DW's Inheritance- Beach House

[Anonymous]

Is this outlandish request par for the course with the brother or out of left field?

[Anonymous]

This is so easy. Hard no and make sure they have no access.

[Anonymous]

Inheritance is not considered community property in Virginia or most other states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that more people don't lie to relatives. I would have said absolutely not because we are selling the house this spring.

Then spring comes and you say you found out repairs need to be done so you are hiring someone this summer or you are doing the work this summer.

I would in all seriousness consider selling. It never really works out one sibling or family member keeping a beach house. It ALWAYS leads to some type of resentment from the relatives who don't own the house, but in the past had free rein of going to the beach house and staying. And it sound like a money pit. For all the money you spend you can just rent out a much nicer house.

I was just browsing through this thread, and this makes the most sense to me. I couldn’t figure out why the brother thought he could just offer up his sister’s beach house. This helps clarify that for me. He never owned the house, but when his parents were alive, he could always freely use it. He probably brought his friends there when he was in college, so it made sense to him to offer this up to his girlfriend’s son.
Obviously, this makes no logical sense. But I see how, emotionally, he could get there.

I agree that it probably makes sense to try to sell it and buy a different house or use the money to take some other great vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have eerily similar situation - one family member took a vacation house in exchange for less cash and now faces requests from the other family members to use it. Here were some helpful rules that kept the peace:

a) nobody gets to stay longer than a week
b) free stays are for immediate family only - friends of friends are not included (or in this case- the friends of a son of a girlfriend)
c) don’t ask for holidays or peak weeks - the new owner has dibs on those and shouldn’t be put in uncomfortable situation.
d) anyone can feel free to inquire about market rate rents which will be considered on a case by case basis.

What’s interesting is probably was not a free for all with the prior owner. The people I know with beach houses might invite family to visit and stay with them as a mini vacation and as a way to spend time together. Other than that the expectation is that it’s primarily available for their own use or available to rent out if they so choose. “Free stays” without the beach owner there was more like a gift - like if someone was getting married offering them the lake house for their week and was in no way an expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

From OP's description, he never had an interest. There were three properties in the estate. Two were sold. When the proceeds were split, the brother received $400k more instead of a half share of the beach house, which then passed from the estate to OP's wife (and then to OP jointly). There is no need to make this complicated at all.

Yeah tell him to buy a beach house with that $400k and foh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have multiple family members with beach houses. None of them would let their own sons party there alone with friends. One offered it to her future daughter in law for her bachelorette party but did NOT let her own son have his bachelor's party there!

Hilariously sexist! 🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn’t let a bunch of dudes either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'

How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

OP, is there any possibility that the adopted son works in the intelligence community (IC) and needs to use said beach house as a surveillance point/dead drop for a particular investigation or ongoing situation? BIL may be trying to acquire use of the house on these friendly terms so that IC personnel can get “eyes on” target(s) without attracting attention. If so please consider your nation, This America, and take the high road. TIA

Pfft. He ll no! Can you imagine the clean up effort if some transporter type fist fight kicked off within the property? Your house is not a bond movie set

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

From OP's description, he never had an interest. There were three properties in the estate. Two were sold. When the proceeds were split, the brother received $400k more instead of a half share of the beach house, which then passed from the estate to OP's wife (and then to OP jointly). There is no need to make this complicated at all.

It was left to him in the will, so he had an interest. It's unclear from OP's explanation whether the arrangement was anything beyond an agreement. The law is what might make it complicated.

It's likely that the will split the estate 50/50 between the two children, and the brother took a greater share of the proceeds form the sale of the other two properties in lieu of an interest in the house. At least that's what the OP's posts suggest (and it's how most wills are drafted absent any special considerations). If that's the case, the brother never had an interest in the house.

You seem intent on making this overly complicated, without the knowledge to really understand what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have eerily similar situation - one family member took a vacation house in exchange for less cash and now faces requests from the other family members to use it. Here were some helpful rules that kept the peace:

a) nobody gets to stay longer than a week
b) free stays are for immediate family only - friends of friends are not included (or in this case- the friends of a son of a girlfriend)
c) don’t ask for holidays or peak weeks - the new owner has dibs on those and shouldn’t be put in uncomfortable situation.
d) anyone can feel free to inquire about market rate rents which will be considered on a case by case basis.

What’s interesting is probably was not a free for all with the prior owner. The people I know with beach houses might invite family to visit and stay with them as a mini vacation and as a way to spend time together. Other than that the expectation is that it’s primarily available for their own use or available to rent out if they so choose. “Free stays” without the beach owner there was more like a gift - like if someone was getting married offering them the lake house for their week and was in no way an expectation.

The prior owner was the brother’s parents, and he hasn’t lived near there for many years.
I bet it was a free for all for him as a child and young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the girlfriend is from there why doesn't she offer one of her relative's houses to a group of frat boys she's never met for the summer.

This! +♾️

she sounds like a user and abuser. And like she’s only going to be with him temporarily until she finds a bigger fool

[Anonymous]

The brother mentioned the beach house to impress his new girlfriend.
The girl friend said “my son wants to take a vacation with his friends”.
Brother, Sure.
You, No
Have sympathy and come up with some kind of compromise, he still needs to impress his new woman.

[Anonymous]

I agree with a PP- tell him you’re selling the place. And offer up some realtor suggestions for rentals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



OP said pages ago that he AND his wife have owned the beach house for 4 years. The BIL is not the legal owner. OP is, and his wife, jointly.

Learn to read.

If you read and used critical thinking skills, you would understand that you are assuming. You might be assuming correctly, but when asked who is on the deed he just replied with they own the house. Clearly they paid a settlement meant to make them the owners, but did they carry through with documentation. People are just trying to make sure all nuances of BIL seemingly crazy claims are indeed crazy.

Are you wetarded, on the spectrum or both? If OP claims to own the house, he is on the deed and the BIL is not. That's what the entire thread is about. BIL wants exclusive use of something that isn't his.

I seriously can't believe how stupid some people are. This isn't remotely complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inheritance is not considered community property in Virginia or most other states.

It is if both names are on the deed of the house - which it sounds like it is.