Anyone's parent ask them to move out of the house after college? How did they say it?

[Anonymous]

Why does she have the impression that staying in your house rent-free is an option?

Do the reverse of whatever produced that impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you start charging rent, it is less desirable for them to stay. many parents will give the rent back once kids moves out.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never occurred to me that there was an alternative to finding a job and an apartment and supporting myself after college. So that's what I did. I didn't want to go live in my mother's house anyway.

How did you have money to 1st and last months deposit + rent an apt and support yourself right out of college? Did you already own a car? Was this the 1990s or early aughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted out after high school. I moved to another continent and put myself through school while working.
Not sure why anyone wants to stay with parents after college. No need to say anything.

Because every one is different? There are many ways to launch into adulthood and yours is not the only way!

How did you do that after high school? Did your parents give you money? What about visa for residency in another county?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What us average rent for 1 bedrooom these days?

$1500

BS! Try $2500 for a decent, livable 1 BDR

[Anonymous]

So, don't live where you can't afford. You move to an area of the country where you can work, and you can afford. And it might be with roommate.

[Anonymous]

Vacuum, 6:00 am, outside the bedroom each morning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:american parents throw their kids out into the garbage to they can live their selfish lives acting like boomers

My immigrant parents let my brother move in after college and he never left, and always thought himself to be too good to have a normal job.

Just died of liver failure at age 47.

Moving back home and not working were the worst mistakes of his life.

My kids know that they are independent at 18 -- we'll pay for college and will always love and support them, but parents need to push their kids out of the nest.

[Anonymous]

I have never had this conversation with my kids because I hope they live with us even after college. Anyways, my kid who is a junior in college asked me how many years can he live with us before we ask him to move out of our house?
I told him that he can live with us forever because our house also belongs to our children and their families. No child needs to pay rent to their parents, but, every member of the family needs to contribute to the running of the household to the best of their abilities. When he insisted that I still pick an age by which he should be out of my house or pay rent, I told him - 35 years. So my 20 yr old has 15 more years of living with zero cost in my house.

[Anonymous]

i am 50 years old, and my wife is 49 years old. We were both laid off from our Federal government jobs last month after fifteen years in the government (ten years in the private sector). We got married in 2000, right after graduation, and lived with my parents for ten years in order to save money. My parents did not charge us rent, food, and utilities, so we were able to save about 90% of our salaries after 401K and Roth IRA accounts. I was making around 90K/yr and my wife was making around 80K/yr in 2000. We used that money to invest aggressively in tech, and it really paid off in those ten years. When my wife and I were ready to move out in 2010, we had over 4M in the bank, excluding the 401K and Roth IRA accounts. We used 1M to pay cash on a home in the McLean area, and continued to invest the rest. When both of us were laid off last month, we knew we were going to be OK, because my parents let us live with them for ten years after graduation, so that we were able to save so much money. We have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of our lives without having to work another day in our lives. Our current net worth is around 10M.

I am doing the same for my two college kids. They are welcome to stay with us for as long as they want in order to save money.

[Anonymous]

My parents told me I had six weeks of living at home rent-free and after that I was welcome to stay, but needed to start paying some rent.

It let me know there was always somewhere to stay, but also let me know that I shouldn't plan on settling in.

If I had gone to my parents and said "i have a good local job and I'm saving to buy a house, can I stay" I think it would be totally reasonable for them to say yes, but ask me to chip in something. But they also hoped that I would not stay local--I did not and am very happy and they are very happy.

[Anonymous]

I get the impulse to want your kid to feel supported and there are circumstances where living at home to help meet a financial goal makes sense, but a super important part of being a parent is making sure your kids can not just stand alone on their own, but thrive.

At a minimum, I think letting a kid stay at home requires some sort of rent -- even a token amount, and refunding it when they move out is legit -- if only to teach them about financially supporting themselves. It would be bad parenting to have a 28 year old who had never paid for anything themselves.

Also, I get the impulse of wanting to keep kids close because you love them, but the fact I love my kids so much means that I want them to go wherever makes them happy -- if that's down the street from me, great! If that's Nepal, great! It would break my heart not to see them, but it would be extremely selfish to do anything to keep them from going to Nepal if that's what they want and what's best for them.

I'd rather my kids feel nudged out the door to go make their own way than stay coddled where I can enjoy having them around, but they don't live up to their very best selves.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of issues embedded together:

1. Living at home - I agree with the immigrants here, it’s economically efficient.

2. Having a job - Mandatory. If you can’t get a policy job with your masters, you can power wash houses or work at the deli until you do.

3. Supporting the household - Mandatory. I don’t even care about money though covering a share of groceries is respectful. More important is time: chores, errands. You are not a child or infirm, so having you in the home should be a net positive on household operations not a net negative.

4. Saving money - Mandatory. If this is happening no need to interfere. If your kid is struggling putting “rent” into a “future fund” makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i am 50 years old, and my wife is 49 years old. We were both laid off from our Federal government jobs last month after fifteen years in the government (ten years in the private sector). We got married in 2000, right after graduation, and lived with my parents for ten years in order to save money. My parents did not charge us rent, food, and utilities, so we were able to save about 90% of our salaries after 401K and Roth IRA accounts. I was making around 90K/yr and my wife was making around 80K/yr in 2000. We used that money to invest aggressively in tech, and it really paid off in those ten years. When my wife and I were ready to move out in 2010, we had over 4M in the bank, excluding the 401K and Roth IRA accounts. We used 1M to pay cash on a home in the McLean area, and continued to invest the rest. When both of us were laid off last month, we knew we were going to be OK, because my parents let us live with them for ten years after graduation, so that we were able to save so much money. We have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of our lives without having to work another day in our lives. Our current net worth is around 10M.

I am doing the same for my two college kids. They are welcome to stay with us for as long as they want in order to save money.

At least you’re honest in describing how much help you got from your parents. You worked hard, I’m sure, but you were fortunate to have such caring parents.

[Anonymous]

My mom and her sister told their kids they would be paying rent and following house rules (no nights spent with significant others). All those kids ended up hundreds of miles away basically as soon as we graduated.
My mom's brother told his kids they could stay as long as they needed to get on their feet. Both "boys" are still there in their 30s.
My mom is always crying about the kids moving far away and split up but she admits it's preferable to the latter situation.