“Family money” becoming more important in dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently discussed this topic with my 24-year-old son and 23-year-old daughter, and here’s what they shared:

Daughter’s Perspective:
*"When it comes to dating, I look for three key qualities in a guy I’m already attracted to:

Kindness;

A good sense of humor;

The ability to build a stable future.
He doesn’t need to be successful right away—as long as he has a clear plan to get there."*

Son’s Perspective:
*"For me, two things matter most in a woman I’m already interested in:

A limited relationship history (ideally fewer than two past partners);

Someone who supports my goals and vision to secure long-term stability."*

Your son sounds like chat gpt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH's family was classic rags-to-riches-to-rags-again story of generational wealth in the apparel business, focusing on unique items. Unfortunately, DH has continued the cycle but the riches were illusory.

Shirtsleeves to shorts-as-shirts in three generations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do you think these kids learned about family money? Grandma is paying their tuition and vacation.

+1 This is most likely what changed. I never dated looking for a guy with married parents or family money. I just looked for someone who was ambitious, generous, and kind. I somehow lucked out but it is probably smart for my kids to think about all of this. My parents never talked about this stuff with me.

[Anonymous]

Nobody wants to marry someone whose parents are a liability and whose siblings are a mess. You don’t have to marry rich, but don’t marry someone with a loser family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly , the COL is going way up, it’s really hard to buy a house and replicate a UMC lifestyle. The people who can do it while working regular jobs in a big city have family money: cover house down payment, no burdensome student loans, maybe inherit someone’s car etc

Op here - I get it. I do think we are slowly slipping back to a fuedal system

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants to marry someone whose parents are a liability and whose siblings are a mess. You don’t have to marry rich, but don’t marry someone with a loser family.

I know a lot of successful men who never learned this. Married hot, fun and trashy and now have to financially support not only their own family but her broke parents and trash siblings while being miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my 50s but hearing from my daughter and her friends, it seems gen z is more cognizant of “family money” when dating?

I hear from her about her friends talking about prospects and she says young gen z men also make it a point to know if a young woman is coming from “family money” or not.

I grew up mc/umc (friend group was all parents who were engineers, attorneys, primary care physicians) but not “old money”/high finance/biglaw/“movers and shakers” and none of my friends thought if someone came from generational wealth when we were dating.

Are you also hearing this from your children?

That's a good thing they are learning about generational wealth.

Smart kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What counts as a "partner"?

How many relationships has your son had?

Dude is ready for a crash out when he finds out his wife slept with a dozen guys before they met but didn't tell him because of his insecurity.

It’s not hard to verify someone’s past if you’re willing to dig—there are professional background check services that can uncover those details for a fee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently discussed this topic with my 24-year-old son and 23-year-old daughter, and here’s what they shared:

Daughter’s Perspective:
*"When it comes to dating, I look for three key qualities in a guy I’m already attracted to:

Kindness;

A good sense of humor;

The ability to build a stable future.
He doesn’t need to be successful right away—as long as he has a clear plan to get there."*

Son’s Perspective:
*"For me, two things matter most in a woman I’m already interested in:

A limited relationship history (ideally fewer than two past partners);

Someone who supports my goals and vision to secure long-term stability."*

Your daughter (or you, because I doubt this really happened) is quoting Scott Gallaway and his vital take on what women look for. He’s said that exact thing many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I've heard the importance of dating someone with two married parents though. They're much more focused on it than my generation was.

This along w dating someone who doesn’t have a ton of siblings “ to deal with”

This!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into money and wish I didn't. We both came from wealthy families. Not sure how to explain, but there is something distasteful about very wealthy people.

Sure you did, dear.

[Anonymous]

Haha this is TikTok rhetoric. It’s mostly young women saying they want rich men. Also see “broke man” propaganda discourse.

[Anonymous]

Indian aunties have been doing this for generations. 😂

[Anonymous]

To some people, it's always been important, OP.
Now with the internet, maybe the message has widened to more young people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married into money and wish I didn't. We both came from wealthy families. Not sure how to explain, but there is something distasteful about very wealthy people.

Sure you did, dear.

😩😂