Losing respect for dh over passivity about the election

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s imagine if this post was written by a Trump-supporting DH about his wife. People would calling him crazy and abusive and they would be right.

Exactly. We each have our own individual votes because our country fought for that right. Stop trying to make your spouse you especially after people worked so hard to include every citizen in the country to have their own vote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll

I truly am not a troll.
I cannot be the only person dealing with meh spouse. I do think he cares but he’s just so passive. I feel like I want him to be doing things

Ahh F U and Harris too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m extremely concerned about the election. I think trump is a petulant vengeful baby who brings out the worst and appeals to the worst in humanity and cannot believe he is on the ticket (have voted both ways in the past but trump to me is next level insane). Trying to get dh to do canvassing/ phone banking but he doesn’t want to and is not concerned bc ‘it’s fine’ and ‘Kamala will win’. Clearly the polls do not clearly show this and to me his disinterest is personal - so many more women and babies have died since roe reversed. I just feel like he is a weenie not to be as fired up as I am or at least in the ballpark of it. Anyone else?

Politics is like the weather, there really isn’t anything a random individual can do to move the needle much. This election is going to come down to the choices of a small group of undecided voters, and it’s very hard to figure out how to motivate them because anyone who pays any attention at all to politics made up their mind long ago. Who knows what they are thinking? What you really want is for your DH is to engage in performative but immaterial actions to signal his anti-Trump bona fides, and it’s perfectly rational for him to conclude that this is a waste of effort. There is no point in neurotic angst about the elections, it won’t change a thing. Some people want to feel like they are doing something, some people see no point to it at this stage of the game. Both perspectives reasonable IMO. I think you’re really just worried about the outcome and taking it out on him.

[Anonymous]

If your DH is like me, just ask him to write a check.

[Anonymous]

PS - if you're a white woman married to a white man, be thankful he's not voting for Trump. Vast majority of white men (around 60%) will vote for Trump this year.

There's women with your same views who have husbands eagerly embracing Trump and bringing those values into their house + spreading them to their kids.

Give your DH a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know a single person who has been swayed by phone calls, canvassing, post cards whatever. a total waste of time.

Decide if you want your marriage to die on this hill. I would be super annoyed if my DH asked me to do this crap. As if I already don’t have million things on my plate.

Also-do you know these babies/women who have died? You are creating scenarios in your head. Yes there are a few states who have gone out of their way to make it harder but those same states never made it easy in the first place. For example, some of those states had one clinic-one. Let’s say that place was 3 hours from the person who needed it-it’s just as much work for them to go there as it is to drive over to another state where it’s easier.

Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17. In NC when you needed parent authorization at that time. I actually drove to DC to get it. And that was way before Roe was reversed. Just something to think about. it’s not like it was always super easy before.

“Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17.”

You people are truly demented. Even if you are pro-choice, treating an abortion like a cool anecdote, like that time you went whitewater rafting, is callous and disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know a single person who has been swayed by phone calls, canvassing, post cards whatever. a total waste of time.

Decide if you want your marriage to die on this hill. I would be super annoyed if my DH asked me to do this crap. As if I already don’t have million things on my plate.

Also-do you know these babies/women who have died? You are creating scenarios in your head. Yes there are a few states who have gone out of their way to make it harder but those same states never made it easy in the first place. For example, some of those states had one clinic-one. Let’s say that place was 3 hours from the person who needed it-it’s just as much work for them to go there as it is to drive over to another state where it’s easier.

Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17. In NC when you needed parent authorization at that time. I actually drove to DC to get it. And that was way before Roe was reversed. Just something to think about. it’s not like it was always super easy before.

“Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17.”

You people are truly demented. Even if you are pro-choice, treating an abortion like a cool anecdote, like that time you went whitewater rafting, is callous and disgusting.

you obviously missed the point completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know a single person who has been swayed by phone calls, canvassing, post cards whatever. a total waste of time.

Decide if you want your marriage to die on this hill. I would be super annoyed if my DH asked me to do this crap. As if I already don’t have million things on my plate.

