How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy

[Anonymous]

And what would you do in this scenario if anything?

DD will be 18 end of June. They met over the summer. From what I can tell he's a nice respectful kid , but he's 21. DD has never shown much interest in boys till now save a few celebrity crushes and a crush on a classmate a year or two ago.. She's a fairly shy/introverted kid overall. I've talked with her about sex, consent, respect etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Shut it down. He bought not be interested in her after she turns 18

[Anonymous]

I would not let her be alone with him until she’s 18. After that there’s nothing you can do except buy a crib and get ready to raise the baby.

[Anonymous]

I’d be concerned, they are at two different life stages. He will be a barrier to her educational goals. Why is dating her, not someone closer to his age or stage? My daughter had a 22 yo interested in her at 18, and she thought it was weird. If they truly have a lot in common then they can remain distant friends until she finishes college.

[Anonymous]

Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

Red flag!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

Red flag!

what's the red flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

Red flag!

Why red flag? I’m thinking she was a counselor too. If she was a 16 yr old camper over the summer than ok, red flag, and I’d make sure they don’t go beyond “talking”

Either way OP, I wouldn’t let them actively date. They are in two different places in life. Once she is 18 and in college, he’ll likely be graduated but at that time she can do what she wants

[Anonymous]

As the mom of a DD it would concern me.
However, my nephew is 21 and dating a 17yo. They met through work and both families have met and all seems to be well. He is a nice kid, respectful and she is his first girlfriend.
So I don’t know, I’d try snd base it on personality and whether he seek me to care for her, and not just focus on age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And what would you do in this scenario if anything?

DD will be 18 end of June. They met over the summer. From what I can tell he's a nice respectful kid , but he's 21. DD has never shown much interest in boys till now save a few celebrity crushes and a crush on a classmate a year or two ago.. She's a fairly shy/introverted kid overall. I've talked with her about sex, consent, respect etc.

Are they in the same city now? Hopefully not and they don't see each other that often.

I would do all I could to slow it down and stress how nice it is to have guys like this as friends. Is she going to college next year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And what would you do in this scenario if anything?

DD will be 18 end of June. They met over the summer. From what I can tell he's a nice respectful kid , but he's 21. DD has never shown much interest in boys till now save a few celebrity crushes and a crush on a classmate a year or two ago.. She's a fairly shy/introverted kid overall. I've talked with her about sex, consent, respect etc.

I would be cautious but, wouldn't shut it down. After all, they are just talking and she will be 18 soon enough. Talking to someone isn't a crime and lots of 21 year old men are immature.

[Anonymous]

There's not that much difference between a mature high school senior and a college student.

People like who they like.

Within the past 100 years, the DD was in range to become a wife in lots of cultures around the world.

It's prudent to ask for dating to wait until 18 to respect what's currently required in our culture. But I don't think it's a good or kind idea to prohibit them from being friends.

Men are often immature at the same age and women can benefit from dating older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

Huge red flag.

This is. Disaster waiting to happen

You need to talk to your daughter birth control now!

Also her educational goals keep taking so not let him get in her head.

You can not forbid her she will want him more but keep talking and birth control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's not that much difference between a mature high school senior and a college student.

People like who they like.

Within the past 100 years, the DD was in range to become a wife in lots of cultures around the world.

It's prudent to ask for dating to wait until 18 to respect what's currently required in our culture. But I don't think it's a good or kind idea to prohibit them from being friends.

Men are often immature at the same age and women can benefit from dating older.

This is probably not this guy's intention

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

Huge red flag.

This is. Disaster waiting to happen

You need to talk to your daughter birth control now!

Also her educational goals keep taking so not let him get in her head.

You can not forbid her she will want him more but keep talking and birth control

I swear some of y'all are crazy.