DW's Inheritance- Beach House

[Anonymous]

You are right, he is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is he talking about this with you instead of his sister?

OP again

Because I've known him for 30 years and I own half of what he is trying to give away?

[Anonymous]

Tell him to pound sand, but not around the house.

[Anonymous]

I suppose he wants to look generous in front of his girlfriend's son. Is this par for the course with the brother, OP? Or out of left field? My response, if the former, would just be a bald no. No explanations are necessary for continual takers. If the latter, I would take the time to explain how much money and labor this house is costing you, and that you're not looking to rent it out for now - hint, interested people would need to rent it!

[Anonymous]

Change the locks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

You and your wife are 100 percent in the right. BIL is presumptuous. Sounds like he's trying to please and impress his girlfriend by giving her son a place to take the frat brothers to party. Nothing to do or change here, except maybe for your wife to tell her brother that he didn't seem to feel all those warm fuzzy feelings about the house at the time he agreed it would be hers and yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'


How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

A) Rich people's problems, tiny violin. B) Ask him if he'd like to return $200K in order to have 50% use of the beach house, also entailing 50% of property taxes and upkeep moving forward. But that would never translate to more than half the summer.

This. He could buy into the beach house with his part of the estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'


How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

A) Rich people's problems, tiny violin. B) Ask him if he'd like to return $200K in order to have 50% use of the beach house, also entailing 50% of property taxes and upkeep moving forward. But that would never translate to more than half the summer.

This. He could buy into the beach house with his part of the estate.

OP here.

He had the chance and didn't want it. That door closed. I'm not interested in co owning a place with a guy that lives clear across the country and feels he can lend it out to whomever he feels. No way, no how. It's ours, not his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'


How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

A) Rich people's problems, tiny violin. B) Ask him if he'd like to return $200K in order to have 50% use of the beach house, also entailing 50% of property taxes and upkeep moving forward. But that would never translate to more than half the summer.

This. He could buy into the beach house with his part of the estate.

OP here.

He had the chance and didn't want it. That door closed. I'm not interested in co owning a place with a guy that lives clear across the country and feels he can lend it out to whomever he feels. No way, no how. It's ours, not his.

NP. Just verifying that you and your DW are the only two on the deed, correct?

[Anonymous]

I would remind him that he sold the rights to his childhood beach house for 400K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

+1

[Anonymous]

This is a tricky situation, OP. I got into a terrible fight with a sibling over a similar situation. It pretty much ended our relationship.
The question is: How important is your relationship with your wife's brother? I didn't have a good relationship with my greedy, lying sibling, so ending that relationship wasn't the worst thing in the world, although it did make me very sad.

I suggest trying reason: The house is yours. You spend a lot of time and money on it every year. Yes, it's empty a lot of the time, as most beach houses are. But it's YOURS, and you want to be able to use it whenever you want. You do not want a total stranger living in YOUR house.

If you trust this kid (I would NOT! I have a 20-year-old, and I know how careless they can be, even great kids!), then maybe suggest renting the house to the kid for a weekend or for a week? But for the whole summer? Whaaaaa? It's YOUR house. You want to use a beach house during the summer!

It won't end well, OP, but you must do what's right for you or you will end up very resentful. I resented my greedy relative until I demanded what was rightfully mine, and the greedy relative (who had to give it to me) got all pouty and angry and stormed off. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

^^^ Just re-read your post. The frat boys are a deal killer. Do you care about your house? No frat house I've ever seen in my life is in good condition. Frat boys destroy real estate, even beautiful historic houses. They do not care about your house and will not treat it well, nor will they fix anything they break. You'll end up suing them, and it will turn into a big mess. A big fat hard "NO!" and "HELL NO!" to that.

[Anonymous]

On what planet does anyone think it’s OK to offer up someone else’s house? What bizarre behavior!