Also-do you know these babies/women who have died? You are creating scenarios in your head. Yes there are a few states who have gone out of their way to make it harder but those same states never made it easy in the first place. For example, some of those states had one clinic-one. Let’s say that place was 3 hours from the person who needed it-it’s just as much work for them to go there as it is to drive over to another state where it’s easier.

Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17. In NC when you needed parent authorization at that time. I actually drove to DC to get it. And that was way before Roe was reversed. Just something to think about. it’s not like it was always super easy before.

“Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17.”

You people are truly demented. Even if you are pro-choice, treating an abortion like a cool anecdote, like that time you went whitewater rafting, is callous and disgusting.

This is why there has never been a reasonable consensus. Liberals simply went too far in the other direction and act like getting an abortion is the same as getting a haircut.

Instead of acknowledging the very real feelings that many anti-abortion folks have about how complicated of an issue it is, and then it is always tragic but sometimes necessary. Obviously I can’t prove it but I think the right wouldn’t have dug their heels in so hard if the left hadn’t been so flippant.

[Anonymous]

Somewhat different take - I don't think you can force DH to be politically active, but perhaps he can offer to watch kids (if you have any, etc) so you can canvass, phone bank etc. My DH is not politically active now (he once was) but he does this for me and supports my engagement.

[Anonymous]

Canvassing and phone banking are annoying and a complete turn off. You are pissing off potential voters by soliciting. Nobody wants to be harassed by either party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you should be more concerned about is our safety and security. Crime in this country is up 45% and we’re on the verge of world war 3. Inflation is through the roof and people can’t afford to live. You want four more years of that ?

Nope: crime is down, not up. The other two issues were exacerbated by Trump era policies that we are still dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whether he does phone banking/canvassing or not will not change the outcome of the election. You are trying to control something that you actually do not have control over. Your dh is being realistic. You are redirecting your anxiety about the election into anger at him. This is a you problem, not a him problem.

I agree with the above, that this is a projection. I’m with you in spirit, OP - I think I’m more agitated than my spouse, to the extent that I’m seriously suggesting that we move abroad if Trump is reelected, but demanding action beyond voting is a big ask.

I thought you moved to Canada in 2016? Adios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Canvassing and phone banking are annoying and a complete turn off. You are pissing off potential voters by soliciting. Nobody wants to be harassed by either party.

Very true even if that's who you are voting for. If they were just canvassing in low voter turnout areas maybe I'd give them a pass but they don't do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know a single person who has been swayed by phone calls, canvassing, post cards whatever. a total waste of time.

Decide if you want your marriage to die on this hill. I would be super annoyed if my DH asked me to do this crap. As if I already don’t have million things on my plate.

Also-do you know these babies/women who have died? You are creating scenarios in your head. Yes there are a few states who have gone out of their way to make it harder but those same states never made it easy in the first place. For example, some of those states had one clinic-one. Let’s say that place was 3 hours from the person who needed it-it’s just as much work for them to go there as it is to drive over to another state where it’s easier.

Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17. In NC when you needed parent authorization at that time. I actually drove to DC to get it. And that was way before Roe was reversed. Just something to think about. it’s not like it was always super easy before.

“Fun fact-I had an abortion when I was 17.”

You people are truly demented. Even if you are pro-choice, treating an abortion like a cool anecdote, like that time you went whitewater rafting, is callous and disgusting.

This is why there has never been a reasonable consensus. Liberals simply went too far in the other direction and act like getting an abortion is the same as getting a haircut.

Instead of acknowledging the very real feelings that many anti-abortion folks have about how complicated of an issue it is, and then it is always tragic but sometimes necessary. Obviously I can’t prove it but I think the right wouldn’t have dug their heels in so hard if the left hadn’t been so flippant.

The best way to prevent abortion is comprehensive sex education in schools and easy/free access to birth control. If the GOP was fighting for those things, we’d be in agreement. Until then, you are only arguing about controlling women.

[Anonymous]

You need to get your anxiety under control