Losing respect for dh over passivity about the election

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he disagrees with your political choices and is being polite and avoiding drama with you?

+1. That was my first thought too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you know that a lot of political science and economics research has been devoted to trying to figure out why people vote at all, because economic models of individual behavior indicate that it is not individually rational to vote? I guess your husband is economically rational. You, on the other hand, well... lol

OP is talking about impactful actions not voting, so you, on the other hand, well…lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you know that a lot of political science and economics research has been devoted to trying to figure out why people vote at all, because economic models of individual behavior indicate that it is not individually rational to vote? I guess your husband is economically rational. You, on the other hand, well... lol

NP but this is actually intriguing. Can you suggest some starting point to read about this for total laymen?

[Anonymous]

OP, you are understandably frustrated with the overall situation. You feel powerless to solve an important problem, and that is psychologically distressing. Your gut is motivating you to act. This is how you solve problems that harming you, when it’s possible. But this is bigger than you. Practice grace, and try to act positively, but don’t through your metaphorical back out on too big a lift. There are thousands of people dying in terrible ways every day, and other horrors. You can’t take all the burdens on yourself and demand others join you at the cost of poisoning the good aspects of life. Antagonizing your husband won’t help the election result, and getting into fights won’t make you a better campaigner.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't need to be fired up. He just needs to vote.

[Anonymous]

A “weenie”? Not being eight years old, I’m not even sure what this means. It is by no means obvious that Harris will win, And this is truly a historic moment — Trump Is a huge danger to democracy as we know it. However, you can’t expect everyone to get fired up about the election To the extent that they’re going to go phone banking or something.

Don’t create problems in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you know that a lot of political science and economics research has been devoted to trying to figure out why people vote at all, because economic models of individual behavior indicate that it is not individually rational to vote? I guess your husband is economically rational. You, on the other hand, well... lol

NP but this is actually intriguing. Can you suggest some starting point to read about this for total laymen?

There is a lot of debate about this. voting is economically irrational
In general, being a good person is bad for the person being good, but good for others. Being good is only profitable if almost everyone else is good too. Cheaters usually win.
Like many economic debates, it suffers from a presumption by some people that humans are or should be money maximizing robots, meat bags filled with biochemical soup.

[Anonymous]

Troll or blind to the UN agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an extremist lunatic. Please leave him alone

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

I think OP is less concerned that her DH is not phone banking and more concerned that he doesn't realize what is at stake for women. He just doesn't have skin in the game with the results of this election the way a woman does - he will be fine, maybe even better off, particularly if he is white.

Remember the article about the men who got involved in reproductive rights only after they watched their wives almost die with complicated miscarriages and pregnancies in red states with abortion bans? Most of them said they never paid attention to the issue or believed what women said until it affected them personally.

Have him watch the part of Michelle Obama's speech about a husband having to watch his wife shiver and cry during a delivery gone bad, or stand at her grave holding flowers. This is the only thing that will resonate. Most men--even good men who have wives and daughters--do not care about what happens to women unless it impacts them personally, sorry to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fair to be irritated because this is something you care about and he is being dismissive. It would not be a heavy lift to write some GOTV postcards together. It's also fair to reevaluate whether you still have shared values.

However, it might be helpful to imagine him canvassing with you (or whatever) and ask whether that would actually make you feel better. It might not.

I wondre if it's really about this

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd be upset too. Politics are a big part of who I am - and if my husband doesn't share in that, it would be challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is less concerned that her DH is not phone banking and more concerned that he doesn't realize what is at stake for women. He just doesn't have skin in the game with the results of this election the way a woman does - he will be fine, maybe even better off, particularly if he is white.

Remember the article about the men who got involved in reproductive rights only after they watched their wives almost die with complicated miscarriages and pregnancies in red states with abortion bans? Most of them said they never paid attention to the issue or believed what women said until it affected them personally.

Have him watch the part of Michelle Obama's speech about a husband having to watch his wife shiver and cry during a delivery gone bad, or stand at her grave holding flowers. This is the only thing that will resonate. Most men--even good men who have wives and daughters--do not care about what happens to women unless it impacts them personally, sorry to say.

Does this mean most men are not good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is less concerned that her DH is not phone banking and more concerned that he doesn't realize what is at stake for women. He just doesn't have skin in the game with the results of this election the way a woman does - he will be fine, maybe even better off, particularly if he is white.

Remember the article about the men who got involved in reproductive rights only after they watched their wives almost die with complicated miscarriages and pregnancies in red states with abortion bans? Most of them said they never paid attention to the issue or believed what women said until it affected them personally.

Have him watch the part of Michelle Obama's speech about a husband having to watch his wife shiver and cry during a delivery gone bad, or stand at her grave holding flowers. This is the only thing that will resonate. Most men--even good men who have wives and daughters--do not care about what happens to women unless it impacts them personally, sorry to say.

Why is your expectation that a man would behave differently than the majority of women? After all, the majority of women are not marching down the street and setting cars on fire because of this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is less concerned that her DH is not phone banking and more concerned that he doesn't realize what is at stake for women. He just doesn't have skin in the game with the results of this election the way a woman does - he will be fine, maybe even better off, particularly if he is white.

Remember the article about the men who got involved in reproductive rights only after they watched their wives almost die with complicated miscarriages and pregnancies in red states with abortion bans? Most of them said they never paid attention to the issue or believed what women said until it affected them personally.

Have him watch the part of Michelle Obama's speech about a husband having to watch his wife shiver and cry during a delivery gone bad, or stand at her grave holding flowers. This is the only thing that will resonate. Most men--even good men who have wives and daughters--do not care about what happens to women unless it impacts them personally, sorry to say.

Stop blaming men. A good chunk of women don’t care unless and until it affects them personally, too. That’s why red states are red - women are actually allowed to vote in those states, you know, and they continue to vote Republican.