similarly, children who are expected to be at their other parent's home (or sport practice, or school event, or...) would be wise to text that they've changed plans and are heading home. It's not a horrific burden, it's a simple courtesy that serves all parties involved.

Why you would not only fail to teach your kid this but also rail against it as if it were some sort of evil is beyond me. This is basic communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

I have teens who still like to spend time with me, and I love it. Its only a short time till they are off to college. Why don't your kids want to spend time with you?

My kids are in college, and they love spending time with me because they don't have to, they choose to. They also communicate like decent people because they were raised properly. The eff is wrong with some of you?

You sure sound like you were raised properly.

Such a witty reply! You've added so much to the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

Roommates who leave and forget something aren’t required to text that they are returning to their own space. Some of you made up fake rules. It’s okay to want these rules, but no it’s normal to expect people to text that they are unexpectedly returning to their home.

Roommates who don't want to see their roommates in flagrante delicto would be wise to text, and usually do for anything that isn't the quick "forgot something" turnaround. Similarly, children who are expected to be at their other parent's home (or sport practice, or school event, or...) would be wise to text that they've changed plans and are heading home. It's not a horrific burden, it's a simple courtesy that serves all parties involved.

Why you would not only fail to teach your kid this but also rail against it as if it were some sort of evil is beyond me. This is basic communication.

Because there is a difference between notifying someone and asking their permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

OP's kids are not adults like your kids. It's not the same thing.

If OP's kids are old enough to drive, they're old enough to communicate changed plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

Roommates who leave and forget something aren’t required to text that they are returning to their own space. Some of you made up fake rules. It’s okay to want these rules, but no it’s normal to expect people to text that they are unexpectedly returning to their home.

Roommates who don't want to see their roommates in flagrante delicto would be wise to text, and usually do for anything that isn't the quick "forgot something" turnaround. Similarly, children who are expected to be at their other parent's home (or sport practice, or school event, or...) would be wise to text that they've changed plans and are heading home. It's not a horrific burden, it's a simple courtesy that serves all parties involved.

Why you would not only fail to teach your kid this but also rail against it as if it were some sort of evil is beyond me. This is basic communication.

Children are not wise. That's why they are children under adult care.. As the adult, you find the work around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle this? My home is obviously the kids home. They drive so they can come and go as needed. If they go to their dads and forget something, they come back and pick it up. Or they might stop by on their way to school. I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home but I also don't want them walking in on my adult sleepover.

OP, just bringing this back to the start to find out if all the feedback has been helpful. Obviously you want your kids to feel welcome in their own home. Once you re-marry or get into a serious relationship, then it is a different calculus because they will know and hopefully like your new partner. But in the meantime, yes, getting laid is important. Do you feel like you have some solutions to work with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Children are not wise. That's why they are children under adult care.. As the adult, you find the work around.

The state considers them wise and responsible enough to operate a motor vehicle absent adult supervision.

Further, it is assumed they know how to text as texting is a topic covered in all U.S. state driver's license exams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not.

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.

It's something that intact families don't require of their children. And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine.

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise.

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!!

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers. Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them.

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. The child does not live there 100% of the time; the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens. Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash!

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication.

Roommates who leave and forget something aren’t required to text that they are returning to their own space. Some of you made up fake rules. It’s okay to want these rules, but no it’s normal to expect people to text that they are unexpectedly returning to their home.

Roommates who don't want to see their roommates in flagrante delicto would be wise to text, and usually do for anything that isn't the quick "forgot something" turnaround. Similarly, children who are expected to be at their other parent's home (or sport practice, or school event, or...) would be wise to text that they've changed plans and are heading home. It's not a horrific burden, it's a simple courtesy that serves all parties involved.

Why you would not only fail to teach your kid this but also rail against it as if it were some sort of evil is beyond me. This is basic communication.

Children are not wise. That's why they are children under adult care.. As the adult, you find the work around.

The "work around" is the same: ask people to communicate when their plans change. That's it. That's literally all it takes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Children are not wise. That's why they are children under adult care.. As the adult, you find the work around.

The state considers them wise and responsible enough to operate a motor vehicle absent adult supervision.

Further, it is assumed they know how to text as texting is a topic covered in all U.S. state driver's license exams.

+1

Some people just want to complain, not actually solve their (minor) problems. This is too easy.