How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
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Anonymous
| Not very concerned. I met my husband at 19 and he was more than 10 years older than me. Definitely give a refresher on birth control, consent, etc. Look up your state's laws on statutory rape. She could get him into trouble. |
Anonymous
Yep, definitely blame the child victim. |
Anonymous
|
I think some people are blowing this out of proportion. A jr/sr dating a college student happens all the time. They are peers, they have shared interests, jobs, school, etc.
If he were graduated/didn’t go to college, I would be more worried that he might try to encourage her to join him in the “real” world. But both in school? I would not be as worried & treat it as if she were dating a classmate (so I’m not approving weekends staying over at his school, but they can date under the regular house rules). |
Anonymous
| They have a lot in common. It’s fine. |
Anonymous
How f’ing dramatic. Newsflash - 18yr olds have A LOT of sex and most don’t get pregnant. There are these things called condoms, birth control pills, IUD’s, plan B, etc… |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't be concerned at all. Sounds perfectly normal and acceptable to me. When I was 17, I dated a 23-year-old guy. Most of my friends dated older guys as well. I met my husband when I was 19 (40 years ago now) and he's 6 years older than I am. Your daughter is nearly 18. Let her live her life. |
Anonymous
She's neither a victim nor a child shortly. As a parent of kids this age you need to learn to think in the grey with some of this. You sound like you have 5 year olds. We are talking about a 3 year gap here which is about average for marriages in the US. Acting like he's a pedophile and she's a victim is not helpful or (as described) accurate. |
Anonymous
| They are probably a great match. These things sort themselves out naturally. She found him organically on the job. Let them be. |
Anonymous
| A 21 year old working at a summer camp is kind of weird. Most 21 year old in college are gunning for an internship. I understand her interest in him, but his interest in her seems off. As others have said, their age difference (at this point in their life) s big. Will they both be going back to the same camp this summer? |
Anonymous
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Down the road, a three year age difference is nothing but now, while your DD is in high school - well, as PP said, I totally get her interest in him but I don’t quite understand why he would be interested in someone in HS, when he’s moved beyond it. Then again, I haven’t met your DD and I imagine she is mature and you described the similar music interest…
I would definitely ask that they stay “just friends” until she turns 18 - so this summer, all bets are off but while your DD is finishing her junior year…no dating yet. |
Anonymous
| He sounds like a loser |
Anonymous
Creeper |
Anonymous
They still do in most states. MAGA Republicans have gone to the mat to preserve that. https://19thnews.org/2023/07/explaining-child-marriage-laws-united-states/ |
Anonymous
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A few days after I turned 18 when I was a freshman in college, I met a 22 year old junior (he had taken a gap year) who I ended up dating for 2 years in college. The age gap didn’t feel so big, but there was definitely some pressure sexually (I was a virgin when we met). Now looking back, I wish I had spent more time making friends instead of hanging out with him. But learned a lot of lessons through that relationship and grew up a lot.
I don’t think my mom intervening would’ve made me do anything different though, so I would just be there to support her and have those conversations about birth control and making sure she still takes the time to meet people at college. |
Anonymous
Do youthink it would have been different if you dated another 18 year old who may have also been sexually experienced? |