“Family money” becoming more important in dating

[Anonymous]

I’m in my 50s but hearing from my daughter and her friends, it seems gen z is more cognizant of “family money” when dating?

I hear from her about her friends talking about prospects and she says young gen z men also make it a point to know if a young woman is coming from “family money” or not.

I grew up mc/umc (friend group was all parents who were engineers, attorneys, primary care physicians) but not “old money”/high finance/biglaw/“movers and shakers” and none of my friends thought if someone came from generational wealth when we were dating.

Are you also hearing this from your children?

[Anonymous]

I married into money and wish I didn't. We both came from wealthy families. Not sure how to explain, but there is something distasteful about very wealthy people.

[Anonymous]

These people marry each other.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Honestly , the COL is going way up, it’s really hard to buy a house and replicate a UMC lifestyle. The people who can do it while working regular jobs in a big city have family money: cover house down payment, no burdensome student loans, maybe inherit someone’s car etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These people marry each other.

+1 Family money has always been important in dating among those who have it. They marry each other, and it is rare to see someone with family money marry significantly down, and if they do you can bet there is usually a prenup and other strings attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly , the COL is going way up, it’s really hard to buy a house and replicate a UMC lifestyle. The people who can do it while working regular jobs in a big city have family money: cover house down payment, no burdensome student loans, maybe inherit someone’s car etc

In this case we aren't talking about serious family money. We are just talking about the kids coming from stable boomer families that saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly , the COL is going way up, it’s really hard to buy a house and replicate a UMC lifestyle. The people who can do it while working regular jobs in a big city have family money: cover house down payment, no burdensome student loans, maybe inherit someone’s car etc

In this case we aren't talking about serious family money. We are just talking about the kids coming from stable boomer families that saved.

Sure. People know how much senior care cost and don't want to be saddled with it for a partners family. My inalws may leave us nothing but they are covered for the rest of their retirement, got a place in a good community, enough for medical care etc etc. that's all that matters to us.

[Anonymous]

DH's family was classic rags-to-riches-to-rags-again story of generational wealth in the apparel business, focusing on unique items. Unfortunately, DH has continued the cycle but the riches were illusory.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had been more aware of it. Family money can have so much baggage attached, it often isn't worth it. Gen Z is smart to consider it relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly , the COL is going way up, it’s really hard to buy a house and replicate a UMC lifestyle. The people who can do it while working regular jobs in a big city have family money: cover house down payment, no burdensome student loans, maybe inherit someone’s car etc

Op here - I get it. I do think we are slowly slipping back to a fuedal system

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my 50s but hearing from my daughter and her friends, it seems gen z is more cognizant of “family money” when dating?

I hear from her about her friends talking about prospects and she says young gen z men also make it a point to know if a young woman is coming from “family money” or not.

I grew up mc/umc (friend group was all parents who were engineers, attorneys, primary care physicians) but not “old money”/high finance/biglaw/“movers and shakers” and none of my friends thought if someone came from generational wealth when we were dating.

Are you also hearing this from your children?

It was a thing for sure where I lived (Texas and DC.)

[Anonymous]

No, not at all. There is no money talk at all at our house after initial disagreement. It was him trying to save money by asking me to file for FAFSA, and some other unfortunate ideas he had like 401k.
He spends time with his friends, takes life very easy, and is about to start work and college.
None of the young adults are into spending money at all. They all look like homeless and would rather have experiences.
I think they know that money is to follow specially because they all are going to have decent jobs, but also not spenders at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into money and wish I didn't. We both came from wealthy families. Not sure how to explain, but there is something distasteful about very wealthy people.

I’m so curious about this, would love to hear more if you wouldn’t mind sharing! Is the distaste about entitlement because they think their money makes their opinions more important than others’?

[Anonymous]

Gross.
Learn to take responsibility and make your own way in life.