“Family money” becoming more important in dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to marry someone whose parents are a liability and whose siblings are a mess. You don’t have to marry rich, but don’t marry someone with a loser family.

True. But a stable family can often correlate with married parents with some decent investment assets that will be eventually passed down.

I knew to look for mental stability when dating, but naively thought wealth was not important. As a late 40s married mom, I now realize how lucky I was to pick not just a mentally stable man from a stable family, but to now also benefit from a decent transfer of generational wealth (like a couple million). We have saved a good bit on our own through stable jobs and a non-flashy life, and one day DC will inherit a nice chunk of change along with a very stable worldview (work hard, contribute to your community, live below your means, take care of your body etc.) that is also being passed down to DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to marry someone whose parents are a liability and whose siblings are a mess. You don’t have to marry rich, but don’t marry someone with a loser family.

When I was younger, I thought that my husband’s achievements and hard work were enough, but the differences between our families have caused ongoing challenges. It's tough to support his parents while also focusing on raising our own children. He often feels jealous of the close bond I have with my family, which is mostly because my parents organize and pay for our family vacations. These trips have helped us connect and create memories, while spending time with my husband’s family tends to be more expensive and stressful for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I've heard the importance of dating someone with two married parents though. They're much more focused on it than my generation was.

I'm 44 and I focused on this, because I have divorced parents and it's a giant pain. I think the focus is on avoiding anyone with a difficult family situation. Married parents can be difficult in other ways. And if someone's parent has passed away that doesn't make them a bad choice, because you don't have to hassle with divorced senior citizens in that scenario.

PP here. A widowed parent is not looked down upon like a divorced parent.

I’ve seen quite a few engaged couples smugly comment that they and their betrothed came non-divorced parents only to end up divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into money and wish I didn't. We both came from wealthy families. Not sure how to explain, but there is something distasteful about very wealthy people.

You don’t see how what these girls are doing is different? They don’t come from money.

Imagine growing up the last 20 years and seeing the hell your parents go through.

[Anonymous]

I married into money and I'm going on a very nice, free to me, vacation starting tomorrow. I endorse it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I've heard the importance of dating someone with two married parents though. They're much more focused on it than my generation was.

I'm 44 and I focused on this, because I have divorced parents and it's a giant pain. I think the focus is on avoiding anyone with a difficult family situation. Married parents can be difficult in other ways. And if someone's parent has passed away that doesn't make them a bad choice, because you don't have to hassle with divorced senior citizens in that scenario.

PP here. A widowed parent is not looked down upon like a divorced parent.

I’ve seen quite a few engaged couples smugly comment that they and their betrothed came non-divorced parents only to end up divorced.

Does this divorce stigma apply if the divorced parents are still very wealthy?

[Anonymous]

I’m an only child of wealthy parents.
While my husband’s family is wealthy as well.. His two siblings always some mess going on..it’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I've heard the importance of dating someone with two married parents though. They're much more focused on it than my generation was.

OP here - yes, I’ve heard this also.

Why are they putting so much importance on that?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These people marry each other.

+1
And I tell my kids to find their equal (in every way, including financial, intellectual, spiritual, athletic, aesthetic,, etc)

[Anonymous]

My ex husband is looking for a new beard, since my family money is no longer his. If alcoholic middle aged traveling salesmen are your shtick I’ve got a real live prospective leech for you. He will be mean to you while he resents you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I've heard the importance of dating someone with two married parents though. They're much more focused on it than my generation was.

This along w dating someone who doesn’t have a ton of siblings “ to deal with”

This!!

Im guilty of these two

I live in a city with a very low birth rate, low marriage rate and small families and my last three relationships are with people that have 4-5 siblings

🫨

I can’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I've heard the importance of dating someone with two married parents though. They're much more focused on it than my generation was.

This along w dating someone who doesn’t have a ton of siblings “ to deal with”

This!!

Im guilty of these two

I live in a city with a very low birth rate, low marriage rate and small families and my last three relationships are with people that have 4-5 siblings

🫨

I can’t

Don’t.

[Anonymous]

Generation x caught out these generation z gold diggers too much by giving them so much money. I have a cousin and her '50s and she seems to substitute attention and love by giving her kid per now 20 something year old brand name purses and nice cars and paying all her tuition at some party school.

[Anonymous]

UMC = stands to inherit millions = family money ≠ family office, 3 gilded age properties, wealth that goes back to a 1600s Massachusetts commercial enterprise, and everything that comes with it

It’s a question of degree. I imagine the youngsters are interested in the lesser degree of family money, which is still a massive transfer of wealth. Every generation has their hang ups though. This probably is some pendulum effect from their parents generations experiences.. who knows.

Only in striver circles like DCUM do people think the UMC tradition of paying for private school, college, a starter house, and having a hand me down car until 30, plus inheriting multiple millions and not needing to sweat elder care doesn’t constitute “family money” because it’s not top 0.1% wealth.

Somehow on DCUM you’re looked down on if your parents buy your house but you’re envied if you inherited a house. Not sure if you’re able to do math, but it’s essentially the same value transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband is looking for a new beard, since my family money is no longer his. If alcoholic middle aged traveling salesmen are your shtick I’ve got a real live prospective leech for you. He will be mean to you while he resents you.

Take your bitterness and your so called “wealth” to a thread that is relevant.