Losing respect for dh over passivity about the election

[Anonymous]

I’m extremely concerned about the election. I think trump is a petulant vengeful baby who brings out the worst and appeals to the worst in humanity and cannot believe he is on the ticket (have voted both ways in the past but trump to me is next level insane). Trying to get dh to do canvassing/ phone banking but he doesn’t want to and is not concerned bc ‘it’s fine’ and ‘Kamala will win’. Clearly the polls do not clearly show this and to me his disinterest is personal - so many more women and babies have died since roe reversed. I just feel like he is a weenie not to be as fired up as I am or at least in the ballpark of it. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll

I truly am not a troll.
I cannot be the only person dealing with meh spouse. I do think he cares but he’s just so passive. I feel like I want him to be doing things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll

I truly am not a troll.
I cannot be the only person dealing with meh spouse. I do think he cares but he’s just so passive. I feel like I want him to be doing things

Also I feel like I was toning this down in order to defend not being a troll. I am actually super p***ed at him.

[Anonymous]

Whether he does phone banking/canvassing or not will not change the outcome of the election. You are trying to control something that you actually do not have control over. Your dh is being realistic. You are redirecting your anxiety about the election into anger at him. This is a you problem, not a him problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether he does phone banking/canvassing or not will not change the outcome of the election. You are trying to control something that you actually do not have control over. Your dh is being realistic. You are redirecting your anxiety about the election into anger at him. This is a you problem, not a him problem.

But then why do people do those things?

[Anonymous]

You are being a control freak. Leave poor DH alone!

[Anonymous]

Not everyone emotes the same way.

[Anonymous]

Leave your husband alone. He’s an adult and capable of making his own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether he does phone banking/canvassing or not will not change the outcome of the election. You are trying to control something that you actually do not have control over. Your dh is being realistic. You are redirecting your anxiety about the election into anger at him. This is a you problem, not a him problem.

I agree with the above, that this is a projection. I’m with you in spirit, OP - I think I’m more agitated than my spouse, to the extent that I’m seriously suggesting that we move abroad if Trump is reelected, but demanding action beyond voting is a big ask.

[Anonymous]

You sound exhausting Op. let your DH be.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fair to be irritated because this is something you care about and he is being dismissive. It would not be a heavy lift to write some GOTV postcards together. It's also fair to reevaluate whether you still have shared values.

However, it might be helpful to imagine him canvassing with you (or whatever) and ask whether that would actually make you feel better. It might not.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like OP. She's always angry and anxious at the world and doesn't realize she's the main. Instigator locally. It's exhausting being around her.

[Anonymous]

I used to care more but now I’ve had a couple tragic events to deal with and the election isn’t on my mind.
So please don’t fault him for not canvassing. Doesn’t mean he’s bad or disengaged. Don’t great a problem where there is none

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to care more but now I’ve had a couple tragic events to deal with and the election isn’t on my mind.
So please don’t fault him for not canvassing. Doesn’t mean he’s bad or disengaged. Don’t great a problem where there is none

Don’t create a problem