DW's Inheritance- Beach House

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'

How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

You asked how you address an asshat like this. The answer is, you don’t. Sounds like he didn’t even ask you before he offered, and when he informed you about it, you told him no. Let him fume.

From your other posts, I assume that in addition to no legal rights to the house, he also doesn’t have physical access (no key or door code). If he has those things I’d suggest changing the locks or the code, just so you’re not surprised by uninvited guests. Otherwise there is nothing for you to do but hold the line.

Hopefully he’ll realize he’s being an asshat and calm down. If he doesn’t, well that sucks, but honestly I’d rather end the relationship with my brother (who has responsible sons in college that I have known all their lives that I still wouldn’t let summer in any property I own) than agree to something as outrageous as this.

[Anonymous]

Yo I get it y'all are married and sh**t, but that's her inheritance. Let her deal with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

OP here.

My wife and own the house jointly.

For tax purposes (knowing this was how we would divide the assests before executing it) he agreed to a larger share of the main house sale in exchange for signing a quit claim deed on the beach house. He has no ownership rights whatsoever.

Thank you for clarifying that. So he has no claim whatsoever to the house. He can't use it without the permission of the owners, you and your wife. Just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On what planet does anyone think it’s OK to offer up someone else’s house? What bizarre behavior!

I’ll go one further, on what plan does anyone think it’s OK to offer up any house to 20-year-old frat boys?!?

[Anonymous]

PP here and DC know we won’t even let them stay at the house with friends until they are all over 21. Actually, we originally told him 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t co-own it, your wife is the owner. Her inheritance, not yours. So her decision.

Bingo! You don't own half OP.

[Anonymous]

If the girlfriend is from there why doesn't she offer one of her relative's houses to a group of frat boys she's never met for the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t co-own it, your wife is the owner. Her inheritance, not yours. So her decision.

Found the idiot that doesn't know about community property.

[Anonymous]

Ugh

[Anonymous]

Your wife needs to put her brother in his place.

[Anonymous]

I am amazed that more people don't lie to relatives. I would have said absolutely not because we are selling the house this spring.

Then spring comes and you say you found out repairs need to be done so you are hiring someone this summer or you are doing the work this summer.

I would in all seriousness consider selling. It never really works out one sibling or family member keeping a beach house. It ALWAYS leads to some type of resentment from the relatives who don't own the house, but in the past had free rein of going to the beach house and staying. And it sound like a money pit. For all the money you spend you can just rent out a much nicer house.

[Anonymous]

I have eerily similar situation - one family member took a vacation house in exchange for less cash and now faces requests from the other family members to use it. Here were some helpful rules that kept the peace:

a) nobody gets to stay longer than a week
b) free stays are for immediate family only - friends of friends are not included (or in this case- the friends of a son of a girlfriend)
c) don’t ask for holidays or peak weeks - the new owner has dibs on those and shouldn’t be put in uncomfortable situation.
d) anyone can feel free to inquire about market rate rents which will be considered on a case by case basis.

[Anonymous]

I realize everyone on DCUM is a breath away from divorce court, but some of us are happily married and include our spouses in our inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize everyone on DCUM is a breath away from divorce court, but some of us are happily married and include our spouses in our inheritance.

+1
People saying it’s hers not his are out of it. Maybe initially for the first five minutes of ownership. Then it was turned into joint property and has been for 4 years. It doesn’t remain separate just because it started that way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t co-own it, your wife is the owner. Her inheritance, not yours. So her decision.

Found the idiot that doesn't know about community property.

^Found the idiot who doesn't know the most basic point of inheritance laws.