Dating with driving kids

[Anonymous]

How do you handle this? My home is obviously the kids home. They drive so they can come and go as needed. If they go to their dads and forget something, they come back and pick it up. Or they might stop by on their way to school. I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home but I also don't want them walking in on my adult sleepover.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with your teens knowing you're having an adult sleepover?

[Anonymous]

I chose to not date until my youngest was away at college several states away. I had zero interest in creating this sort of icky childhood memory for mine. If you must date now, don't ever bring them over to your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I chose to not date until my youngest was away at college several states away. I had zero interest in creating this sort of icky childhood memory for mine. If you must date now, don't ever bring them over to your house.

[Anonymous]

"
What's wrong with your teens knowing you're having an adult sleepover?"

Presumably, OP's kids don't know this person. How would you feel if you walked in to grab your ski goggles and a strange man was in the bathroom showering?!?! Or sitting on your family room sofa without his shirt on???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"
What's wrong with your teens knowing you're having an adult sleepover?"

Presumably, OP's kids don't know this person. How would you feel if you walked in to grab your ski goggles and a strange man was in the bathroom showering?!?! Or sitting on your family room sofa without his shirt on???

Why don't they know???? This is assenine. They aren't little kids. They are nearly adults. It's perfectly fine for them to know that mom has a boyfriend FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I chose to not date until my youngest was away at college several states away. I had zero interest in creating this sort of icky childhood memory for mine. If you must date now, don't ever bring them over to your house.

"icky"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle this? My home is obviously the kids home. They drive so they can come and go as needed. If they go to their dads and forget something, they come back and pick it up. Or they might stop by on their way to school. I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home but I also don't want them walking in on my adult sleepover.

Why are you hiding? Are you doing forbidden things? Are you bringing multiple different men at home?
If your kids are driving, they are old enough to know.

[Anonymous]

have this exact issue. 2 teen boys, one driving. They know I’m dating someone but I haven’t tried to integrate BF into their lives (we are taking it slow, and I imagine they would both be in college before we did anything that comes in together), and I think they’d rather not think about their mom is up to sexually.

So far the way I’ve dealt with it is it’s fine if they drop by to pick anything up during the day - we aren’t walking around naked or anything. they have in fact run into BF and I just introduced them matter of factly (not saying it wasn’t awkward/didnt draw commentary later, but whatever - I’m an adult and can have people at my house). I did tell my son he can’t stop by at night, he actually did one time and I was in the bathtub and it scared the bejeezus out of me, so I told him that was not OK

[Anonymous]

Strange response. A kid can't come back to his own home at night?

[Anonymous]

Why can't you just to to his place?

[Anonymous]

Can you only date men who can host you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strange response. A kid can't come back to his own home at night?

Pretty sure PP meant "without letting her know he is coming over." Even my DH sends me a quick text "hey, don't get startled. I'm coming back home for x,y,z"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you just to to his place?

That's ridiculous. It's her house. She can do as she pleases. Some of you are utterly detached from reality.

[Anonymous]

OP: the guy I'm dating has the same issue. We're at the same place in our lives. His kids drive themselves to their moms house but also come back when they forget things.

I haven't introduced him to my kids yet and I haven't met his kids. So yeah---walking in on mom/dad and some person you don't know would be super awkward.