Anyone's parent ask them to move out of the house after college? How did they say it?

[Anonymous]

If not right out of college, when? How old were you. I have a junior in college who is dependent time. I have been hinting that she MUST find a job in her senior year so she can begin her life and so that she can live the way she wants and afford her type lifestyle. I am hoping the job market will be better next year.

[Anonymous]

Me! My parents told my sibling and I that after college we could move home, but we'd be paying market rate in rent and they wouldn't be financially supporting us in any other way. Our car expenses, insurance, and life expenses were on us.

They fully funded my life through college and were loving parents. It always seemed reasonable to me. It didn't hurt that I had a solid job immediately after college, though.

My sibling took some time to settle on a career. My parents gave them a grace period to find a job and ratcheted up the rent slowly. Sibling had a decent job and moved out before rent at home reached market rate. It seemed like a decent compromise while landing on sibling's feet was a little tough.

[Anonymous]

It never occurred to me that there was an alternative to finding a job and an apartment and supporting myself after college. So that's what I did. I didn't want to go live in my mother's house anyway.

[Anonymous]

They always told me "after graduation, you're on your own". They didn't mean it literally-- let me stay a few weeks until my job start date, let me store stuff at home, etc., but that was always the plan.

My stepbrother malingered so they forced him to work for the family construction company, up at 4:30 every morning and minimum wage. He got his act together.

[Anonymous]

We let our son live at home for 2 1/2 years after graduation and he saved more than $100k. We did not charge rent. Great start for him. Do not regret it at all.

[Anonymous]

if you start charging rent, it is less desirable for them to stay. many parents will give the rent back once kids moves out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If not right out of college, when? How old were you. I have a junior in college who is dependent time. I have been hinting that she MUST find a job in her senior year so she can begin her life and so that she can live the way she wants and afford her type lifestyle. I am hoping the job market will be better next year.

Ok moron please by all means tell your kid you suck as a parent.

One the job market will be way worse than today that is a fact. Anyone knowing Econ 101 understands that.

Two what’s wrong with you? Hate your kid?

Yes many kids find jobs and move out at graduation some are not as lucky. Give. The US at this moment in time you will be lucky if your kid gets to finish college fool .

[Anonymous]

My friend has two kids in college. She and her husband just moved from their 4 bed house into a 2 bed condo. I don’t know what they told the kids, but there is no place for them to come back. Even the college breaks are going to be tight - one kid will have to sleep on the living room couch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We let our son live at home for 2 1/2 years after graduation and he saved more than $100k. We did not charge rent. Great start for him. Do not regret it at all.

This is also our plan. We cannot afford to hand DS a down payment outright so this is our way of helping him on to the property ladder at an insignificant cost to us.

[Anonymous]

H's father took him aside a month before he turned 18 and told him that he would be allowed to live at home to finish HS. After that, if he or most of his siblings wanted to come home for breaks or whatever, they needed to be working. Same man told his oldest daughter to pack her bags and be out of the house when she got pregnant senior year.

He wonders why his non-golden child kids aren't close to him.

[Anonymous]

To answer the OP, be sure to clearly set the expectations. Do you want them out in June or by September? Most kids don’t really want to live with their parents after having so much freedom in college. If they do live at home for a brief period of time, you set rules, from chores to overnight guests. The stricter your rules, the more they will be motivated to leave. The biggest difference I see from my life compared to my kids lives was individual space in the family home. If a kid has their own bed, bath and unlimited food in your house, why would they want to leave?

[Anonymous]

My (fantastic) parents made it very clear that we had one year after college to live at home to save up, then either had to move out or begin paying rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My (fantastic) parents made it very clear that we had one year after college to live at home to save up, then either had to move out or begin paying rent.

Same here but it was six months. We knew that was the deal long before graduation. They gave us a break on rent and we knew they would always be there in a true crisis. It was clear that their rule wasn’t about not loving us, but their belief that at a certain age it was healthy and appropriate for kids to be independent, and we accepted that.

There are five of us and two moved back for brief periods in their 20s (but paid them.)

[Anonymous]

I think it's possible to have balance without being punitive for things outside of their control.

My parents set clear expectations that they would help me cover the tuition/board at college (I had financial aid and loans as well) but any extras were entirely on me to provide through my various jobs. So if you're just paying your daughter's credit card bill while she's in college and not setting spending limits, you have unfortunately set a precedent. The time to cut that off is now.

So there's a very different situation between someone who lives at home, has a job, and buys their own stuff versus someone who isn't working and just puts down mom and dad's credit card for everything.

You also have to learn to find ways to make money. I babysat regularly through law school and even occasionally when I was getting started as a lawyer. It made the difference in being able to afford to eat out occasionally. So going home and doing no work is an option. Perfect jobs rarely just fall in your lap.

So I don't believe in all or nothing because I graduated in 2009 and saw the struggle of finding a job in a recession with my classmates. But I do also firmly believe in boundaries and requiring an adult kid who lives at home to pull their weight around the house and cover their own spending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My (fantastic) parents made it very clear that we had one year after college to live at home to save up, then either had to move out or begin paying rent.

Exactly what we've told our kids. We've been very clear about this and they've all understood. FWIW - all graduated debt free so this was about allowing them to save.